Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to Is an online community "real" in any way whatsoever??
Yes.
posted by
word.smith
on September 2, 2005 at 10:58 AM
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Oh boy Quirks...
Jimmy probably jumped up and down when he saw this! It's actually part of what he studies in school, and indirectly part of what his PhD thesis will be on....as I understand it. I think it can be a real sense of support for personal and professional ventures. It helped me a lot as I came out of my shell after the accident, and I met some good people online. :) You can feel all the same feelings and emotions, I think, connected to writing and friends and interactions here that you do in the "real" world....but I think the depth of their effect isn't as long lasting unless that particular person has crossed over into your actual world. That's been my experience anyway. If it wasn't real, we wouldn't have soooooo much drama here!
posted by
Temple
on September 2, 2005 at 5:51 AM
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jimmy--
thanks...your explanation seemed complicated at first, but eventually I got it.
posted by
Julia.
on September 1, 2005 at 11:11 AM
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MsVision--
yes, much difference than spoken words that dissipate into thin air once said...written words can be preserved for a long time.
posted by
Julia.
on September 1, 2005 at 11:10 AM
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factor--thanks for the singing smiley..
posted by
Julia.
on September 1, 2005 at 11:09 AM
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Meringe--
That's a good strategy--I wonder why some people can't seem to do that?
posted by
Julia.
on September 1, 2005 at 9:09 AM
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Ca88--
thanks--I agree with you!
posted by
Julia.
on September 1, 2005 at 9:08 AM
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Offbeats--
the politics and religion categories do seem to have the most people who can't "play nice"--
posted by
Julia.
on September 1, 2005 at 9:08 AM
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In the context of Social Theory...
social space is the material underpinnings of human interaction. So, basically, it does not matter whether or not you are interacting face to face or online, the interaction has the same relative social reality. Yes, people can be hurt by our written words...I try to never hurt people here - at least unless they really piss me off by being mean to people I like...
posted by
jimmy68
on September 1, 2005 at 8:14 AM
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sensitivity and respect
This is a really good and important post. You have to take extra care with writing because once its down its there, sometimes forever.
posted by
MsVision
on September 1, 2005 at 6:41 AM
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How about virtual smileys?
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 1, 2005 at 6:40 AM
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Quirky,
I just totally keep off posts that turn me offf, and refrain from commenting.Much better than go into all that virtual bashing!
posted by
Meringue
on September 1, 2005 at 6:28 AM
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Excellent post. We should all remember these points when we write.
posted by
Ca88andra
on September 1, 2005 at 4:19 AM
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Quirky
Words are the most powerful form of communication we have, whether written or spoken. I haven't ever had a bad experience with comments, etc. Typically when I read someone, I try real hard to put myself into their situation. If there are posts I disagree with to the point of anger , I just click off of it..usually it gives me a "feel" for how that person thinks. No need to engage any further, mostly that happens in politics and religion. I just say "don't go there Sally"...it's easier for me too, less stress is best!!
posted by
Offy
on August 31, 2005 at 10:39 PM
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krisles--
I don't like those kinds of things either--they're just not funny.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 9:30 PM
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Rabbit--
thanks for hopping by with your blessings.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 9:29 PM
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kodachrome--
yep--so true. One word: karma.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 9:28 PM
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Quirky
Great post. I'm now going crazy trying to remember some great quote about things said versus written and the indelibility of the written word....it's right on the edge of my memory.....anyway... I think sometimes we get caught up in our own cleverness with words, or in the rush to get our thoughts out there and forget how things might look...but that picture you got - there is no excuse. But, I don't like those gross sick humor photos that are posted all the time around here...of fat women and men...I don't like cruel humor in any form and see no place for making fun of people, I don't care what their problem.....call me too tender hearted, but I just think it's mean......bad karma in the least.
posted by
Krisles
on August 31, 2005 at 9:06 PM
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Jomei--
A very good way to look at it--indeed!
