Comments on 2 (Extremely Offensive) Dirty Filthy Jokes

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The old hag likes to play with tennis balls.

posted by adventurer02 on August 17, 2015 at 12:39 AM | link to this | reply

I've never seen "Logan's Run" ...

however, I have seen "The Running Man" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Which includes the most under-appreciated of all the governor's great lines:

After killing the fat "electric-powered" assassin, Arnold mumbles,

"Lights out, Christmas Tree."

You have to hear him say it, though ... trust me, it's hilarious.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 13, 2006 at 10:02 AM | link to this | reply

Movie

Being killed off at 30 - wasn't that Logan's Run?

Set in the future where the government tells everyone they have to 'renew' at 30, but in fact they're secretly just exterminated because of increasingly scarce resources etc.

Book was far better than the film, although the print version doesn't have Jenny Agutter stripping off...

posted by Southpaw296 on February 13, 2006 at 9:06 AM | link to this | reply

I said:
I meant because I am sick!  Had nothing to do with my self-imposed "age limit".

posted by Mademoiselle on February 13, 2006 at 12:34 AM | link to this | reply

don't think I have that font.

posted by Jack_Flash on February 13, 2006 at 12:26 AM | link to this | reply

beто было сверхсчетно...
Я намеревался потому что я больн!

posted by Mademoiselle on February 13, 2006 at 12:11 AM | link to this | reply

MPO,
Excuse me for coming back, but you aren't half-dead.  If you are planning on 30, you are now 2/3 dead.  (that's rounded to a whole number, as you can see.)    jack

posted by Jack_Flash on February 12, 2006 at 11:45 PM | link to this | reply

posted by anglofinspirtion on February 12, 2006 at 11:34 PM | link to this | reply

Btw, I've changed my mind on that philosophy...

I  mean, what was I thinking?  30 ... that's ridiculous!

I'll never make it.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 11:32 PM | link to this | reply

I was referring to your previous comment...
God, I'm slow when I'm half-dead.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 11:29 PM | link to this | reply

I suppose so, Jack...
I'm surprised there are a number of people here who actually like that joke.  I thought it would be considered too mean-spirited.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 11:28 PM | link to this | reply

MPO!
Not going to live past 30?  That sounds like boomer talk to me.  There was ''don't trust anyone over thirty'' too.  I don't know what it is now.  I would guess ''don't trust anyone over 90,'' or maybe ''don't trust anyone under 50.''  Or maybe, ''aahhh FUCK!  What happened?''
     

posted by Jack_Flash on February 12, 2006 at 11:26 PM | link to this | reply

MPO,
Pretty smart doc.
Now the guy is going to think how lucky he is that she's dead.

posted by Jack_Flash on February 12, 2006 at 11:13 PM | link to this | reply

Yep, M.P.O. the eye sees what it is supposed to, huh?

posted by anglofinspirtion on February 12, 2006 at 11:05 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you, Saul...

That joke actually got me banned from a writer's forum last year.

Well, that and referring to the moderator as a "backwoods retard".

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 10:40 PM | link to this | reply

Loved that second joke, M.P.O.

posted by saul_relative on February 12, 2006 at 10:37 PM | link to this | reply

Glad you enjoyed it, anglofinspirtion...

You know, prior to spelling your username right now, I had always thought it was "angelofinspiration" ... isn't that weird?

 

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 10:27 PM | link to this | reply

Billy, you do know I'm a girl, right?
So it's "Chick, you gotta live..."

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 10:24 PM | link to this | reply

She's dead! That was funny! Hahahaha!

posted by anglofinspirtion on February 12, 2006 at 9:21 PM | link to this | reply

MPO...dude you oughta live...its good (even in my tortured state of affairs

posted by FreeManWalking on February 12, 2006 at 9:15 PM | link to this | reply

What was it called, Bunny?
"Live Fast & Die Young"?

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 7:51 PM | link to this | reply

I'm sure that's not true, Southpaw296...

My comments always seem to come off sounding so shallow ... I'm really not though.

I swear.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 7:50 PM | link to this | reply

Don't worry, A...
this isn't going to suddenly become some sort of "joke blog" or anything ... merely mixing things up a bit because I didn't have time to do a more "traditional" post today.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 7:48 PM | link to this | reply

Gubby:

Nope. 

Besides, you know you want to.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 7:46 PM | link to this | reply

I suppose I have nine years (+) to reconsider, fionajean ...

As far as your question (concerning freelancing), I would strongly recommend (at least considering) this service:

http://market2editors.com/

Btw, before anyone asks, I have NO connection whatsoever to Ms. Faron or her company.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 7:44 PM | link to this | reply

From Bunny to M.P.O.
> As to your question, I honestly don't plan to live past 30.

There was a movie about that!

posted by Bunny on February 12, 2006 at 3:13 PM | link to this | reply

Life Doesn't Begin...
Well, I've gone 44 years of being horribly unattractive, so I guess it's a little late in the day for me to start thinking of any such drastic action about it now...

posted by Southpaw296 on February 12, 2006 at 2:42 PM | link to this | reply

Both jokes have surprising, twisted endings.

(A)

posted by A-and-B on February 12, 2006 at 2:14 PM | link to this | reply

Well, you got your click out of me. You happy?

posted by Gubby on February 12, 2006 at 10:17 AM | link to this | reply

Hi there
Amusing. I'm quite intriqued by the dead by 30 thing. I suspect you may change your mind when you hit 30. (When I was 20, I thought 30 was old, now that I'm 30, I don't look at it that way - but then, I don't feel thirty). I'm so jealous - I'm trying to break into the freelance writing business. I'd love to do it full-time. I've had some success but it's slow..... Any suggestions?

posted by fionajean on February 12, 2006 at 10:15 AM | link to this | reply

You're lucky, Capt. G...

it's much different for men.

For example, look at Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Sean Connery, Richard Gere, George Clooney or Clint Eastwood ... just to name six.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 9:27 AM | link to this | reply

By dying, curator.

The only caveat being that both my aunt and my mother are still considered attractive (even at their "advanced ages") ... so, maybe, there's hope for me, as well.

Though, I'm not sure that's a risk I'm willing to take.

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 9:24 AM | link to this | reply

Yikes
I hope I live a bit longer than that...I would only have about a year and a half left!  And I don't even have my Lamborghini yet that I said I would own. 

posted by Captain_Gulliver on February 12, 2006 at 9:19 AM | link to this | reply

I got sucked in by the jokes....
and now I'm all curious about this not-living-past-30 thing.  How ya going to manage that?

posted by curator on February 12, 2006 at 9:18 AM | link to this | reply

No problem, man.
As to your question, I honestly don't plan to live past 30. 

posted by Mademoiselle on February 12, 2006 at 9:17 AM | link to this | reply

what kind of old person do you want to be?

The question begs to be asked after such a joke, what kind of old geezer do you want to be when you are shriveled up and looking like a prune? 

By the way, MPO, thanks for the recomendation you gave me on Wendy's site.  I was working with her yesterday on her original story, but I don' t know if she has read my work yet.   

posted by Captain_Gulliver on February 12, 2006 at 9:08 AM | link to this | reply