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- Go to Happy Birthday Ariala. You're officially, uh......old.
soon the hurricane season will be upon us. Which city will be demolished.
posted by
scriber
on March 24, 2006 at 9:00 AM
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Just discovered your blog and am very impressed. A lot of work goes into your posts and they are hilarious. Keep up the good work
Cheers
Roony
posted by
roony35
on August 8, 2005 at 8:04 PM
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mark2556,
The same gang of male Hooters can make their rounds...
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on June 21, 2005 at 3:02 PM
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mark2556,
How come the other bloggers aren't given similar birthday parties? After all, they reveal their birthdays in symp's birthday blog.
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on June 21, 2005 at 2:57 PM
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Burly, you're a typical male and hence, I would expect that.
posted by
Ariala
on June 9, 2005 at 11:50 AM
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Ariala, I didn't realize that you are middle age..I am dropping you.
posted by
Burly
on June 9, 2005 at 11:40 AM
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Ariala, I didn't realize that you are middle age..I dropping you.
posted by
Burly
on June 9, 2005 at 11:39 AM
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Wooooo.....
....Hooooooo!!!!!!!
PAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEE!
D
posted by
DamonLeigh
on May 17, 2005 at 9:51 AM
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Their poetry evoked the sloppiest of goo
posted by
Ariala
on May 15, 2005 at 6:24 AM
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Oh yeah...
Bolgit's
Couple of the Year - 2004. And oft-featured guests on
America's Gooiest Mutants.
posted by
mark2556
on May 15, 2005 at 6:23 AM
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posted by
Ariala
on May 15, 2005 at 6:18 AM
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Ann ~ She/He?
I think that was Scriber's poetry. Or Chris' profile.
posted by
mark2556
on May 15, 2005 at 6:13 AM
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Mark,
Sorry, I have no conclusive evidence. I haven't written about such in fiction either.
Some other writers used to post about she/he...
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 6:25 PM
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Ann ~ Do you have clinical proof of that?
Like fully researched and notarized and everything? And names?
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 6:18 PM
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Mark, ummm...I was thinking more of the male variety. I'm not bi-polar
either.
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 6:18 PM
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Mark,
That chick was for yourself? Some of us females are not bipolar... yet...
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 6:14 PM
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Ariala ~ OK
But I'm not really done interviewing all the candidates yet.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 5:54 PM
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Mark--officially funny forty
posted by
scriber
on May 14, 2005 at 4:30 PM
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Mark, those security guys tasted stale...send a fresh batch right away.
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 4:22 PM
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Blood transfusion?
I don't give a crap about the secrity people...it's the highly sophisticated anti-personnel equipement they carry I don't wanna lose. I've got thousands invested in that stuff.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 4:19 PM
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Mark,
I guess you might need a medical team on standby. State call for blood donation maybe even be necessary.
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 3:37 PM
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Wait, I thought they were part of my bday present. Ooops...I'll have them
showered and dressed in a jiff.
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 3:32 PM
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Yeah, and we'd like our security team back, too.
All 16 of them. Unharmed, if that's possible.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 3:31 PM
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Chelly, lol...the big bossomy blond took all the extras...
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 3:30 PM
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The gaggle of midgets you sent over got a bit enthusiastic over me...I
can't help trashing the place up, I like it rough with midgets...as for the harem, I sucked them dry...hence the blood storage requirement. We, modern day vampires enjoy fresh blood with our morning crossiants, but I still want my deposit back.
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 3:29 PM
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Charge her?
She's totally trashed the Day Spa & Water Treament Facilty, the
Genuine Alligator Experience Pool and several police cruisers. For someone who never takes drugs she sure seems to enjoy them.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 3:23 PM
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Mark
I've read that pig's blood is a delicacy. Maybe the homo sapien plasma is another delicacy too. Bats may have a change in the fruit diet.
Charge her for it!
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 2:52 PM
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Ann ~ I'm not sure...