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 9:03 PM
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Lensman--
Yeah...there will always be exceptions in any community.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 8:48 PM
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avant--
ah...that is most interesting...I think you might be right!
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 8:46 PM
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boopster--
so good to hear from you, I'll be praying for you and all of your new orleans friends and family.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 8:46 PM
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communication is a powerful tool...
whether it is oral, written, or visual. What is conveyed is usually something of what is within. It's also so easy to end up with 'crossed wires'.... on the 'wrong day' something can hurt more than it would have otherwise.... Blessings to you
posted by
wiserabbit
on August 31, 2005 at 8:27 PM
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Some people.....
I have come across many people in my life who have lives so depressing that they purposely inflict pain upon others to make themselves feel better. Is it right? Absolutely not. If people were more considerate of others feelings and believed in the old saying "what goes around, comes around" I think the world would be a much better place.
posted by
KODACHROME1970
on August 31, 2005 at 5:40 PM
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Quirky...
I think seeing the sheer volume of support you have got Quirky compared to the one off sicko says a lot. All the comments and encouragement is sort of like a fire and the horrible thing you got sent is just a little chunk of ice that melts with all this warmth. Its a bit of a gooey newagey way of putting it but just thought Id share. There's no point letting something isolated obscure our view of the otherwise wonderful whole right?
posted by
Jomei
on August 31, 2005 at 5:24 PM
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Quirky
I'm pretty sure some hurtful stuff gets said by accident because somebody either hasn't chosen their words carefully or simply hasn't understood that their selection of words might look differently on the screen than it sounded in their mind. On the other hand, to post something like that photo took some planning and work and, because it was a photo, clearly the person would know how it would look at your end. Pretty sad. Pretty sick, too. For the most part, thankfully, Blogit is a community of regular folks with the usual recipe of personalities you'd find in the face-to-face world, except sharing this common interest in writing.
posted by
Lensman
on August 31, 2005 at 3:50 PM
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Medusa--
Sure--there is bound to be exaggeration, simply because it's very easy to do. I think for the most part, everyone here is kind.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:51 PM
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MissMary--
that's what I was trying to explain to Blackcat--writers have a greater ability to maim with our words because we are skilled in manipulating them.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:49 PM
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Bright--
thanks for reading and commenting-- good to see you!
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:48 PM
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JJ--
Yeah I think I'll try that sometime--NOT!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:48 PM
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MayB--
Well I'm glad one of us wrote it--does that mean I have to share half my clicks though? lol. ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:47 PM
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Quirky,
I settle my nerves from blogging by getting in my 1/2 ton truck, rolling up the windows, locking the doors, and practicing
offensive driving for an hour or so. Honking, swearing at the top of my lungs, cutting off other drivers, generally being as much an
offensive driver as possible, and then ducking home by back streets, makes me feel very relieved after a period of blogging. In fact, it leaves me in a very prepared state for another session. Try it.
jj
posted by
Jack_Flash
on August 31, 2005 at 2:42 PM
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QuirkyAlone, it's so strange but this is exactly the post I wanted to write earlier but had not the energy to do. Maybe it was meant that you write it and not me.
posted by
Azur
on August 31, 2005 at 2:38 PM
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Queen--
hey! how come I didn't get the white picket fence around
my blog??
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:27 PM
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MysticG--
right--there ought to be some sort of "delay"--where we are forced to take time to really think about whether we want to make a comment or post, and why...
