Comments on The Grief Surge

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a mini howl is better than no howl at all. (p.s. the car is a great place for howl therapy.)

posted by Wolf-Girl on November 3, 2004 at 9:50 AM | link to this | reply

Wolf-girl
I did a mini howl in the shower, but since it was late at night, I couldn't let it out in full force.

posted by Jemmie211 on November 3, 2004 at 9:45 AM | link to this | reply

rest assured, he is. have you tried your howl therapy yet?

posted by Wolf-Girl on November 3, 2004 at 9:35 AM | link to this | reply

Thanks folks!
All your comments here made me feel like there still are some people out there caring for me.  I feel Daddy is making sure I am watched over and taken care of.

posted by Jemmie211 on November 3, 2004 at 9:24 AM | link to this | reply

Ha!
I always love R & B. Hence the SN. Boriss Badinoff...and Natasha _______: I can't remember her last name! I also loved "Fractured Fairy Tales"...there's nothing to compare to that now. Your boyfriend needs to get a clue. It takes time and above all: understanding. Even now, therre are weird little moments that spark a vivid memory--it could be the smell of pipe tobacco (Edgeworth), or a certain phrase he'd use and now being recycled by my brother with HIS kids. In the meantime, you're welcome to lean on me and, I'm sure, any of the Blogit folks who've weighed in with their advice. Grieving is ok, and those around you need to support you--not just whine because your mood is inconvenient. How selfish.

posted by mooseandsquirrel on November 2, 2004 at 6:45 AM | link to this | reply

Jemmy
From what I remember of those times it's gets tougher before it gets easier. Whatever you do just be yourself.

posted by beachbelle on November 1, 2004 at 10:31 PM | link to this | reply

Wolf-Girl
Oh people think I'm crazy already!  So I can howl all I want. 

posted by Jemmie211 on November 1, 2004 at 7:54 PM | link to this | reply

I know it sounds trite but time will lessen your pain, and maybe a good long howl will help (when you are all alone, so as not to make people think you've gone mad).

posted by Wolf-Girl on November 1, 2004 at 7:41 PM | link to this | reply

mooseandsquirrel

You know, Daddy and I would watch Rocky and Bullwinkle together all the time.  In fact, when I went to CA for his memorial, I asked his wife for his Boris and Natasha socks.

I know it'll get easier with time.  I just hate this terrible pain in my heart.  My boyfriend can't understand why I am still grieving.  He thinks I should just move on.  I try, but it's hard to lose the one person in the world who was the most important person in my life.

posted by Jemmie211 on November 1, 2004 at 5:19 PM | link to this | reply

From One Who Knows
My dad died 3/01 and it's still a poingnant memory. I went through exactly what you described. I didn't want to do anything or even be with anyone. I was a teacher of 5th graders at that time and my school was amazingly understanding. I was away for a week, and when I returned, there was only joy at my return and genuine compassion and love from the kids. My teaching partner had lost his dad years earlier and I credit him with setting the tone that made my return so easy. I also was crushingly tired almost all the time--as signof understandable depression. My dad smoked a pipe and my 4 siblings each kept a pipe from his collection. I'm wearing one of his flannel workshirts now. Your blog really touched me, as you can tell. What I can tell you is what I was made to understand by friends who were similarly wise: what you're feeling and how you are behaving is ok and all part of the process to get through this. The feelings are always going to be there, but it will become less painful in a way that will eventually allow you to take real joy in the random periodic things that keep him alive in your heart; it will soon feel good to remember him and the pain of letting go will be replaced by the warmth of revelling in his life.

posted by mooseandsquirrel on November 1, 2004 at 3:13 PM | link to this | reply