...but Birthday Girls keeps putting some awfully bloody stuff into our compound Tupperware and asking us to freeze it. She's starting to freak out the kitchen staff.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 2:35 PM
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Mark,
How did one get rid of the evidence? Fed them to the allies? Those 'gators sure had a whooper of a party menu!
Or were they were dumped into the chilli pot?
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 2:32 PM
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Ann ~ They're missing appendages, alright...
....but I think the birthday girl just got a bit too enthusiastic. Ouch!
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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Mark,
The beefcake has brought a turnaround for a professed vegetarian. Is that a thumbs up or down?
Alligators can't be messed with, be they homo or straight firemen. Unless you're hinting the firemen have missing appendages...
(Ann)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 2:20 PM
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Chelly ~ Grab him while you can....
....Ariala's got her Harem outfit on and is preoccupied for the moment.
Lemme know if you need the tranquilizer gun.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 2:20 PM
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boobs were given away? well shit on me. Must have packed em all
in that woman who looks like she's about to split open. Happy Birthday anyway! When your done with the little slippery midget, can I have him? I have been quite lonely here lately. Either him or my friend that just got out of prison. I can kick the midget....
posted by
Kiddo75
on May 14, 2005 at 2:11 PM
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Oh baby...what a hottie...homo or not, he's dinner
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 2:09 PM
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Ann ~ Don't let her kid you.
She keeps pulling the fire alarm and insists on answering the door herself.
.jpg)
The rest of us have pushed 8 fire trucks into the Everglades so far. Frankly, it's starting to piss off the alligators. They hate homo firefighters.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 2:09 PM
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Chris, shaddup...
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 2:03 PM
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Ann, I gave away boobs and other useless door prizes
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 1:50 PM
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Happy Birthday, Ariala!!!
That was the handsome harem. What did the birthday gal give away for door gifts or party packs?
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on May 14, 2005 at 1:42 PM
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mark,
There we go. Living proof of what I said. She was obviously unaware of the safety precautions that she should have taken before switching on an armadildo.
posted by
Jack_Flash
on May 14, 2005 at 11:52 AM
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She doesn't??
Well, I'll be darned. How'd I miss that? No wonder she hasn't slapped me.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 11:18 AM
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Shit, she hasn't even got any arms, man...why do you always get the
cheapest ones? Oh...
posted by
chris2303
on May 14, 2005 at 11:16 AM
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Chris ~ I believe we're talking hip size.
Or maybe breast size.
Shit, I can't keep track of everything, y'know.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 11:14 AM
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Wait, Ariala's only 40?
posted by
chris2303
on May 14, 2005 at 11:10 AM
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JJ ~ Our armadildos are guaranteed bacteria-free.
~ They carry nothing more than their own personal vermin and a rechargable battery pack.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 11:09 AM
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Ari, Mark,
You should think twice about borrowing that armadildo from Mark. Even when totally sanitized in a boiling caustic solution, they are very dangerous to handle or transport. I'm not sure you could even transport one legally across state lines, and if you happen to pass through Arkansas, those Arkie State Troopers are some Bad Ass Muthas. Of course, the old Arian technique of ''Convert or Die'' might be effective on your darling dipper. Just the sight of one of those things would probably convert him without your ever having to endanger yourself by turning it on. I don't ever tell anyone what to do on a birthday, but I do feel an obligation to warn people of dangers of which they might be unaware. It would be unChristian to do otherwise.
Washout, baby, incaution is not for the cautious.... 
JJ ......
OSHA Safety Consultant
posted by
Jack_Flash
on May 14, 2005 at 10:20 AM
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Ariala ~ You want Brian, the Blonde Bimbo?
He's all yours.
Be gentle with him. It's his first time with a really, really older woman. Or any woman, for that matter.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 10:10 AM
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Mark, that midget is a biter...I still have marks from last year...I'll
take the homo with the long, blonde hair behind me, and make him straight in no time. Just let me borrow an armadildo. Thanks.
