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Jemmie, your friend is stuck...
For whatever reason, fear, self esteem issues etc., it sounds like your friend is stuck in a rut of being a victim to worthless aholes.
If you think it would be effective, it might be time to give her some tough love. Support her and the children 100%. Give her ideas, guidance, places to find out about help for abused women, work prospects, whatever you think she needs. But DON'T let her talk at length about the problems with Mr. A-hole. If she starts about what he's done, answer "that is horrible, I can understand how painful this is, isn't it time you protected your children and got out ?"
I don't mean that you should overlook the things she's saying about this jerkface, but if you bring her back to reality and show her she does have choices, maybe she'll find the strength to make some good ones.
Being on the outside looking in is tough Jenn, especially when you can see she would be so much better off alone with her children.
Hang in there girl 
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 27, 2004 at 7:52 PM
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StrickGold
I've done that. I've told her she could be killed. I've told her to get her kids out of that situation for their own safety. She left him for a few weeks once, but went back.
In the past her abusive relationships have lasted upwards of five years. 
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 27, 2004 at 5:51 PM
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Women in these situations
need serious help, and staying for the kids is the wrong reason. They have been so scared for so long. just remind this dear friend that every 12 second awomen is killed due to domestic violence
posted by
StrickGold
on December 27, 2004 at 5:48 PM
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Spitfire
That's true. Doesn't stop the situation from breaking my heart though.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 27, 2004 at 5:44 PM
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fwmystic
I do give her sympathy, but it breaks my heart to know she's hurting. She's always been a good friend to me, and I wish I could be the same for her.
But I know that she won't leave him unless she truly wants to do so. Sadly, she still believes her children are better off with him around.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 27, 2004 at 5:43 PM
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Homegirl
I know the lack of money feeling only too well, but I do always try to keep in mind that there is someone worse off than me. Good luck to you!
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 27, 2004 at 5:42 PM
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Jems, did you post something about this friend a long time ago?
It sounds familliar. Regardless, as much as you care about her, she made her own bed...
posted by
SpitFire70
on December 27, 2004 at 5:29 PM
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Let them go!
I have a friend who gets involved with one loser after another. She doesn't want help. She wants sympathy.
posted by
fwmystic
on December 27, 2004 at 4:15 PM
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a reminder that someone is always better off than us.
I was just in tears to my husband because our bills are very tight and me might even get behind this month if I can't make some extra money. Then he said something about the living room and I said "which one?" I feel like a heel.
posted by
homegirl
on December 27, 2004 at 2:09 PM
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