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Be flat out honest about your motives
She should know you well enough to know that your not about money. You are not asking for any proceeds from a sale, you are asking her not to sell it. There is no money involved in that scenario. Sorry about your ring. I had my Father's wedding ring and it was stolen along with my class ring.
posted by
Sherri_G
on November 17, 2004 at 9:31 PM
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jemz, ?donde estas, corazon? Missing you. U R well, I hope.
posted by
benzinha
on November 14, 2004 at 3:02 AM
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Is it really fair to ask a woman who has lost her husband to not sell a house that she may no longer want to live in? Can she afford to buy a new place and leave the old house sitting? Would she be financially hurting? And why hang onto a house that you will never live in and don't want anyone else to live in? Pick something else of your Dad's. And you always have memories. No one can take those away. You're grief is real, but others are grieving too. You might want to consider offering to buy the house from your stepmother, but you would have to buy it at market price.
posted by
AnnaMJ
on November 12, 2004 at 12:15 AM
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Considering your financial situation and judgment upon the "bitches" that do have money, perhaps you need to rethink your motives... I believe you would be crossing a line if you discussed the matter with your father's wife. The house is hers, you have no right in asking for it.
posted by
cmoe
on November 10, 2004 at 1:33 PM
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A connection is what you're looking for I think
I know exactly what you need from that house - it's a connection to your Dad, something solid that you can see and touch, that was his. Is there something from the house (some furniture, a picture) that reminds you of him when you see it? Did he have a favourite chair that you could ask to have? Were there things in the house that he had from when you were a child?
Your Dad's accomplishment of owning a home won't be forgotten to you even if the house is sold someday, in the same way that all his accomplishments will be memories you have of him forever.
posted by
DivineDiva
on November 8, 2004 at 10:15 AM
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Jemmie,
Just explain your reasoning the way you have to us...and that you don't want to cause her any extra pain...that you need the connection...good luck!
posted by
Original_Influence
on November 5, 2004 at 5:23 PM
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That is so hard, maybe just have a talk with her you can both figure something out. I wish you all the best. Maybe ,like she said something from the house but if you really want it just talk to her . You both loved the same man , maybe she will understand and come up with a solution. Take care.
posted by
Melodystar
on November 5, 2004 at 9:47 AM
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Jems
You don't want the house, you want a piece of your daddy. The house is only a symbol of that. You wouldn't live in the house if you owned it, so you wouldn't have that part of your father with you. Maybe you should follow Beachbelle's advice. Find something from the house as a rememberance of your Dad.
posted by
CatLadyintheAttic
on November 5, 2004 at 7:49 AM
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Jemmie
In those circumstances I would express it to her as your hope that one day you hope it will be yours but sadly you cannot force it and you must always keep in mind that things can change
posted by
beachbelle
on November 5, 2004 at 1:03 AM
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Beachbelle
I totally understand where you are coming from. And I certainly am not taking it in a bad way. I know that living anywhere but Hawai`i would be hard for me to do. But if I did get the house, I wouldn't rent it out. Would I live there? Perhaps. I certainly wouldn't want it to be inhabited by anyone other than family. I couldn't bear someone I don't know living in my dad's house.
There is a lot to think about. I know there is.
That's why I haven't asked his wife yet. I mean, she's already told me that she's put everything in her living will as belonging to me if she dies. But prior to her death, she can do anything she wants since Daddy didn't have a will.
posted by
Jemmie211
on November 5, 2004 at 12:59 AM
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Jemmie, this is a tough one.
It's probably not what you want to hear but I think that you have to respect that this house if the home of your father's wife. I mean even if she is really wealthy, it is still her decision. Had you inherited it, it would be different. It is difficult to let go but if you were never to live in the house and then you rented it out, it would never be the same as when he was there.
The house was the wonderful place it was for you because he was there.
Of course if you were in a position to buy it might be different. So I would go and spend some time there, preferably with someone, and perhaps you could ask your dad's wife if you could choose a special memento from the house.
I am sorry it is probably not what you want to hear.
posted by
beachbelle
on November 5, 2004 at 12:53 AM
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