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Thank you all for your comments
I do appreciate them.
Yes, I am lucky to have these journal pages, although they are only xerox copies. The last time I ever talked to my dad, he told me of the journal and told me that he'd send the original to me. When I mentioned it to my dad's wife, suddenly everyone got involved in looking for the journal (his co-workers, etc), and now all I have are copies--and copies that are cut off at the bottom, at that. I know the original is out there somewhere, and I am determined to get that so I better know what he wrote.
I have felt him near me in the last day or so, so that is nice. At least he knows I need him right now and is trying to be here for me as much as he can be.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 18, 2004 at 7:29 PM
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Jemmie, I'd second RachelAnna.
Some people regret living but your dad managed to get in tune with life and the fact that your Dad was self reflective enough to write a journal is a great gift.
posted by
Cynthia
on December 18, 2004 at 2:04 PM
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Wow...
I guess you can be at peace knowing he was happy and full of life before he passed.
posted by
RachelAnna
on December 18, 2004 at 11:09 AM
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It must be very hard for you, but having his journal means you not only have memories, you also have a piece of him to keep.
posted by
Ca88andra
on December 18, 2004 at 4:48 AM
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msaries
Currently, the temps are in the 80s here. At night lately it's been getting down to about 65.
But I'm not bragging. 
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 17, 2004 at 7:09 PM
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Last night, I dreamed about going to Hawaii and meeting you.
The dream seemed so real to me. With lows of 11 degrees coming up this weekend, Hawaii sounds downright delightful. Take care, kind friend.
posted by
msaries
on December 17, 2004 at 7:06 PM
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Cherish yourself Jemmie
It is so very hard, at the time of year especially, to feel happy and thankful. You and I know this more than most, I think.
So Jemmie, cherish yourself....ok? Do things that make you happy if you can, and try and focus on giving the kind of love that your Dad had for you, to others that are special to you.
Peace,
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 17, 2004 at 5:43 PM
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Thanks Diva!
Your understanding means a lot to me. *hugs*
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 17, 2004 at 5:38 PM
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Happy...
Jemmie, it is so very sad that your Dad was taken at a time that he was feeling so happy and making plans to be even happier.
I guess the only solace you have is that he was happy and feeling that life was good.
My heart breaks for you Jemmie.
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 17, 2004 at 5:27 PM
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PecanSis
Could be. You and I do have a strong connection. And when I was crying I was thinking of you--wishing I could call and not worry about bothering you at work!
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 17, 2004 at 4:47 PM
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Fat Girl Huggs for my Jemms
I've been thinking alot about you today. Maybe this was why?
posted by
CatLadyintheAttic
on December 17, 2004 at 4:35 PM
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How sad!
posted by
fwmystic
on December 17, 2004 at 1:56 PM
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I hope youre feeling better soon, im sure he wouldnt want you to cry
posted by
Tanoolicious
on December 17, 2004 at 1:09 PM
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Jemmie
It's as it should be that he was making plans, still learning. Few of us will tie our lives in neat bundles. This was very moving. I remember my dad was at a stage of life where he was going to dabble in some different jobs. He didn't need the work, he just wanted some new experiences. The day he died his cab licence finally turned up in the mail. It had taken about a year.
posted by
beachbelle
on December 17, 2004 at 1:06 PM
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Tanoolicious
Thank you so much. *hugs*
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 17, 2004 at 1:05 PM
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:::hugs::: Im so sorry
posted by
Tanoolicious
on December 17, 2004 at 1:03 PM
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