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My .02
Whim made some good points.........I think the biggest difference is that with men sex is physical and with women it's emotional. That doesn't mean men have no emotional attachment with it, but it's more of a physical thing with them, so it doesn't really matter if they're stressed or pissed or sad......that doesn't affect their need/desire the way it does with a woman. And both sexes don't get that it's different for the other one. If you always look at things from your own perspective then you will step on peoples toes without realizing it. Some men have little or no ability to see things from another persons point of view, and that makes them difficult to have a relationship with. I guess some women are like that too, but since I don't have romantic relationships with women I don't pay attention to that. You have to decide whether or not you can live like that, with someone who has no concept of how other people feel.....because it's not something that goes away, if they're like that now, they will be like that later. I'm not saying he's like that, I don't know him.......but if he is like that in ways that are difficult for you to accept don't think that he's gonna learn to be different or he's gonna change or anything......he's already an adult, this is the way he's gonna be, and the way your relationship is gonna be.
posted by
desertsong
on September 5, 2003 at 9:44 AM
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as for my bf and conflict ..... My boyfriend has always been that way with absolutely anything. He can tell you exactly how you make him feel but he doesn't neccesarily have the concept of how other people feel ..or what part he plays in that. It's just the way he is. It's interesting to watch sometimes. I was over there tonight and his mother was quite stressed out and upset about his younger brother ....she asked him about dinner ..and he asked her to make him stuff ..and then asked her for something better ..and was just ...oblivious to the point that she might be upset and might need him to take care of himself at that moment ..and just allow her some peace. It's probably the one thing that he and I are complete opposites on. I can feel anything that anybody else if feeling. He has no sense of other peoples feelings ..just his own.
posted by
Okie
on September 3, 2003 at 6:17 PM
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hmmm
yeah ..I agree on most of it
posted by
Okie
on September 3, 2003 at 6:14 PM
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Afraid they can
In my experience, men can be annoying, disagreeable, and sometimes down right rude and still expect you to be up for sex an hour later. At least in some cases, they don't see how one thing has nothing to do with the other. In others, they are able to forgive and forget a lot quicker than we may be able to. The tiff is already in the past for them.
The best way to really piss off someone who is looking for an argument is not to arge. If that doesn't work, the next best line of defense is to keep your cool and use logic. Again, it is hard to argue with someone who isn't emotionally invested in the act.
True, romances can be rollercoasters, but some people don't like rollercoasters. If your bf is one of these people, this may not be the relationship for him. And, by creating some of the conflict and denying it, that could be his subconscious way of telling you that.
posted by
Whim
on September 3, 2003 at 4:43 AM
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