Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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- Go to I fell for a blogger.........and then he smashed my heart to bits!!!
SilverMoon--
Yay!! --good to hear your "success" story...
posted by
Julia.
on August 9, 2005 at 11:07 AM
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Well...
I had one online lover about ten years ago, and after our only meeting he broke my heart to bits. But I soon took up a real-life lover, and everything was hunky dory after that. Then, about seven years ago, I broke the promise to myself never to take up with an online lover again, and married that one a few months later. It's been a rocky road, but we're still married, and still in love. So, sometimes it works... 
posted by
SilverMoon7
on August 9, 2005 at 8:52 AM
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joe--
that can be true...as long as they aren't trying to seduce someone under false pretenses...
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 10:00 PM
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krisles--
oh...yeah...I see what you mean!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 9:59 PM
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Quirky
We had one incredible night...that was when we realized that it was too dangerous for us....it was meant to be something else entirely.....we are both married and intended to stay that way.....it wasn't a good thing to have happened.
posted by
Krisles
on August 8, 2005 at 7:41 PM
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Ya know, oddly enough,
in some ways I think people are more honest online than not. I mean, online, people usually lose inhabitions.
posted by
Joe_Love
on August 8, 2005 at 7:39 PM
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krisles--
so you never got to meet, then??
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 7:38 PM
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Quirky
I had an extremely intenese online affair...nothing bad at all about it....we ended it because it was too intense....surprised both of us....more than we had expected or knew we were getting ourselves into; make that knew we were susceptible to, so we ended by mutual consent. I can certainly see how easily someone could be duped or misled.
posted by
Krisles
on August 8, 2005 at 7:29 PM
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well...I meant to say "for" free.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 7:22 PM
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JJ--
I think there is a lot of material that might make a good book--many different ways you could take it...heck, you can interview me to free...lol...as if...
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 7:21 PM
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Quirky,
I found my way back.
Those are some very interesting thoughts. I would hope that most people have had them, but I'm sure that a lot of Newbies haven't discovered them yet. It's really kind of an amazing experience in human psycology, this Blogging thing. I'm thinking of doing some research on it for the usual reason that writers do research on things. I have no doubt that some publisher would be interested if enough groundwork were done for a query. A book would be a mountain of work, but there are alternatives. 
JJ
posted by
Jack_Flash
on August 8, 2005 at 7:18 PM
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renigade--
well in that case..."peas" come again...lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 7:06 PM
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Quirk--No sarcasm. I meant it.
posted by
Renigade
on August 8, 2005 at 7:04 PM
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Military Wife--
Hey, you'll get no disagreement from me on that!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:24 PM
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blackcat--
Mrrrrooowww---pfffffttt pfffffttt....I didn't think you would like to share your catnip, you are such a greedy little kitty, lol. Not really, the catnip is ALL FOR YOU!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:22 PM
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Quirky,
Good point, computers can have a advantage. Oh, I put chains on Purr so she can't get to the catnip, hehe so BC take it easy. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 8, 2005 at 6:21 PM
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Quirky
Even with someone real life at times the computer still seems to put a barrier up. It's still a sad replacement for the real thing (for
me, not being critical here)
posted by
Bel_
on August 8, 2005 at 6:17 PM
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Hey... who's trying to swipe my catnip? the claws are out now! LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on August 8, 2005 at 6:17 PM
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Purr Purr you leave that catnip alone, it's for Blackcat!! lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:15 PM
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BrightIrish--
well that's sad--why couldn't they tell that you were sincere if you offered them a written apology??
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:14 PM
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I smell "catnip"!!!!!! Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 8, 2005 at 6:14 PM
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shadow,
Yeah I hear ya. But it's a whole lot easier to hide your "attributes" or non-attributes, behind a computer screen.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:13 PM
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MysticG--
Yes please do, and don't forget to thank me in the credits, lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:11 PM
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Lensman--lol-
Do you really think that will help??
