Go to Marie-Claire
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- Go to Haiku to you too you know who. Don't mind if I try?
Ca alors! bon je vais essayer!
I'll have a go but give me time. I've been working all day, actually watching video with the kids at school, dur dur (tough) as the French would say.Be patient it is coming. Soon.
posted by
marieclaire66
on June 27, 2006 at 12:13 AM
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By the way! I would love to see these in French? Sil Vou Plait?
posted by
swftfox
on June 26, 2006 at 10:31 PM
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Lets see if I can do this myself! Its 12:30 in the morning!
Rad i ant sun flow er (6)
Look ing sun wards beg ging for (7)
A sweet saf fron kiss. (5) (lose the puncuation except for commas or question marks, not sure this is a hard, fast rule, but I do it!)
Gold en trea sure (4)
Will you be my sun (5)
glow ing bright er still? (5) (the question mark is O.K.)
posted by
swftfox
on June 26, 2006 at 10:30 PM
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Thanks for your encouraging comments.
Can you tell me where I counted wrong. I have a bit of trouble with this, one I can't count... and two, the syllables are counted differently in French, we divide the words in a different way, and it is hard for me to understand how it works in English. So I would be grateful for any helpful hint or advice. It is the technical side that irks me, as much as anything. As you know I am not short of ideas, but some things still elude me. Well I am glad you liked it anyway but I do want to get it right, and fix the "problem" bu tell me where it is first.
posted by
marieclaire66
on June 26, 2006 at 12:28 PM
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Well, done Marie Claire! I am excited to think I have been an
inspiration! hahaha! I love it! Keep writing. One little note of information. These are very good, however, if you intend to write "traditional" haiku (some people don't) watch your syllable count.....always 5-7-5. Wonderful start, lets see more!
posted by
swftfox
on June 26, 2006 at 6:13 AM
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Swftfox is the one who did the SUNFLOWER TRIPLE HAIKU
But I loved your series--just loved them. "Saffron kiss" and "gold [sunflowers] in my pocket" are so original, so beautiful. I almost envy your talent with this form. Congrats and haiku-onnnnn! YPUN
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on June 26, 2006 at 5:33 AM
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