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very interesting---- as for the gorilla -- zoo thing-- when i was pregnant with my first child i went with my husband and somes friends to the local zoo. when we got to the chimp cage, the mother grabbed her two baby chimps and took them up to the next level. she then followed me with her eyes every step i took. the zoo keeper came over because such a big crowd was gathering watching. She very frequently let out a scream and would run down toward the fence. The keeper explained that she knew I was about to give birth and was warning me to stay away from her chimps. They are very territorial. I had to leave the area, in order to keep from agitating her. I thought that was neat the way she was so perceptive, but felt very bad because she thought i would try to hurt or take her chimps. i love animals, and only in defense would I try to kill one. as for snakes, the idiot should have known better. Snakes are the one reptile I can not abide. Not because I hate them, I have seen some very beautiful ones, but because of a heart rendering fear of the creature, that I have come to live with. I live with it because I have tried many times to overcome it -- and have finally decided to accept it, and run like hell when I run across one.

posted by jesse_jean on July 31, 2005 at 6:50 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks, you two!

I certainly think so.

posted by Mademoiselle on July 31, 2005 at 4:29 PM | link to this | reply

Very interesting facts.

posted by A-and-B on July 31, 2005 at 1:55 PM | link to this | reply

A porcupine eats meat, Hemlocker!

If there's nothing else available ... and it's really, really hungry.

posted by Mademoiselle on July 31, 2005 at 4:22 AM | link to this | reply

I take that as quite a compliment, Joe.

posted by Mademoiselle on July 31, 2005 at 4:20 AM | link to this | reply

That fact surprised me, too, Vane.

When the basketball star Shaquille O'Neal visited the zoo here (in Philadelphia), one of the gorillas lunged at him. At the time, it was seen as an act of hostility. However, perhaps we were all mistaken ... and the gorilla was actually coming on to him.

posted by Mademoiselle on July 31, 2005 at 4:19 AM | link to this | reply

hmm. who would've though gorilla's were mostly gay...

posted by Vanidad on July 31, 2005 at 12:24 AM | link to this | reply

madame P.O.

The animal that ate you would at least need to be a carnivore. How about a shrew? Being so small, it would probably take one a month to eat you. That would extend the experience. A school of feeding piranhas are sort of like one animal, but that would happen too fast. You'd be terrified a minute or two and it would be over; no time for contemplation. One certainly visits strange places communicating with you. Hemlocker

posted by Hemlocker on July 30, 2005 at 5:28 PM | link to this | reply

hahahaha

Madame, you are soooooo damn odd!! LOLOL

posted by Joe_Love on July 30, 2005 at 8:32 AM | link to this | reply

And those are all valuable lessons, Hemlocker!

Anyways, I've given it some thought and I've decided I would like to be eaten by an animal. But not by something obvious such as a lion or a bear, but by an animal one would not normally expect to eat a person. Like, say, a porcupine.

posted by Mademoiselle on July 30, 2005 at 5:10 AM | link to this | reply

Can't say, Silly. I've never seen "Six Feet Under".

The only shows I watch regularly are "Arrested Development", "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", "Robot Chicken", "Ed, Edd & Eddy" and reruns of "The Simpsons", "Seinfeld" & "The Twilight Zone".

posted by Mademoiselle on July 30, 2005 at 4:58 AM | link to this | reply

Well, mmm-w,

I came to the sad realization that my personal life was something even I wasn't interested in reading about.

posted by Mademoiselle on July 30, 2005 at 4:52 AM | link to this | reply

There are important messages here:

1. Elephants don't belong in circuses (or zoos).

2. The United Farm Workers need to be more active.

3. Hunters who teach their dogs to shoot, deserve what they get.

4. Never tease a gorilla.

5. Especially, never tease a chimpanzee.

Hemlocker

posted by Hemlocker on July 29, 2005 at 4:18 PM | link to this | reply

Can ya see one of those deaths covered on Six Feet Under, expecially the

monkey rapeing one. ~Silly

posted by SillySoul88 on July 29, 2005 at 4:05 PM | link to this | reply

i love it.... so inspiring and uplifting.....

and not at all the personal journal you had drempt of keeping.... perhaps i should just send you a diary so you can "have it all"....

this is some hilarious stuff though, i nearly spewed panera cappuccino all over my laptop. yikes...

posted by mmm-w on July 29, 2005 at 2:41 PM | link to this | reply

PLEASE GOD,

Don't let me die that way! EVER!

Cripes! ~LB~ XO

posted by Anony_Miss on July 29, 2005 at 2:35 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you very much!

In a way, though, I envy these people (well, some of them). I hope when my time comes, whenever that is, that I too can die in a unique and comical fashion. Rather than something boring like "sleeping peacefully".

posted by Mademoiselle on July 29, 2005 at 12:24 PM | link to this | reply

Madame...

OMG...those are some insane ways to die...geez...whatever happened to natural causes ??? LOL...great post !!!