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:26 PM
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MW--
It may have been meant as a sick joke, by a person who is not of sound mind...I don't really know what their intent was.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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Isa and Merry--
thanks for commenting. I've know what you mean about it being accessible for repeat viewings. At times I've just kept reading and re-reading a comment or post even though it hurt worse with each reading.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:24 PM
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kitty cat--
I didn't really think of it like that, but I suppose it's true--because often writers DO know the power our words can have and we choose to use hurtful ones anyway, as opposed to non-writers who might not really think about just how powerful a weapon words are.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:20 PM
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katray--thanks--
KlaraRoberts always disagreed with me on that point, but I stand by my assertion that it is "real" here.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:18 PM
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MaryAnn and Medusa are right
The written word can be harsher then the spoken word especially when it is wielded by someone with skill...to poke, to wound, to slay into someone with words they've edited and practiced. It’s like that argument you've had where you walk away and say "damn I wish I had said...." In the blogisphere you don't have to send it until you're sure you've got your words just right. Yes, the written can definitely be worse then the spoken.
posted by
MissMary
on August 31, 2005 at 2:17 PM
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so by that theory, writers are more apt to intentionally hurt with their
words than non-writers?
posted by
-blackcat
on August 31, 2005 at 2:17 PM
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red--
I could name a few of those as well...the poster of the pic was deranged, imo...
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:16 PM
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Sandi--
How nice to see you!! I was wondering if I should put out an APB on you...where ya been girl??
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:15 PM
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kitty cat--
because writers are more focused on words and the impact they can have, that being what they do after all (write)--so they have thought more about the ability of words to move people, as well as to hurt them.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:14 PM
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especially non-writers? Why them especially?
I'm just curious....
posted by
-blackcat
on August 31, 2005 at 2:08 PM
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word.smith--
how right you are. When mean words are posted where everyone can read them, the humilation becomes public and more profound.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:05 PM
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Ariala--
I think many people--especially non-writers--forget that words have power to hurt, or don't really realize it until it's often too late..
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:04 PM
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blackcat--
Yes I think
they thought it would be funny, (though no one else here did)...it had a lovely caption to go with it, too.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:02 PM
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jacenta and "hoppy"--
thanks, I appreciate the smile...
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 2:01 PM
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quirky
even a thick-skinned person can be hurt by words. they just don't show it. good post.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 31, 2005 at 1:54 PM
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Real enough for me...
We are all real people who interact, so yes. Hello my cyber-friend!
posted by
bettyboop1967
on August 31, 2005 at 1:15 PM
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A post worth reading, Ms. Quirky.....
Yes, the online community is a real place, but I have this angle, too. As writers, am I sometimes exaggerating what I am writing, because writing comes easy for most of us here. In other words, are we playing with people's emotions because as writers we easily can? Does that make sense? Are thes writers really kind here? I hope so.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on August 31, 2005 at 1:08 PM
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Quirky
Great Post! The tongue or written word can be as lethal as any weapon!
posted by
BrightIrish
on August 31, 2005 at 12:30 PM
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Quirk
I know I'm real...and I live here..... its the two story house house on the blog with the white picket fence around it...yeah, that one.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on August 31, 2005 at 11:59 AM
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Quirky-girl
good post, thoughtful and something everyone should read and remember. we should ask ourselves before we say something hurtful or derogatory to another, why? what are we getting out of being unkind? Does it really make someone feel better to make someone else feel worse? Not me, if i make you feel bad I'm going to feel guilty for doing it...so I think I'll pass 
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on August 31, 2005 at 11:44 AM
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I'm sorry that happened to you Isa,
I honestly believe that we, as a community, have done some harm to bloggers that are here and those who have left because we either were not careful enough ourselves or were not vigilent enough when others have been hurtful here.
posted by
MerryAnne
on August 31, 2005 at 11:27 AM
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Merry Anne..
your comment: "actually written words can be even harsher than spoken ones. After all you usually only have to hear a harsh comment once, but you can reread and reread something written until you torture yourself with it." is actually true...this happened to me...
posted by
Marshallengraved
on August 31, 2005 at 11:21 AM
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Quirky,
actually written words can be even harsher than spoken ones. After all you usually only have to hear a harsh comment once, but you can reread and reread something written until you torture yourself with it.
