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Best to focus on your friend I guess Jemmie
I am a true believer in karma and this guy is going to get his, in this life or the next. Deeds like his don't go unpunished.
Best idea will be to help your friend get strong so she can truly believe she deserves happiness and to help her find that. It's so tough though, when someone is in a hurtful relationship to show them the way out. Just be the true friend you are, and she'll get there.
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 4, 2004 at 6:57 PM
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DivineDiva
Thanks for the pep talk! I wish I knew how to get in touch with him. I even tried looking online for his contact info, but couldn't find anything.
I do have ways of finding him, however, they're not exactly legal ways. And the people I'd have to get in touch with wouldn't exactly give me his contact info without having a "chat" with the guy as well. And like I said earlier, I don't exactly want him hurt. I don't want to give myself that kind of bad karma.
*sigh*
Though, I do admit that when I found out about his cheating ways the first time I did call someone to ask about a hit--since I saw what that did to my friend and how she was willing to kill herself over that jerk. *mutter*
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 4, 2004 at 3:44 PM
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That creep needs another dose of Jemmie !
Sounds like you did a great job with that guy the last time - it's too bad you aren't able to reach him. He sounds like he could use another "chat", hopefully one that made his gonads shrink to the size of capers so it would be impossible for him to have sex ever again 
.
I'm glad to hear that there are people checking on your friend - this is such a tough time for her, and you. When all this is over and she's hopefully kicked his butt in the ocean, she's going to be so thankful to have you in her corner.
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 4, 2004 at 4:56 AM
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DivineDiva
I have the room to keep her here, but I know she won't come. So what I've done is told two others on her island about the situation and asked them to check on her. Plus I'll call her daily to check up as well.
I realized I never answered your question about talking directly to the a'hole. If I did that, boy oh boy would he get an earful! The last time I spoke with him (right after I told my friend about the first instance of his cheating ways) I was quite ... umm ... bitchy. He was so stunned that he didn't reply, so I hung up on him and turned off the phone (it was my friend's cell) so he couldn't call her back. My friend thanked me for that. But this time I don't have the funds to be with her and thus be able to talk (read: scream at) to him again. And I have no way of finding out his phone number or anything.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 4, 2004 at 4:16 AM
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So tough ...
Does your friend have the resources to come and stay with you even for a few days? (do you have the space?) She will probably balk at the idea, since she is sure to be depressed right now, but could you "insist" she get herself on a plane? Tell her you need her to be with you?
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 3, 2004 at 1:46 PM
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SincerityAnna and Bunny
You guys are probably right. *sigh* I have been praying for and sending positive energy to my friend. I only hope she's open enough to receive it.
Still, I can't help but hope that this guy's inward ugliness somehow makes its way to the surface.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 3, 2004 at 12:28 PM
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DivineDiva
I've already told her. She was happy I did so, but angry at the news itself. Yesterday she didn't pick up her phone, nor did she return my calls. And I can't just drop by her house to see her since she's on a different island. *sigh*
Today, though, she did call me, but only to say she was still alive. She didn't want to talk about anything. And she sounded awful.
All I can do is pray for her and send her my positive energy.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 3, 2004 at 12:27 PM
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What you can do...
you could direct your energy towards her protection by wishing for her to no longer tolerate it...but you cannot do much else.
posted by
SincerityAnna
on December 3, 2004 at 9:07 AM
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From Bunny
What you are contemplating never has a good outcome. It would be far better to use all your power to impart wisdom to your friend.
posted by
Bunny
on December 2, 2004 at 9:40 PM
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Can you talk to the a'hole directly?
It sounds like your friend is going to be in dire straits if she finds out he's cheating on her again? It will be such a blow to her self esteem to find out he's cheating. Can you get to him and tell him that if he doesn't get his act together and get out of your friend's life you WILL tell her? Can you help her get stronger to be able to cope with him leaving?
This guy sounds like a total creep.
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 2, 2004 at 5:24 PM
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Ariala
I tried that the last time I found out he had cheated on my friend. The only thing that happened was that my friend tried to slit her wrists.
I feel it's time to take action. I cannot . . . CANNOT . . . lose my friend. Not to this jerk.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 2, 2004 at 1:51 PM
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Jemmie, I'm not a Wiccan, but from what I understand, the best way to deal
with such issues is to let the universe choose the best method of stopping him. In other words, whether you use spells, prayers, visualizations or whatever energy source and direction, it's best to let the universe deal with the "binding" element.
posted by
Ariala
on December 2, 2004 at 1:37 PM
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