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MayB
You would have probably think there were much better places to apply your time. *grin*
posted by
Joe_Love
on November 13, 2005 at 8:16 PM
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You mean not being saintly? Who said all the saints were "nice"?
And remember, picturs of the angels often depict them carrying swords
posted by
majroj
on November 8, 2005 at 11:06 AM
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Majroj, hmmm. so I have failed totally
posted by
Azur
on November 6, 2005 at 12:54 AM
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10-4, MayB.
It can be sort of like when fans keep popping up to express thier condolences to Carly Simon about her divorce from James Taylor, about 20 years afterwards?
And, when you go through someting like cancer or someting else traumatic, you are supposed to become a saint, right?
posted by
majroj
on November 5, 2005 at 9:51 PM
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I can completely understand not wanting to tell more people than
necessary.
posted by
-blackcat
on November 5, 2005 at 7:07 PM
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Ca88andra, it's good that she can talk about it although I expect she has times when she wants to talk about anything else. Sometimes hugs are better
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 6:05 PM
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One of my work mates has cancer and goes for weekly chemo. She doesn't mind talking about it and always makes me laugh with some of her hospital descriptions. Sometimes though I just give her a hug.
posted by
Ca88andra
on November 5, 2005 at 6:02 PM
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QuirkyAlone, thanks. I think word.smith identified THE phrase in this one.
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 6:01 PM
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BlancheDubois, that's exactly it. People still lean in towards me at times and conspiratorially ask, "and how ARE YOU?", "No more problems?" It makes me want to say "leave me alone". But I will probably remain polite whenever they ask. I know they mean well but it's also like that's the only interesting thing about me
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 6:01 PM
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CarolynMoe, yes life is too short to give a subtext all the time
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:52 PM
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MayB--
The subject of this post is not something I can relate to very well, but this was really thought-provoking and poignantly written. thinking of you.
posted by
Julia.
on November 5, 2005 at 5:51 PM
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This was for Majroj
Even though you did not talk it about directly with him I am sure that you must have helped him. Too many people pump people for info for vicarious reasons
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:48 PM
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Mayb,
I understand the need for normalcy in an abormal situation. I remember hearing about a woman, who I didn't know well, but she was like a mentor/mother figure to my boss, saying after years of battling breast cancer "I choose to be among the living". Meaning she didn't want to focus on it or talk about it anymore. It's a tough call.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 5, 2005 at 5:48 PM
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Even though you did not talk it about directly with him I am sure that you must have helped him. Too many people pump people for info for vicarious reasons
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:45 PM
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Frankenkitty, I agree but sometimes it's not easy. In some cases such as mine if you ask them wht caused it they just shrug
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:43 PM
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Word.smith, thank you.
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:41 PM
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Katray, it's true that some people talk about it more. I blabbed a lot - when it suited me
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:40 PM
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Ariala, thanks for your comment. We'll have to disagree about my last paragraph - it was something I needed to say.
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:39 PM
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Marshallengraved, thanks I always try to have a good weekend. You too
posted by
Azur
on November 5, 2005 at 5:35 PM
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When I recently had a mere biopsy for endrometrial cancer, it illicited sympathy, "oh, Carolyn..." suffice it to say I thankfully proved to be benign... I think I'd keep quiet about any major illness as well,... like I'm finally learning to do with my Bi-Polar Disorder... who understands that?...
posted by
cmoe
on November 5, 2005 at 1:23 PM
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I lost a valued colleague about twelve years ago.
A fast form of cancer, and (as a physician) he didn't go in for heroic last ditch measures which would have left him with prolonged agony and wasted months..or weeks.
I wanted to talk to him about it, I didn't know how, he didn't bring it up...so I didn't. I treated him much as I had before, supported him behind the scenes as much as possible, and treated it as just another condition like a rash or fallen arches.
I think I inadvertantly did the best thing I could. He didn't need to be a patient there, too, he needed to still be the deputy commander and the courtly yet powerful man, physician and aviator I had known and had the true honor to serve with.
posted by
majroj
on November 5, 2005 at 11:06 AM
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This was sad. I hate to even
type the word. It is the second leading cause of death in the US behind heart disease. I would like to see more progress towards a cure for cancer in this world. Take care
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on November 5, 2005 at 8:03 AM
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MayB,
The following sentences struck a deep chord with me:
At that time I knew about priorities and what was of no consequence. Sadly that feeling soon disappears and we soon return to a normal state somewhat closer to foolishness than wisdom.
It is so hard to stay focused on the things that really matter in the short life that we have. It just take things going well for us to lose our focus and start dashing around wildly in all directions, forgetting the things that really come first. Those are God and family in my book. Unfortunately, they do not always take that order and I allow life's worries to clutter up my time and mind.
posted by
word.smith
on November 5, 2005 at 7:03 AM
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MayB, I am always so glad to hear survivor stories and to know that there really are some who do. Those closest to me with cancer did not. I think because of that, if it ever happened to me, I would only want to tell those who absolutely had a reason to know.
posted by
TAPS.
on November 5, 2005 at 6:53 AM
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I've seen different reactions
from friends and family who have cancer. Some seem to need to talk about it, at times almost constantly; maybe seeking reassurances or they're attempting to figure out their particular situation - are they making the right decisions about treatment, surgeries, etc. Others keep silent about the subject. And I understand that also; too much concern can start to feel like pity.
Moving post May; glad you are doing well.
posted by
Katray2
on November 5, 2005 at 4:37 AM
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That was a very good post and touching...I think it brave that this man, as
well as you when you had cancer, chose to continue to do those things you enjoyed. Some things are best not discussed openly because they attract pity and attention one doesn't need.
I loved your post, but felt the last paragraph was unnecessary. I think it might put some bloggers on the defensive, even if you're not talking about them. My two cents worth.
posted by
Ariala
on November 5, 2005 at 3:17 AM
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just stopping by...
to say hello...wishing you a good weekend:)
posted by
Marshallengraved
on November 4, 2005 at 11:49 PM
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