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Terrific Ending
May it gently move you to that better place. You're very open, which makes me really feel that you're heading in the right direction (+ it makes you a very good poet). If I may, I might suggest thinking of a specific incidence in your life that demonstrates this direction so that you're showing more than telling, but even so, this is all very strong. You create a terrific sense of cadence with the bold-faced words in the beginning, for example.
Whatever happens, keep writing. You're onto something. 
--Shawn, "Tall & Skinny Poet"
posted by
TallAndSkinnyPoet
on August 8, 2006 at 3:00 PM
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Your experience of utmost pain and torment is turned into a message of encouragement. To suffer through horror and to give courage through the example of the way you face the future is the beauty of an elevated soul. Thank you. 
posted by
syzygy
on August 8, 2006 at 1:33 PM
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