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Yea! New stories
Keep 'em coming, Word
posted by
Rhiannon1
on November 29, 2005 at 6:29 PM
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Thanks John,
The trouble with these stories is that I hardly ever do anything with them in the way of trying to get them published. I really have to do some work in this area
posted by
word.smith
on July 9, 2005 at 1:38 PM
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word
It has finally started raining so I have time to read LOST - and other writings. I like the story, word.smith. Your son's and your panic comes over extremely well. It could be tightened up (that's always a safe thing to say).
Readers may identify more with the piece if you used more store names, and near the end - sorry, word, I forgot to take a note of which paragraph - you have too many sentences beginning with 'She.' I hope this helps a little.
posted by
johnmacnab
on July 9, 2005 at 6:57 AM
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Mspickles,
It was quick and intense from remembered panic. This actually happened to my son and I.
posted by
word.smith
on July 8, 2005 at 6:32 PM
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word.smith - as usual you write a good read!
I like the way you connected both perspectives of the characters to read as one story. My head was swimming with both characters with all the thoughts that were teeming in their minds! How did you manage to write and not get confused yourself!
posted by
littlemspickles
on July 8, 2005 at 3:22 PM
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Thanks very much Sunnyj.
That's exactly what I was trying to do. I'm happy to know I got it just right.
posted by
word.smith
on July 6, 2005 at 2:58 PM
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I have worked with small children all my life. You painted a four-year-old perfectly.
posted by
sunnyj
on July 6, 2005 at 1:05 AM
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Stpwriter, I will. Thanks.
posted by
word.smith
on July 4, 2005 at 8:11 AM
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This shows talent and creativity. Please visit with me again.
posted by
stpwriter1
on July 4, 2005 at 4:35 AM
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Dr. Bob,
Thanks for reading. From my point of view - island wise - it's a big mall. At some point, this one was reputed to be the biggest one in the Caribbean. I don't know if it still holds that distinction. Thanks for the compliment. Now if I could settle down long enough to make something of what I do write. Enjoy your holiday coming up tomorrow!
posted by
word.smith
on July 3, 2005 at 6:56 PM
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Anna, it sounds real because it actually happened to us
on Saturday -July 25. No matter how careful we think we are, one second is all it takes for kids to zoom off about their own business. Thanks.
posted by
word.smith
on July 3, 2005 at 6:52 PM
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Mmmw,
I must not have been seen when you wrote about that. I cannot even begin to imagine what that feels like. 
Thanks for reading.
posted by
word.smith
on July 3, 2005 at 6:50 PM
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Greeting From Dr Bob
Hey Word, just passing through on my reading rounds. Good evening and I want to let you know how much I liked this story. I could follow it and I liked the way you tied the several plots into one I was left with the thought that the this mall must be huge. You could really have fun dissecting the theme of this story in an English class for sure. Keep that pen moving!! You write some interesting and engaging stuff. Have a great week..
posted by
Dr-Bob
on July 3, 2005 at 6:49 PM
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Word.smith...
Oh my...I have children so that story really grabbed me. Great writing. Great detail. It felt real.
posted by
SincerityAnna
on July 3, 2005 at 6:48 PM
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i have lost my child so i can relate emotionally to the entire ordeal....
very well written.... :) i don't think its just that i understand, i think you described the events significantly.
posted by
mmm-w
on July 3, 2005 at 6:47 PM
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