Go to Marie-Claire
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- Go to a fish tale.
this is rough and unpolished babble pure figment of my imagination.
a little clumsy, granted, but you have to give me 10 out 10 for imagination. If you can't be good be different, be funny and hide the mistakes.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 14, 2006 at 4:28 AM
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thank you so much.
love the smell!
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 14, 2006 at 4:25 AM
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Ah Marie! Such a lovely tail you tell! Me thinks in light of your days mood
I should brighten you up a bit! Here for your enjoyment and to show I care:
posted by
swftfox
on August 13, 2006 at 6:51 PM
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thank you everyone.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 13, 2006 at 3:49 PM
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Mneme and Jazwolf enjoyed this imaginative piece, so why shouldn't I? Kudos
for using the raw materials (fish, mermaid) and spinning (or spawning) something fun and highly readable.
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on August 13, 2006 at 3:45 PM
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Marie-Claire--- I'm operating on no sleep here (see my possibly incoherent
post about that), so keep that in mind. A sleep deprivation high, if you will. What I like best about your poems are the ideas behind them, like this one, a mermaid party. Also, in addition to fish, I have a thing for mermaids! No kidding. I even have a Barbie mermaid sitting on my file cabinet, and a Marge Simpson mermaid fishing lure, as well as a Mermaid from Mexico with breasts that open up to reveal mirrors, and, oh yes, a stained glass mermaid, and an Avon bottle mermaid. I warned you. Oh, yeah, and a black shirt with a redhead mermaid that I bought in the French Quarter of New Orleans.
Anyway, back to the point. I believe that your ideas and the imagery that you create from those ideas are your strengths, along with writing every day (you are doing that, right. The flow (rhythm) does need work sometimes, as does length, but it's much easier to make long shorter than short longer. So, I wouldn't worry about the latter. Just keep doing what you're doing and maybe work on rhythm--- and I realize that difficult for you with English as a second. What you are doing, despite that, I think, is remarkable.
I liked the imagery in this poem. But you knew that.
posted by
Jazwolf
on August 13, 2006 at 7:23 AM
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Just about to write back and then get off to bed.
posted by
mneme
on August 13, 2006 at 4:11 AM
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mneme, thanks for your email hope life is looking up.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 13, 2006 at 4:09 AM
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yeah it was really fun to write.
I had no idea what I was going to write about, but you can just tap into any everyday event and allow your imagination to transform them. I have to get my mind to cooperate, find a key to inspiration, it is there I know it.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 13, 2006 at 4:09 AM
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No you are not crazy
and this was fun to read. Something new to try...
posted by
mneme
on August 13, 2006 at 4:00 AM
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