Go to Scriber's Night Game
- Add a comment
- Go to Who Dat?...
there's a hip hop culture? lol.
posted by
scriber
on May 24, 2006 at 1:28 PM
| link to this | reply
please...
if you don't respect rap music and hip hop culture, please don't post in my blog...i find your comment disrespectful and i will remove it.
posted by
Marshallengraved
on May 24, 2006 at 9:24 AM
| link to this | reply
well written
very interesting
posted by
Dolphinlover78
on May 23, 2006 at 3:07 PM
| link to this | reply
TallAndSkinnyPoet--thanks. I agree there is a little water in the poem, so
to speak. It could be edited closely.
posted by
scriber
on May 23, 2006 at 3:02 PM
| link to this | reply
A-and-B --thanks. how to write poetry or anything, i believe, is: rely on
experience, be widely read (which I know you two are), and as I have said before, rewrite a lot. lol.
posted by
scriber
on May 23, 2006 at 2:58 PM
| link to this | reply
Terrific Lines, Terrific Word Choice
+ it's something I can relate to. I think a lot of us do the mental version of standing in the middle of the hall and not being able to move due to thinking about all the decisions we could make at that moment and all the ramifications thereof. A slight critique is that maybe the poem is about 10 lines too long, but on the other hand I really liked the last line. And take those comments about the grammatical errors as a compliment - people like your work and want to get the full effect!
One of the best poems I've read in awhile. 
, --Shawn, "Tall and Skinny Poet"
posted by
TallAndSkinnyPoet
on May 23, 2006 at 2:41 PM
| link to this | reply
10 more for the telephone line poem. How do I learn to write so fine stories? Thanks for your writing contribution.
(B)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 23, 2006 at 2:07 PM
| link to this | reply
Who's that indeed? She must be really something! Lol.
(B)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 23, 2006 at 1:09 PM
| link to this | reply
MandaLee--thanks much.
posted by
scriber
on May 23, 2006 at 1:09 PM
| link to this | reply
NAJWA--thanks for commenting. best.
posted by
scriber
on May 23, 2006 at 1:08 PM
| link to this | reply
shylow--thanks.
posted by
scriber
on May 23, 2006 at 1:07 PM
| link to this | reply
Mademoiselle--the red actually is where typos are corrected. lol. thanks.
posted by
scriber
on May 23, 2006 at 12:32 PM
| link to this | reply
Wait ...
why is only the "t" red in the word "that"?
Is that just a typo?
I picked up my bag, I went lookin' for a place to hide;
When I saw Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on, let's go downtown."
She said, "I gotta go, but my friend can stick around."
posted by
Mademoiselle
on May 23, 2006 at 10:28 AM
| link to this | reply
nice. reminds me of someone i know. great work as usual.
posted by
shylow
on May 23, 2006 at 10:09 AM
| link to this | reply
Double wonder
posted by
NAJWA
on May 23, 2006 at 9:41 AM
| link to this | reply
You write well.
Vivid imagery.
posted by
Amanda__
on May 23, 2006 at 9:40 AM
| link to this | reply