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kidnykid ......Just letting you know, I read your reply.....and Thank you.
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 19, 2006 at 12:05 PM
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SYMPHONY, reading your post about your Nan brought back memories of my own father. Toward the end of his life, he wasn't the man I remember, either. My own emotional experience was a bit different from yours, in the sense that I developed some symptoms of "shell shock" (posttraumatic stress disorder) after his passing. Even though I'd been married for years when he died, all the issues surrounding the way he behaved while ill (and undiagnosed) came back. Fortunately, things cleared up, and all I have to worry about (which is enough) is the bipolar disorder. I'll grant that Dad didn't have Alzheimer's as Nan did, but the combativeness (further along though Dad's was) seemed similar to me.
posted by
kidnykid
on October 19, 2006 at 11:54 AM
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She lived with Alzheimer’s for six years…but the last two years were the dramatic changes…at first it wasn’t anything that bad…only forgetting names, what she did the day before….couldn’t remember where she put things…etc.
Then came the dangerous things….leaving the cooker/iron on….locking herself out….
that’s when my mum, aunt and uncle, decided to have her put in a home, for her own safety…in the home, she wasn’t like the rest…which made me so sad…because seeing the other Alzheimer patients, I guess I knew what was to come.
It was like her life was rolling backwards…she could not remember yesterday, but she could remember twenty years ago as clear as day…she then became the little girl asking for her mum and dad…sometimes believing that I was her mum.
My Nan went to a few homes to cater for her needs….she was still allowed out…until one day she got lost …once found - she was not allowed to go out anymore without a carer….and she would wait by the door….like a child.
She was getting worse…..my mum kept getting phone calls about my Nan….My Mum had to keep going up the hospital…my Nan now could no longer feed herself…or go to the toilet (had to have diapers on) even eating anything she would choke…she sat in a chair staring into space…cried a lot…
Watching somebody fade away like that…is a memory I can never wipe out…I do believe she should have had the right to die long before…..because she already died in my eyes….she was sadly just a shell….who somebody invaded.
My Nan would not have wanted to be like that…she was strong, independent, proud woman…who raised her three kids alone…etc.
She would not have wanted us to see her this way…
All I am saying is…I believe that if we have a terminal illness, then we should have that right to sign a form to say….if this happens…then I want this to happen.
It is so sad for us as humans to watch somebody we love, fade away, in pain or die….but I know I would rather respect somebody’s wishes to die than to watch them in pain and suffering….whatever the situation is going on…we all suffer.
Families should not have the right to say when we die…but we should ourselves be able too.
When my Nan had died and I went and saw her in the memorial…I truly believe she is now happy…I felt a sense of peace…of course I grieved…I cried for years…still do….but I am ever so glad, that she doesn’t have to suffer anymore….even though I do miss her very much.
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 19, 2006 at 10:55 AM
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