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:11 PM
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kitty cat,
here ya go.
but you have to unwrap it yourself, and pace yourself--only a few whiffs at a time or you'll type funny!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 6:10 PM
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Quirky
Just one more reason to have a Blogit police-style lineup. Bring everyone Downtown and do an ID
posted by
Lensman
on August 8, 2005 at 5:57 PM
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woo hoooooo... pass the catnip! ;)
posted by
-blackcat
on August 8, 2005 at 5:57 PM
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renigade--
I'm sensing a bit of sarcasm there(?)...but thank you!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 5:56 PM
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MayB--
I don't know if that is what Vibrance had in mind, but it makes sense. As for your last comment,
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 5:54 PM
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frankk--
sure, anything is possible--it really just depends on the people involved!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 5:53 PM
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dog1net--
Yes it is!! But why do so many people do it then??
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 5:52 PM
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blackcat--
oh my precious little kitty--you're going to get extra catnip and Pounce treats for that!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 5:50 PM
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Quirky
I met up with a old friend online.. In fact he was my first love. We stayed online friends for almost 4 years.. I had been helping them with a problem and it happened that one day everything in my life was going wrong and they wrote me with the same question that I'd answered a few days before.. To my shame.. I snapped back with.. I answered that, is there something specific you want me to say" Things have never been the same and I'll always regret it.. No human contact..Where they could look in my eyes and see the true sorrow I felt for my unkind words.
posted by
BrightIrish
on August 8, 2005 at 5:50 PM
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Vane--
Yes I think you're right, to a degree that does happen either way.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 5:49 PM
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Quirky,
Yeah, I've been there myself, that you know......enough said. Personally, its all the same to me. Online or face-to-face simply because when people meet, they generally try to hide their little flaws just so you will get reeled in. I have met very few men who were upfront enough on the first date that I can say they were actually honest later in whatever they told you. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on August 8, 2005 at 5:08 PM
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Hi Quirky-Girl
cute and funny. i should write a post about my husbands experience with "pretence"..its hilarious
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on August 8, 2005 at 4:56 PM
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Great post. Your writing was so funny and real.
posted by
Renigade
on August 8, 2005 at 4:52 PM
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I think I understand what Vibrance is saying. You can appreciate someone and feel love for someone without acting on it. I have done that -- in fact given that I am in a stable relationship (well as stable as that can be with a creative person), I often fall for people but do absolutely nothing about it.
Of course maybe Vibrance didn't mean that at all and I do know that I am usually out of sync with everyone when I comment here ;-)
posted by
Azur
on August 8, 2005 at 4:50 PM
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Quirkyalone
You know what, though..I know of a few people who met online and developed
serious good relationships, even from opposite sides of the world..
posted by
frankk
on August 8, 2005 at 4:44 PM
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Presenting yourself contrary to what you are or think or believe is a waste of energy.
posted by
dog1net
on August 8, 2005 at 3:41 PM
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Oh, a misleading headline from you? LOL Noooo, say it ain't so Quirks.
You know I'm kidding... Yeah the online thing is tough. You have to be trusting but also savy to find your way through it. I've heard of great successes and big failures. Glad I don't have to go there myself.
Btw... I got the name of that germ stuff for you. My cousin probably thinks I've finally seen the light. LOL Here you go: http://www.airbornehealth.com/main.html
posted by
-blackcat
on August 8, 2005 at 3:39 PM
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well i'd say it sounds pretty much the same as falling in love in real life to me. Most people fall in love with an ilussion of another person, whether it's online or off. Eventually, when the ilussion ends this love ends too.
posted by
Vanidad
on August 8, 2005 at 3:35 PM
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Okay Vibrance--
would you explain how you can fall in love and not get attached?? Hmmm??
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 2:49 PM
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wiley--
oh gosh I HOPE you aren't any of those things, lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 2:48 PM
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I fall in love all the time
on and off line, and that is a great thing. I just don't get attached, which makes it all better. Love, Vib
posted by
Vibrance
on August 8, 2005 at 2:41 PM
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Quirkyalone
" Far better than being old, bald, obese, impotent, slovenly, morally and/or financially bankrupt,"
Dang, did ya have to describe me sooooooo graphically luv? Sheesh, busted again
.
Terrific blog luv, terrific, and yes, there is a lot to what you say and I am sorry if your heart got busted luv, really. Like my old Jewish landlord used to say with all his wisdom,
"Johnny, ve get too soon oldt and too late schmart."
Luv ya kiddo.
