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The hardest thing about being a true friend
.....is to sit by and watch them be hurt. Keep doing what you're doing, try and build up her self esteem if you can, as you talk to her.
It is so tough being a friend in these situations, and all your energy is being spent on trying to help her, but Jemmie, don't forget to look after you too, ok ?
I'll send you both as much positive energy as I can 
.
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 5, 2004 at 6:32 AM
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Diva
Sadly, the guy she was talking to is a good friend of hers. And she isn't one to make light of a situation. If she says she kinda believes her jerkie bf, then she does.
I was talking to another friend, and we both agree that my friend is probably trying to convince herself that her bf is being honest so that she doesn't get as hurt and doesn't feel stupid for sticking with him all these years. It's easier for her to think the other girl is lying than for her to think she's made a mistake by trusting him.
And I know my friend--she doesn't give her trust easily. It'd kill her to think that she made the ultimate mistake in trusting this jerkie.
As for me...I'm stressing big time about this whole thing. I love my friend with all my heart, and to know that she's in turmoil and I can't do anything to help her makes me sick (literally--I've been sick to my stomach all day). All I can do is call her and leave her messages saying I love her and am praying for her. She'll call me when she's ready.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 4, 2004 at 11:51 PM
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Yikes !
I really hope your friend doesn't buy this creep's stories. She would be just setting herself up to be hurt again and again. Is it possible the person she was talking to wasn't that close to her? So she might have been saving face by saying "oh I'm sure it's a mistake" instead of getting into a personal conversation with them about her b'friend cheating on her?
Hopefully you'll get to talk to her today and find out what she's thinking. If she truly is going to buy this guy's lies, you might want to do some research on helping abused women. She's sticking with this guy just like women stick with men that physically hurt them. She probably knows, in her heart of hearts, that he's cheating and is a bigtime creep, but something is keeping her from facing that reality. Maybe by learning how some of those women are helped it might help you with your friend?
How are YOU doing through all of this? Don't forget to look after you too
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 4, 2004 at 11:07 PM
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