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Whewwwww!
For a second there I though you were gonna have to floss her ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
posted by
realitytherapy
on October 15, 2005 at 8:57 AM
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Love - Love
reading you...
posted by
Transcendental_Child
on October 14, 2005 at 2:55 PM
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All of this planning and you know what...you'll wake up in the morning and the puppies will have arrived. I bred 2 horses who showed up early in the morning before I awoke. Pleasant surprize.
posted by
ThomasFranklin
on October 14, 2005 at 1:02 PM
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hehehehehe
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 14, 2005 at 12:01 PM
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Joelove
curiosity kills me even if I seem stupid now...who is Monster????
posted by
cosy
on October 13, 2005 at 10:47 AM
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Another great funny story Joe Love
And once again treading that thin line between gross and hysterically funny! You and your monster must be a blast to hang out with...
You do know that we are going to want pictures. (but not of the gross stuff. Well, not me anyway)
posted by
FactorFiction
on October 13, 2005 at 6:01 AM
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Okay, I'm a little grossed out! It all started with the picnic basket idea, and snowballed from there. lol shame on you.
I'm SO glad I wasn't in your shoes.
posted by
SilverMoon7
on October 13, 2005 at 5:34 AM
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Ya know...I spent some of my formative years on a farm.
Watched pigs, cows, horses, cats, rabbits, and dogs give birth. Even helped a time or two. Never, however, did I need to make a trip to Wally World to help it happen. *shaking head* City folk... lol
Nice story as usual...
posted by
Renigade
on October 12, 2005 at 7:39 PM
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Joe
Mother Nature is a wonderful midwife. Just keep the baby inside and make her comfortable. She can take care of the rest
posted by
TissiBlake
on October 12, 2005 at 7:26 PM
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Joe, if your princess wants to go outside...
put her on a leash. Sometimes a first-time mother mistakes contractions for the need to void, and will run off and deposit her offspring in the wrong place. I once had a lady white shepherd named Robert Frost (don't ask) who gave birth to eleven pups of various breeds the first time out (the slut). Which you'd think might be a problem for an animal with only eight nursing spigots. She had the first one on the neighbor's lawn, the next two under my bed, beforeI finally got her into the big old cardboard box with shredded up newspapers which I had introduced a few days earlier, but which she hadn't realized was the best of all mothering beds... She tended to each one she'd dropped in the wrong place as I brought them to her, then the others as they arrived, and except for being exceptionally hungry and thirsty for the next six weeks, came through the whole experience with flying colors. Don't worry. It's pretty much a well-established instinctive thing, and your princess will figure out what to do.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 12, 2005 at 2:49 PM
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Boy, Joe...I'm sure learning a lot about the animal birthing process...
I never knew it was that complicated. I figured you just pop the dog into a cardboard box and let her have her babies....I can't wait for you and the Monster to name one of the pups...Li'l Medusa. hahaha..That would be the diva puppy of the litter, the sweet li'l brat...I'm enjoy the birthing process of Sierra. This reads smoothly and with a healthy dose of humor and wit.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on October 12, 2005 at 8:21 AM
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Floss? Reminds me of the dentist!
I'm waiting to read on!
posted by
Straightforward
on October 12, 2005 at 2:57 AM
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Joe_Love, you deserve some kind of special award for endurance after reading about 52 of my blog posts all in one evening and commenting on every one of them. Thanks for all of your neat comments.
posted by
TAPS.
on October 12, 2005 at 12:21 AM
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>:-} well, have the little bundles of cannine joy arrived yet?
posted by
wiserabbit
on October 11, 2005 at 6:42 PM
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Joe_Love,
Best regards to your pregnant princess. You will be ok too, I am sure of it! ha-ha
posted by
jacentaOld
on October 11, 2005 at 6:37 PM
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Hiya Joe
Just dropping by to say hello. I've been too busy to check in. Glad your life is full of adventures as always...
Boop
posted by
bettyboop1967
on October 11, 2005 at 6:33 PM
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He got you good with that one!
I like how you wrote that. I bet he paused right there because he knew what he said would gross you out.  |
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posted by
word.smith
on October 11, 2005 at 1:51 PM
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Ya know, I'm gone for a month and when I return, I think, I'll go read what Joe has to say while I eat my lunch. The chili was good going down...I just hope it stays there.
And puppy milk formula? I am so naive.
posted by
mhickory
on October 11, 2005 at 12:07 PM
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Well, I'm hooked.
Your fans are waiting for puppy news!
good luck
posted by
curator
on October 11, 2005 at 10:55 AM
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Joe Love...I just love you. I just love the way you speak about your
loved ones. And the dental floss.........LMAO......come on already....quench our thirst here. Did she deliver safely? You bugger. You tease!
posted by
Masky
on October 11, 2005 at 8:00 AM
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That ending may be the best thing I've read anywhere, all month!