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 9:51 AM
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Mark2556
Wet toga party sounds great! Alert security that I will be arriving with the press core. If the group from Stars and Stripes shows up be careful. A few banana daiquiris and they will trash the place.
posted by
Cypress
on May 14, 2005 at 9:14 AM
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OK Mark,
I figured there might be some problems. Sorry if I got any of that started. Be sure to get that Lemur up to Spitfire's place to be checked out. I'll try not to be an instigator again.
JJ
posted by
Jack_Flash
on May 14, 2005 at 9:13 AM
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Cypress ~ Of course there's a dress code.
Wet. And please bring a toga. We're getting up a game of "Gladiator Nightmare" over at the hot tub.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 8:50 AM
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JJ ~ I have no idea.
The midget found my stash of amphetamines and Security is trying to restrain him. Little bastard just humped the living daylights out of one of the lemurs in the petting zoo.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 8:48 AM
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Happy B'day celeberations
posted by
1965stories
on May 14, 2005 at 8:46 AM
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Mark2556,
I think I got your number right that time. Are you sure they didn't get excited, fall into a mad, sexual morass, and get everything black?
JJ
posted by
Jack_Flash
on May 14, 2005 at 8:43 AM
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JJ ~ The gay ones have painted each other black.
This should help in Ariala's choice of birthday stud-muffin.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 8:38 AM
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Mark2556
I hope the band knows a couple of songs I can dance to? Will there be a theme for this party? Is there a dress code or will it be Compound casual? I would normally come fashionably late, but I do not want to miss the spanking ritual. Great job! 
posted by
Cypress
on May 14, 2005 at 8:37 AM
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Mark9696,
I think I got your number mixed up. I wanted to say ''I was here,'' but I thought maybe I should try to figure out more.
Could you have the ones who are gay paint each other a different color so that Ariala could do a more informed job of picking and choosing? That might help others too. If any of them are Bi, have them paint one another half one color and half another. All of them could paint each other except for the straight ones. You could just leave them ''au natural.'' You better have security watch them close, or there could be paint all over the place and you would be back to square zero, not able to tell Sh*t from Shinola.
I want to wish you the best of luck on that deal. JJ............ Idea Man for the 21st Century
posted by
Jack_Flash
on May 14, 2005 at 8:28 AM
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When I was little we used to sing, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday
to you, You stink like a monkey, And you look like one too." Not that this applies in any way, shape, or form to Ariala, who, by the way, is now almost as old as me and dirt--I just wanted to share the ditty with her on this horrendous occasion.
posted by
Hollee
on May 14, 2005 at 8:26 AM
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mark2556
yep... ya gotta laugh when you see spouting goo!
posted by
mysteria
on May 14, 2005 at 8:07 AM
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Mysteria ~ That's the usual reaction....
....but it's usually when somebody meets me. Then they run off screaming and soiling their pants, which always gives me a chuckle.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 8:03 AM
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Ariala ~
Oh. Well, in that case I'll keep Chris for the weekend. I'll need more Handi-Wipes, though.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 7:41 AM
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ForF ~ No, just a little hung over.
But I'll be drugged within the hour, so it all evens out.
posted by
mark2556
on May 14, 2005 at 7:22 AM
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mark
I'm speechless, not because this is awesome or funny or anything...
posted by
mysteria
on May 14, 2005 at 7:03 AM
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hahahahahahaha, thank you, Mark...I needed that, oh and ship those guys to
me ASAP...but send the midget to Chris though...they're gonna have a vaccuum cleaner party together!!!
Really, thanks for thinking of me! Means a lot...(I'm still not sleeping with you though! hehehehe)
posted by
Ariala
on May 14, 2005 at 6:48 AM
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You (Mark) are a sick pup...
funny though...
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 14, 2005 at 6:34 AM
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