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Ain't mothers something
Mine forgot to give me a gift this year. A few days after xmas she said she found a package in her bedroom it held a pair of candlesticks that were supposed to be part of my present. I didn't ask what the other part was as l thought she'd be upset to know she'd actually forgotten me.
posted by
englishwoman
on January 8, 2005 at 12:06 PM
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I thought later that maybe I should have done that Witchflower
Refused delivery that is. The reason I didn't was that I did want and appreciate the furniture, I just wasn't as enthusiastic about it as my mother wanted me to be.
posted by
jollyjeff
on January 3, 2005 at 2:06 PM
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You care or don't care
because you are an individual with your own unique set of interests. You are not a clone of your mother, and she shouldn't expect you to care about things she knows you don't care about. This may be going too far, but I see what she did as a sign of control. I have dealt with several, even many, controlling women (and I am a woman), and when they try to force an issue on you, it is so they can feel they are in control. My MIL used to be especially this way. I had to return something she bought that I did not want to her to make my point. It caused her to become "upset," yes, but she seemed to understand that I didn't want her tastes forced on me. Of course, it made her hate me all the more (because I returned the avocado green electric fondue pot), but that's another story. I guess if it had been me in your situation, I would have returned the furniture or refused delivery, but that is really your business.
Don't allow her to make you feel guilty. You are entitled to your own thoughts, cares and don't cares. You are an adult, interesting person who is unique. 
posted by
Witchflower
on January 3, 2005 at 7:00 AM
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I think we do make the choice...
but more a subconcious one, based on our personal experiences, and how our life was gone.
If you had learned to be excited about furniture as a child, maybe you would be excited about it now. That doesn't mean that you may not get excited about furniture, but who can be much exited about something that someone else choses for us? If I was on my own, I would like to have furniture....I'd also like to pick it out on my own, based on exactly what and how much I'd like.
I guess one of the things that would be strange for me as a woman is the fact that I don't much get excited over clothes. To be honest, I have about 2-3 pairs of clothes that I wear regularly. I am very picky about this. I hardly ever buy clothes, and when I do, it is usually because I spot something that I REALLY like, or out of simple nessecity.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on December 31, 2004 at 10:46 AM
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That's what I've done Jemmie
I've told my Mom I appreciate the gesture, but if I told her I cared much about the furniture itself, I'd be lying.
posted by
jollyjeff
on December 30, 2004 at 9:44 AM
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I have this problem, too. I just sort of learned to fake it...at least with my mother, that is.
posted by
Shiksa
on December 30, 2004 at 9:01 AM
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It's not the furniture you should care about...
You really should care about the gesture your mom made by getting you the furniture. She obviously cares about you very much and wants you to be comfortable.
Regardless how you feel about the furniture itself, you really should care that your mom cares about you.
posted by
Jemmie211
on December 30, 2004 at 12:10 AM
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jollyjeff...lucky you!
you have a mother like everyone else
posted by
Original_Influence
on December 29, 2004 at 7:13 PM
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Jeff,
I honestly have no idea which Neil Sedaka song that one is... I refuse to look them up and cheat. So I leave them!! Now, come answer my personal ad LOL
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on December 29, 2004 at 6:05 PM
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JollyJ, this is a great post and very interesting, too.
In one of my college psychology classes, I learned that we can have interests, dislikes, and other traits that are inherited...even if we never met the biological relative that it was inherited by! See, I was adopted and never met my birth parents, so I was curious about this and asked the professor. I always wondered if certain things had to be learned behavior or possibly genetic. I do also believe that much has to do with our own unique personality. I think in your case, I'd say it is one of those male/female things. Ask your mom why she's not interested in playing a sports video game on Play Station2. Ask her why she doesn't find football exciting. That may clue her in as to why you are not dancing a jig of glee over furniture. 
posted by
SpitFire70
on December 29, 2004 at 5:56 PM
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That's pretty much what I've been thinking gypsy
By the way there are still two unguessed songs from earlier this month if you want to take a crack at them.
posted by
jollyjeff
on December 29, 2004 at 5:49 PM
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That's pretty much what I'
posted by
jollyjeff
on December 29, 2004 at 5:48 PM
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Ok Jeff, You asked for it...
I care if my feet are cold. I put socks on that have toes sewn in. They're weird but I like them.
I don't care if you wanted to know that LOL.
Honestly though, don't worry so much about what your mother feels you should care about. It seems to me that you have the priorities that matter to you. That's all you can do.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on December 29, 2004 at 5:37 PM
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