Go to Tales In Progress...
- Add a comment
- Go to Sudden Exit - "Circle Story"
I have declare the Critter Circle to be dead.

If you would like me to fill out the critique sheet for your story, please drop me an email and I will email my critiques of your story. Thank you for contributing a story and I'm sorry that my idea just wasn't right for Blogit.
posted by
Kay-Ren
on July 12, 2004 at 8:07 AM
| link to this | reply
Jaded, not getting to say
goodbye was, in fact, the hardest part. And I took no offense at the criticism. However am I going to get better otherwise? Thanks again for reading and commenting.
posted by
word.smith
on June 2, 2004 at 7:09 PM
| link to this | reply
I'm sorry to hear that - it must have been awful experience for you. It's hard when you don't really get a chance to say goodbye.
Hope you didn't mind the criticism... I offer it because I'd like someone to do the same for me. One of the reasons I'm here is to improve my writing. 
posted by
JadedMind
on June 2, 2004 at 3:10 PM
| link to this | reply
Thanks for reading Jaded...
Thanks also for your criticism. I see what you mean about a seamless transition. I think I probably forgot about making it a well-rounded story because it happened just as I wrote it. I kind of wrote it to get all the emotions out of my system. My mother died just as I wrote it.
posted by
word.smith
on June 2, 2004 at 10:02 AM
| link to this | reply
I think you did a very good job of describing Nadine's emotions, and the story kept me interested. The one piece of advise I would offer is to somehow convey what you state in the first two paragraphs (about happiness and the baby) with a descriptive scene (maybe Nadine is nursing the baby and reminiscing) that leads into the scene with Ginny. It would make the transition a little more seamless in my mind. It was still a really good piece of writing, though.
posted by
JadedMind
on June 2, 2004 at 5:59 AM
| link to this | reply
you're welcome Kay-Ren
posted by
word.smith
on June 1, 2004 at 6:42 PM
| link to this | reply
This is a good 'slice of life' story. Thanks for entering it into the circle. 
posted by
Kay-Ren
on June 1, 2004 at 1:29 PM
| link to this | reply
Thanks Ms. Pickles
posted by
word.smith
on May 30, 2004 at 8:26 AM
| link to this | reply
wow...
That was great! keep up the good work!
posted by
littlemspickles
on May 30, 2004 at 3:48 AM
| link to this | reply