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marshallengraved, I am examining whether I don't like him BECAUSE I am envious or whether I just don't like him. I rairly feel envious.
posted by
Azur
on August 12, 2005 at 4:03 AM
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i think i'd barely admit...
that i envy someone i can't stand
posted by
Marshallengraved
on August 12, 2005 at 3:14 AM
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MayB,
Yes, it's probably both--tho less of envy and more of the arrogance--but it's a good thing you recognize the possibility of envy and admit to it. That's a hard thing to do. As for the arrogance, as long as someone else felt the same way about the guy, then you can be sure your impression wasn't far off the mark! Don't fret over it, Lady May. He's not worth firing up your neural cells over.
posted by
SilverMoon7
on August 12, 2005 at 12:14 AM
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MayB
I forgot the point of my comment. I was not envious, I was perceptive - not to mention long winded and forgetful.
posted by
johnmacnab
on August 11, 2005 at 6:49 PM
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MayB
The same thing happened to me a few years back at a writer's retreat in deepest Norfolk. I admired the television work of the celebrated writer who was looking over everybody's work. The fact that he slagged off my work - even after knowing I was being broadcast on TV and radio - had nothing to do with my feelings that he was an arrogant b. My feelings were shared by everybody else at the retreat. Some people are just like that, I suppose.
posted by
johnmacnab
on August 11, 2005 at 6:42 PM
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MayB, no, I don't think it's envy......just an extraordinarily developed BS detector! Please, Lord, keep me humble is all I ask.....Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity, and ANYONE can get lucky!
~Mama.Dragonfly487
posted by
Mama.Dragonfly
on August 11, 2005 at 3:55 PM
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You seem rather well-grounded to me, Mae,
therefore, I say he's arrogant.
posted by
Joe_Love
on August 11, 2005 at 3:53 PM
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Why not both?
Sometimes we wrinkle our noses because the cheese
is too ripe.
posted by
majroj
on August 11, 2005 at 1:44 PM
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Who's to say whether the person you asked was right or whether there truly was arrogance there. I think it can be a bit of both, actually.
posted by
Julia.
on August 11, 2005 at 9:43 AM
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The thing that rankles about another person's success
is that sometimes they just don't seem to deserve it. It becomes an issue of fairness to that inner child who hasn't accepted that thing about Life Isn't Fair, and that child sets up a hue-and-cry to bring the world's attention to the matter of who deserves what... That's my take on it.
posted by
Ciel
on August 11, 2005 at 9:18 AM
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I have Dave Cryer and I don't like it.
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 7:43 AM
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Probably both, plus a third one: you have perceived your own envy.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on August 11, 2005 at 7:34 AM
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I tend to go with my gut...
....more often than not, I'm right.
posted by
ginnieb
on August 11, 2005 at 7:15 AM
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MayB, you are perceptive, and
maybe feeling down about not achieving some of your goals yet, but you would feel that way if you never met snubby pants. His recent success reminds you that you have not finished these things you have planned, which may frustrate you but it has nothing to do with him as a person. Sometimes, I take my frustration out on unsuspecting jerks. If they patronize me the least bit I bite their heads off(ask renigade3). Maybe it is not the best way to go about things, but as long as you keep focused on your goals than it really isn't that important, right? Take care
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on August 11, 2005 at 7:12 AM
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NCWriter, I think so too Of all the writers I heard at the festival, he was the only one who struck me that way. Some of them were incredibly emminent and made you feel like you could go right up and talk to them. In some cases I did.
But then again, he was the only one I had been acquainted with (very fleetingly) in the past and so I accept that he reminds me of some of the goals I'm yet to reach. I don't worry too much -- but yes because I'm not normally like that it got me thinking
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 6:26 AM
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Military Wife, I have a friend who is a novelist who is not at all like this guy. I have also spoken to the writers who have mentored my significant other and they were like regular people
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 6:21 AM
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Possibly a bit of both?
However, I've met several of the same type of author. Some published authors do get a bit arrogant. They made it, and in their minds, you haven't. It's normal to feel envious of someone publishing, but I really don't get that vibe from you. I don't feel you're the kind of person that would label someone arrogant just because he/she was published. My guess is, he is.
posted by
NCwriter
on August 11, 2005 at 6:21 AM
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Some are arrogant
I have met some who are some who are not. My first writing instructor has several novels published and has sold fairly well. To this day, she still teaches with a passion and makes her students feel as if she is humbled by their talents. I had another instructor who wasn't nearly as well known as the first and I left his class due to his BIG HEAD!
posted by
Bel_
on August 11, 2005 at 6:16 AM
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Cynthia, normally I am not bothered. I don't covet other jobs or people's success. But yes of course I want be the best I can. I think it's because this guy reminds me of what I thought I'd like to be doing. The truth is that if i really wanted to do that I would have done it.
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 6:02 AM
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MayB-Yep it's all just part
of the same game. I constantly do battle with envy/jealousy, it's built in to our competitive nature to be THE BEST!
posted by
Cynthia
on August 11, 2005 at 4:57 AM
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Tweeter65, now I feel a little guilty. He probably is arrogant - yes he was - I just remembered something else. I was probably envious too. It's a shame about your ex-brother-in-law
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:47 AM
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B
I have no respect for arrogance, and I don't care who the person is. People like that (who think they are better than everyone else), must live a lonely life. I have an ex-brother-in-law who is like this, no one, not even my children want to be around him, and he used to be the nicest person. What do you think these types base their opinion of themselves on? I don't see how this man will remain successful, people who are arrogant tend to believe they are all knowing, so how do they grow and learn?
posted by
Tweeter65
on August 11, 2005 at 4:41 AM
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Ca88andra, me too. In this case I should channel that gut feeling into my writing wouldn't you say?
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:28 AM
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I often get impressions of people that are usually true. I find its best to go with your gut feeling about people.
posted by
Ca88andra
on August 11, 2005 at 4:15 AM
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