I have always tried to be cautious with my words, because even though my fellow bloggers are just names on a screen, behind that screen is a real person, with real feelings.
posted by
MerryAnne
on August 31, 2005 at 11:08 AM
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I wish I believed this was a bad joke
Words do wound, even via net.
posted by
Bel_
on August 31, 2005 at 11:04 AM
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Words have to be chosen carefully...
even on the net...one can hurt others even via the net...
posted by
Marshallengraved
on August 31, 2005 at 10:52 AM
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Chilling reminder
The few times I've been dissed and hissed at have hurt, but I always try to consider the source and move on. Not always easy to recover; for some people impossible. And I have been careless at times with my own words; trying also to be more aware. Word.Smith makes a good point too; public lashings can be very painful - so unnecessary and cruel. Yes, on-line communities are real world.
Thought provoking post Quirky.
posted by
Katray2
on August 31, 2005 at 10:51 AM
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Quirky,
The power of the written word over the human mind is relentless. Yes, Blogit is like the real world, if not more real. I think that online relationships can tangle our minds, and hearts, with inspiration and desperation. Some use this forum as predators who stalk their prey though without taking responsibility for their actions. If I wasn't so classy I would name a few. There are those, however who leave lightness and heartfelt warmth wherever they post -- this is truly wonderful. (BTW whoever posted that picture was not only intimidating but simply rude.)
red
posted by
redlunar
on August 31, 2005 at 10:48 AM
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Great post Quirk as you attempt to raise the bar of integrity for all of us. We need to be conscious and accountable. Thanks for reminding me :o) Sandi
posted by
Sandra_Harris
on August 31, 2005 at 10:46 AM
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Quirky, It's just occured to me that mean comments
posted in this forum can do more damage than the spoken word for the mere fact that so many others can see it. Then it's not only disturbing, it can be embarrassing.
posted by
word.smith
on August 31, 2005 at 10:37 AM
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Words are powerful, whether dressed in emotion or reason...sensitivity
can go a long way. Thanks for this post.
posted by
Ariala
on August 31, 2005 at 10:34 AM
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whaaaat? photos of a cut up body?? Was it meant as sick humor?
posted by
-blackcat
on August 31, 2005 at 10:19 AM
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Quirky...words can hurt!
Bringing you a smile!!!!!
Have a great day.
posted by
jacentaOld
on August 31, 2005 at 10:17 AM
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scoop--
Maybe you just wanted to get your point across??
LOL. No problem--computers are silly beasts!
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 10:12 AM
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Scoop--
yes, despicable is a good way to describe it. I wouldn't think you'd ever do something like that no matter how much you might dislike someone.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 10:10 AM
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Quirky sorry
don't know why that comment posted twice
posted by
scoop
on August 31, 2005 at 10:10 AM
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Rame--
thanks. I agree with you on both points. I think misinterpretation occurs more frequently with written words rather than spoken, since we can't see facial expressions, body language or hear a tone of voice.
posted by
Julia.
on August 31, 2005 at 10:09 AM
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RAME also you are right on misinterpretation of something, yesterday
I wrote a comment in Timmytales about the top 10 and I wrote "you may not like it" when I probably should have said "we may not like it", it does make a difference how someone "reads" it.
posted by
scoop
on August 31, 2005 at 10:02 AM
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Quirky I did not know about the cut up body in your comments
that is disgusting. Even if you and I don't see things eye to eye, I would never stoop that low, a name is one thing but getting down and dirty like that is despicable.
posted by
scoop
on August 31, 2005 at 10:00 AM
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Quirky I did not know about the cut up body in your comments
that is disgusting. Even if you and I don't see things eye to eye, I would never stoop that low, a name is one thing but getting down and dirty like that is despicable.
posted by
scoop
on August 31, 2005 at 10:00 AM
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Quirkyalone,
We should all always be mindful of what we say whether it be with our mouths or our fingertips. Even when we are careful, it is easy for others to misinterpret. If we think before we talk or type, we can, at least, minimize misinterpretations. Good blog.
posted by
RAME
on August 31, 2005 at 9:54 AM
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