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My condolences
Chances are we will never meet but my heart goes out to you. During a five month period earlier this year I lost three people who are close to you. I was thrown into a world of overwhelm and simple tasks like returning a phone call become "too much." It's called compound grief.
Please don't blame the people who say, "get over it." They just don't know how to deal with your grief. We are taught that death is almost like the "ultimate insult." When the truth is that it's part of the journey of life. I think it's very healthy that you are continuing to write about the death of your father and talking with people about it. Don't let others discourage you. Do what you need to do - for you.
When my better half Ernie lost his mom two years ago I attended some Hospice meetings with him. One of the things I learned is that we never go back to being "normal." We will always have that loss no matter what. But what we can do is gradually develop a "new normal." What we can do is have more compassion for those who have lost people they love and help them through their mourning. What we can do is learn to smile again and really have the emotional energy to love the people who matter to us in a way that's more deep and profound.
I wish you peace and joy.
All the best,
Denise Michaels
"Testosterone Free Marketing" blog
posted by
DeniseMM
on October 10, 2004 at 9:42 AM
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do what u need to do
Just read ur post. Am new here but felt the need to reply. You should not feel badly about writing how you feel. It takes a while and creative ability to heal after u have lost someone you love so much. Very moving. Wish u well and do what u need to do to heal.
posted by
bejah
on October 5, 2004 at 7:16 PM
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I hope you get a chance to work things out with your mother.
Keep writing about your dad.
posted by
Tremac
on October 4, 2004 at 9:46 PM
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tremacc
I think I kinda understand what you mean. My relationship with my mother is virtually nil. In fact, the memorial for my dad on Maui was the first time in like four or five years that I had seen my mother and the first time in a few that I had even spoken a word to her.
posted by
Jemmie211
on October 4, 2004 at 9:33 PM
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Jemmie, I don't know what to say. To be honest, my father was never an integral part of my life growing up. I saw him in snatches throughout the years and I always saw him through the eyes of a stranger. That's sad, but it is what it is. Keep on writing, though I don't have much feedback I enjoy reading about all of the great thoughts that you had about your dad. It's nice to see the role of a father through your eyes. It's a pretty great view.
posted by
Tremac
on October 4, 2004 at 9:23 PM
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Yep..
Belle said it all. Thinking of you
posted by
Tyto-Alba
on October 3, 2004 at 2:07 PM
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Jemmie
First, there is no need to apologize. Second, you will stop crying when you have done with crying and then on later dates you will cry again,
posted by
beachbelle
on October 3, 2004 at 6:00 AM
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