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 8, 2005 at 2:37 PM
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whacky--
so what are you trying to say then, I can't see you!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 2:30 PM
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Alf and Ariala--
Yeah...I agree with those points---but what about the ease in which one can pretend to be 6 feet tall when one is 5'2, or young when one is old, or handsome when facially challenged...you get the idea...seeing someone in person, you can't lie about a LOT of things whereas online, you can...THAT is a huge difference.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 2:29 PM
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It's true
only a small part of comunication is written or verbal. You have to use the other senses to interpret what is relly being said.
posted by
Whacky
on August 8, 2005 at 12:59 PM
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I have to agree totally with A_Norseman
posted by
Ariala
on August 8, 2005 at 12:52 PM
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Personally...I don't see much difference at all between on-line romances or face to face encounters except for one thing...on-line relationships are extremely more prone to mis-understandings, mis-conceptions, and other communication related difficulties. When someone is in front of you and they say something that rubs you the wrong way you can just ask for clarification on the spot instead of stewing over it, eventually coming to wrong conclusions. You also have the benifit of facial expression which can help interpret the intended spirit of what they are saying.
posted by
A_Norseman
on August 8, 2005 at 12:50 PM
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dreyma--
yeah--a little dab will do ya!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 10:41 AM
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I understand!
Online dating can be incredibly fun but incredibly pathetic too!
posted by
Dreyma
on August 8, 2005 at 10:36 AM
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word--
well I got suckered in a coupla times...guess I am older and wiser now, hehe.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 10:30 AM
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Too true....
I haven't had any online romance. A little flirting at one time or another perhaps, but I've been very lucky to find some great net buddies, both male and female.
posted by
word.smith
on August 8, 2005 at 10:14 AM
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dejtemper--
I would need an XL chart for that, to keep everyone straight! Not my kind of game, but whatever floats their boat, I guess.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 9:56 AM
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mmm-w,
yes, it is sad that anyone has to pretend to be someone they are not--online just makes it that much easier, imo. I was emotionally involved, too...but I guess my typical response after the fact is to try to make light of it with humor...
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 9:54 AM
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Quirky -
I know someone who has various online relationships, one for each "mood" they are in. Makes for some interesting stuff, and they don't have to pay any emotional price.
posted by
dejtemper
on August 8, 2005 at 9:50 AM
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quirky~ first off, seldom base movie choices on critics and reviews.... find websites where regular people give their input! thats so much more helpful!
second, i did the online relationship thing once. i fell HARD and it was incredibly emotional. tough stuff. but this was well written and you are so right about the lies and how easy it is to pretend. also quite sad, if you ask me.
posted by
mmm-w
on August 8, 2005 at 9:49 AM
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Ariala--
Oh I LOVE going to the movies but usually have a long list of the ones I want to see. Heck I finally managed to go see Star Wars just last week...how sad am I?
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 9:45 AM
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Dave--
haha...or maybe he will have venetian blinds instead!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 9:44 AM
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frankenkitty--but what do you do if they have your IM address and can "see" that you are online--do ya just ignore 'em??
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 9:43 AM
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Just wait for the DVD unless you like going to movies...I do.
posted by
Ariala
on August 8, 2005 at 9:40 AM
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Quirks, that Romeo might still be out there. And next time he might have more presentable curtains.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on August 8, 2005 at 9:38 AM
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This is funny, although I'm sorry you
were a little hurt. I am notorious for speaking with someone online regularly, then just dissappearing when I get stressed out. Needless to say, I don't have many friends. I don't do it purposely, but I'm a hermit by nature and even more so when I'm stressed out. I guess that's what makes online relationships easy, you can just stop signing on when you're tired or crabby. Anyway, take care
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on August 8, 2005 at 9:27 AM
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just--
well, how can one trust anyone really? A leap of faith maybe. It's difficult if you haven't met in the flesh.
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 8:59 AM
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Ariala--
It hasn't gotten very good reviews though--but you think I should see it now or wait for the dvd?
posted by
Julia.
on August 8, 2005 at 8:58 AM
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Great Quirky, I have wondered how one could trust one!
posted by
Justi
on August 8, 2005 at 8:53 AM
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Quirky, I saw a cute movie this weekend you ought to check out. "Must Love
Dogs..." about Internet relationships.
posted by
Ariala
on August 8, 2005 at 8:51 AM
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