Comments on Torn Between Two Loves

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Jeff, follow your heart and it seems as if your heart is

with your girlfriend...........people always want what they can't have and then when they get it...........pine for what they really had!

posted by write4u on March 30, 2004 at 6:42 PM | link to this | reply

Rebecca
I'd rather be with my girlfriend than any other woman I know, but I also believe the relationship isn't permanent. I'll know I have a permanent relationship if and when I meet a woman who makes me feel the same way your boyfriend makes you feel.
Jeff

posted by jollyjeff on March 25, 2004 at 1:30 PM | link to this | reply

Attraction to others is healthy.
I've been married ten years to a handsome man.  I do, however, feel attracted to others, at times, and have a healthy fantasy life.  Reminding yourself once in awhile that you choose to be with the one your with is a healthy thing to do.

posted by whitworx on March 25, 2004 at 11:31 AM | link to this | reply

Welll.....

Since I met my boyfriend 2 years ago, I have had eyes for absolutely no one else. No one  else could  ever interest me the way he does. I love him like I've never loved anyone else.

( i have enough " no one else" 's in there dont I?)

Anyway, I dont quite know what to say..if   you  are attracted to others...75 % of women you meet..that kinda  tells me  you arent as ga ga for  your gf as  much as you would be if  you were totally head over heels in love with her. Aside from the huge turmoil a break up can cause,( it's easy to  stay with someone because it's  easier than breaking up---look at all the   unhappily married people out there) think with  your heart... are you gaga over  your  girlfriend?

posted by Rebecca-C on March 25, 2004 at 8:12 AM | link to this | reply

Jeff.

In the last ten years my longest relationship lasted only two weeks.  So don't take my advice.  I can tell you I'd date them both though not at the same time.

shavonne

posted by Shavonne on March 25, 2004 at 1:36 AM | link to this | reply

That's interesting Jemmie

  Actually I'm attracted to many more women than my girlfriend and Debbie. They are just my two favorites. I'm probably attracted to some degree to about 75%  of the women I meet.

            Jeff

posted by jollyjeff on March 24, 2004 at 6:14 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks Sftreat

You're right I am an awesome catch if I do say so myself:) I think my girlfriend would agree.

      Jeff

posted by jollyjeff on March 24, 2004 at 6:12 PM | link to this | reply

Personally...

I've never been attracted to two people at the same time.  I mean I can look at another guy and say, "Wow! He's handsome."  But that's different than feeling a chemistry.  If I am in love with the person I am with, he's the only one I want to be with.

Honestly, it sounds as if you are, actually, the same way.  You already said you wouldn't leave your woman for Debbie.  Sounds to me as if your head is in the right place--and that you're thinking with the right head.

posted by Jemmie211 on March 24, 2004 at 11:45 AM | link to this | reply

I'm guessing you are an awsome catch!

Crushes extend to more than just the love we are with.  We get crushes onour friends, our care providers, our teachers, the checker at the store.  But the crushes are only so sweet, as long as there is mystery and fantasy.  If we acted on each of those special friendships which come from the connections we feel with others, where would we be?  I have friends like that.  IF only, I wonder, could we...???  But then if we act on our impulses, what would happen to that very special friendship?  To tell you the truth, I value my friendships so much, that when I have one like you describe, I want to hang on to it forever.  Therefore, I stay away from intense relationships with my best friends.  Cuz it seems these days, lovers come and go.  Gail Sheehey talks about it in her book called Stages.  Good luck Jeff - From your writing, I'm guessing you are an awsome catch!

SFTreat

posted by sftreat on March 24, 2004 at 8:29 AM | link to this | reply

You make the right choice. Unfortunately it has been my experience that the more correct something is, the more difficult it is to do! Good Luck, buddy!

posted by FoxyBlue on March 24, 2004 at 7:22 AM | link to this | reply