Hilarious, Joe!
posted by
strat
on October 11, 2005 at 6:34 AM
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Once again I nearly wet myself while laughing!
posted by
Ca88andra
on October 11, 2005 at 2:43 AM
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Those responsible for the killings in Iraq are Jacque Chirac of France and the former German Chancellor, Moboutou Schroeder. As concerns those who hate Bush whom you suggest have not log on my blog yet, there will really find it difficult to chances for rebuttal, for I do try to bring proves to back up my claims. Thank you very much for reading.
posted by
Flame-thrower
on October 11, 2005 at 1:28 AM
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(^_^)
Oh, that was so great! I loved it.
posted by
Critter_and_Josh
on October 11, 2005 at 12:56 AM
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LOL Minty fresh!
I think the un flavored would work just as well. Good luck to you! I know all will be well.
posted by
Whacky
on October 11, 2005 at 12:48 AM
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Joe
I love you two! Honest dogs have been having pups for millions of years without the purchases from Walmart and certainly without dental floss! LOL!
You are the epitomy of a nervous father to be (even if you are the Grandparent). I'll have to tell the cat that wasn't pregnant having kittens in my livingroom story someday.
So, how many babies do we have? Are you going to post pics for us?
posted by
Bel_
on October 10, 2005 at 9:53 PM
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haha, Krisles
I'm soooo glad you found that funny. Cause, that is sooooooo nasty--the thought of somebody packing up food in a basket that a dog had puppies in. LOLOL
posted by
Joe_Love
on October 10, 2005 at 9:52 PM
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Joe
The flossing bit was probably the funniest to lots of folks who read this post....and it was one of many gems, as you always slide like an Easter egg hunt....I loved the mocked cool headedness, too...but the absolute best, the one that made me spew milk all over my laptop...Spitfire got me the other night, must stop drinking milk while reading posts...was this one, must be because I live in Texas: It is my understanding that picnic baskets are popular items to Hispanic yard sale buyers. That was sooooo funny....on Sunday afternoons in West Texas, any city park will be filled with migrant farm worker families laughing, children running everywhere, picnic baskets on tables ...enjoying a day off....
posted by
Krisles
on October 10, 2005 at 9:44 PM
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Joe...
Thank God for that last sentence. My living room was beginning to rotate, too...haha....
I've been present for the birthing of pups on two occasions. The first time it was four pups, the second time it was 11. (Two different dogs, mind you) Really an interesting experience. The mothers tend to do a lot of cleaning up, too. They're pretty efficient. I guess it's the equivalent of diaper changing.
Looking forward to part 3...
posted by
Lensman
on October 10, 2005 at 9:26 PM
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JoeLove...
I am really aanxious to know about the babies and how you and monster hold up!
posted by
BrightIrish
on October 10, 2005 at 8:06 PM
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I just want to know if you and the Monster pass out cigars after the big arrival.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on October 10, 2005 at 8:02 PM
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Oh, JOE!!
Of all times to be a single, childless, 43-year-old with a neutered tomcat!!
posted by
Georgia
on October 10, 2005 at 7:42 PM
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Goodness, OFFBEATS, if you didn't eat yours what did you do with it? HAHAHAHA
posted by
TAPS.
on October 10, 2005 at 7:39 PM
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JoeLove
O Gawd, babies! I am not real sure of this, but I think humans are the only ones that doesn't eat their after birth, if they do, I have never heard about it! Now let us know when the babies get there!!! Good luck!
posted by
Offy
on October 10, 2005 at 7:37 PM
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Joe_Love, would you believe that although I've seen many babies born, I've never been with an animal at birthing. I hope you are going to tell us that everything comes out all right (no pun intended).
posted by
TAPS.
on October 10, 2005 at 7:35 PM
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I remember watching my poodle consume that delicacy years ago
Ick! Grossed me out, lol. Needless to say I didn't even brush her teeth afterwards. She did drink lots of water. I avoided her kisses for quite some time too, if memory serves. Looking forward to the big moment JoeLove!
posted by
Katray2
on October 10, 2005 at 7:30 PM
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Joe,
Actually allowing mom to eat at least one of the afterbirths helps trigger milk production as in my experience. It won't hurt her. Dogs in the wild will eat all the afterbirth just to keep the smell from bringing on predators. Its full of protein and will help give her strength. Of course I was taught birthing by old-timers. Most Vets now think its not necessary. Its your choice. Odds are she won't stay with the basket. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on October 10, 2005 at 7:21 PM
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i usually floss my dog's teeth after it eats its own filth
afterbirth shouldn't be any different.
posted by
mikebrown
on October 10, 2005 at 6:47 PM
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Joe, Joe, Joe....
Yet another cliffhanger!!!!!!!! You're up to something more with that minty fresh dental floss than tying off umbilical cords aren't you? You devil, you !!!
The suspence is killing me !!!
posted by
Jaxson-Pete
on October 10, 2005 at 4:41 PM
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