Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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- Go to Coming "HOME"—Am I Ready Now, to Embrace the Pain?
One good truth about the passage of time - It carries winds of wisdom
not felt in any other dimension. Wishing you light and freedom on your journey Julia.
posted by
Katray2
on August 26, 2006 at 1:52 PM
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avant--
I won't say I believe it is the whole reason, but certainly I see now that it's a part of the decision to come back here.
posted by
Julia.
on August 26, 2006 at 1:21 PM
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justi--
thanks very much for your comment, and your prayers are much appreciated.
posted by
Julia.
on August 26, 2006 at 1:20 PM
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Julia
I think that this is the reason for your coming home. I wish you the best with all that you embrace. Maybe it is the very thing you need to heal.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 26, 2006 at 4:15 AM
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Julia I shall change my prayer from Ariala to you, I read the post and
still I wrote to Ariala. I can assure you it will not be me fdoing the work of the prayers but He who will not make all the mess ups I always make. God bless you dear one.
posted by
Justi
on August 25, 2006 at 1:42 PM
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Ariala rather you will begin the road back to your full freedom.
posted by
Justi
on August 25, 2006 at 1:39 PM
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Ariala, I will pray for you. You will receive your freedom from identifying
the past that has to be purged. God bless you.
posted by
Justi
on August 25, 2006 at 1:38 PM
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Ariala--
it's a big adjustment for us all, but we are managing to stay (somewhat) sane. lol. thanks for stopping by.
posted by
Julia.
on August 25, 2006 at 1:35 PM
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Bhaskar--
I hope you are right! Thank you for coming by.
posted by
Julia.
on August 25, 2006 at 7:21 AM
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Julia, that's a really good quote and so true...hope all is well with you
and the kitties.
posted by
Ariala
on August 25, 2006 at 7:20 AM
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Whacky--
I will, thanks!
posted by
Julia.
on August 25, 2006 at 7:20 AM
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Rumored--
thanks very much.
posted by
Julia.
on August 25, 2006 at 7:19 AM
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Julia, Time will tell that you are right...perfectly right.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on August 25, 2006 at 2:49 AM
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You have already taken that first sip. It won't be easy,
but when it is over you will feel better. Go slow...take care.
posted by
Whacky
on August 24, 2006 at 11:29 PM
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Julai, saying something like "good luck" seems trite, and luck is not the
right word at all..instead, as you've said, it's all in God's timing, so may He go with you..
...
posted by
Rumor
on August 24, 2006 at 9:01 PM
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blanche--
I too think they were necessary. I'm a firm believer in divine timing, and try to remember that belief when something seems to be taking a lot longer than I think it should. I hope you do get to have that relationship with your Mom.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:27 PM
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Julia., I have been out and about in the world for about 30 years as well
I do have others to talk to, but it's more opening up and being able to talk to my mother, and have that relationship that I meant.
I think all those years away were necessary, for me, to give me distance and perspective, and something to draw from when I approach our relationship.
posted by
Blanche.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:19 PM
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shelly--
thanks for the rose and for stopping by.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:17 PM
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blanche--
I understand, and sympathize with you. It has taken me 30 years to get to this point; I imagine that all those years my Mom felt somewhat like you do now, desperately wanting to talk but having no one who was willing to listen.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:17 PM
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Maggie--
thank you. I have done a lot already, it's just that coming back here is taking it to a whole new level.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:14 PM
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Julia., I am struggling to open some authentic communication with my own
mother, so I envy you that you can do that. It's very lonely living without speaking the truth.
posted by
Blanche.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:14 PM
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blanche--
yes, I have my Mother I can talk to about it. She has always wanted to talk about her son and the events that changed her life as well as mine...but few want to listen because it makes them uncomfortable. thanks for your comment.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:12 PM
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posted by
shelly_b
on August 24, 2006 at 5:10 PM
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naorem--
thank you very much for the blessing and the visit.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:10 PM
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Moon--
yes, I am finally able to see the wisdom of not turning away from the pain in the (false) hope that it will go away if I pretend not to see or feel. thank you for your kind comment.
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:09 PM
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LLM--
thank you so much for your comment, it made ME teary eyed!
posted by
Julia.
on August 24, 2006 at 5:07 PM
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I think Lovelyladymonk has said it all, Julia. Your brother's sin is not your own. I hope the healing comes soon for you and that you will be happy with your new surroundings.
posted by
MaggieMae
on August 24, 2006 at 4:08 PM
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Julia., I wish I knew the answer to resolving the past
Running away didn't work, there were too many conflicting emotions that I've been carrying around. I'm on the brink of a new life, I don't want to keep carrying my old adolescent self around with me forever. I had to go back and really see the past for what it was, to move on. But how to do it, God only knows.
I hope you have at least one good, supportive live person in your old town, support is so critical. Best of wishes in your healing journey.
posted by
Blanche.
on August 24, 2006 at 12:12 PM
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May Lord's wish be always in your side
posted by
naorem
on August 24, 2006 at 11:53 AM
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Julia, you are definitely doing the right thing. It's interesting about pain; we think we can escape it, that if we run from it, it will disappear. Actually, it works in the opposite way; if we move into the pain - then it will dissipate. You are courageous. It is not easy at all but, it will get so much better. Blessings. MoonSpirit 
posted by
syzygy
on August 24, 2006 at 11:30 AM
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Sweet Julia,
Reading this has brought tears to my eyes. You are doing the right thing by embracing the past and the pain it carries with it. Having said that, take your time and go slowly. Talk to anyone who will listen without being judgemental. More importantly, don't judge yourself.
You are so right in saying that what happened to you so many long years ago has nothing to do with the woman you've become. Your brother's sins are not your own, and you have every right to love him despite what he did.
I'm sure dealing with this pain will bring about many more unshed tears for you. Cry them freely and as often as you need. Do so without shame and be at peace.
You have my love, my support...My thoughts and my prayers...May peace be with you...
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on August 24, 2006 at 11:25 AM
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