Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to I think I've made a terrible, terrible mistake
Change and letting go is always painful, to some extent.
My thoughts are with you...
posted by
SilverMoon7
on October 29, 2006 at 7:29 PM
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Julia
Sounds more like a new beginning to me. Looking back with out regret is what many in this world strive for. You are wise to have figured it out before it was too late. I admire that!
posted by
Offy
on October 28, 2006 at 4:30 PM
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Julia
I too am facing moving back to my hometown which I said I would never do. I will be downsizing as well and I am a huge packrat. But I keep telling myself that the are just things. I only have a few more years with my aging parents and I will never get these days back-- "things" can be replaced people cant
posted by
StrickGold
on October 27, 2006 at 10:00 PM
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Julia
This is definitely a sacrifice. I know you will reap the rewards from it. The last ten years of my parents lives I did not give them what they needed from me. I had all sorts of reasons, some letitimate and some not. I regret it. Be blessed.
posted by
Justi
on October 27, 2006 at 9:29 PM
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Julia.I gained respect for R choices,& for my own feelings, thanx to R post
When I had to give up a job in Mr. Mandela's State Department, or Foreign Ministry, to be with my family here. I knew I did the RIGHT thing although I gave up a dream job, with foreign positings in Embassies (big buck$) and a promise of becoming ambassador myself if I stayed a few years more. I missed my "flat/home" on Church Street, and items like a mahogany wooden Elephant mother and calf carved in Zimbabwe, left with friends I do not hear from now.... I too wanted to have no regrets as far as human family members are concerned v. "things." Shalom.
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on October 27, 2006 at 1:47 PM
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Julia
Just stopping in to say hello. I hope you're having a good Halloween weekend.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 27, 2006 at 11:35 AM
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Hi Julia!
posted by
Blanche.
on October 27, 2006 at 10:39 AM
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so glad you're able to make peace with yourself and understand the
importance/priorities of your actions. cali will never go away (well, as long as the big one doesn't hit!). when the time is right, you can always go back.
i grew up in maine and my heart cries for it regularly but the truth is, my life is here in bc right now. funny we're on opposite coasts pining for the other side!
posted by
fourcats
on October 27, 2006 at 10:32 AM
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Julia
If you really believe in this mantra, it will never never fail you. I'm happy to learn that.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on October 27, 2006 at 6:44 AM
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Julia., yes, it was a little long to be poppy. I'll keep working on it!
posted by
Blanche.
on October 26, 2006 at 7:42 PM
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Julia,
the harmony that you feel tells you this is the right thing just now and it looks like you are making the most of it.
posted by
mneme
on October 26, 2006 at 3:58 PM
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Yes, enjoy your time with them.
posted by
A-and-B
on October 26, 2006 at 2:53 PM
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Julia.......
I'm going straight to the source here; Honor thy mother & father, one of the ten commandments. There is a reason for that commandment, mainly not for them but for the well being of your spirit. My father passed away on Nov. 15, 2004. I got to spend the last several months by his side. I wouldn't trade those last few months for the 45 years prior. We said all that was needed to be said, we got to say our goodbyes.
Gosh, I've done so many things in my life that I knew were the 'right' things to do even when they completely ruffled my comfort zone and disoriented my life beyond recognition, lol. Some changes took many years to 'pan out' to the benefit of my well being; other were almost instantaneous.
I'm sure it won't be long before you'll be saying, "Yeah, I'm home!" Home is where your heart is!
posted by
roadscross
on October 26, 2006 at 1:01 PM
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You're very fortunate, Julia, that you have a job that could move with you. Now you are there with your folks, enjoy them. You won't have them forever.
posted by
MaggieMae
on October 26, 2006 at 9:01 AM
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You are home
posted by
Tanga
on October 26, 2006 at 8:50 AM
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You are home
posted by
Tanga
on October 26, 2006 at 8:50 AM
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Julia-
You will never ever regret it; not in the long scheme of things.
Do you have sisters and/or brothers?
CeeMarie
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 26, 2006 at 7:42 AM
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Take care.
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 26, 2006 at 4:08 AM
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Mrs Tanga
posted by
Tanga
on October 26, 2006 at 3:46 AM
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Hi there.
I've had lots of those "terrible idea moments" and guess what - a year afterwards, many of them have turned out to actually be good ideas. Stop second-guessing yourself, something good will arrive.
posted by
fionajean
on October 26, 2006 at 3:41 AM
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I firmly believe you did the right thing. I was with you from the start
with no doubts whatsoever. And if and when it comes to it in my own life, I will do the very same thing.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on October 26, 2006 at 1:51 AM
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Julia
I know you did the right thing. What other choices are there?
posted by
avant-garde
on October 26, 2006 at 12:48 AM
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Julia
You did a huge thing moving girl. Hang in and it will all sort itself out.
I know because I had to do it 2 years after Joycie died, but it's alright here now and I'd hate to have to leave here.
Sometimes it's nice to have a new thing here and there, shall I make you a chalice candle? Let me know luv.
posted by
WileyJohn
on October 25, 2006 at 10:56 PM
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posted by
Whacky
on October 25, 2006 at 8:15 PM
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Julia
Hey, moving is so difficult- I hope you get right with everything!
posted by
Nanaroo
on October 25, 2006 at 7:52 PM
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I agree that you would certainly
regret missing out on the time with your parents. I miss my dad. Seeing him in prison isn't quite the same as having a family spaghetti dinner with my brother and sister and the grandkids. He liked to try new recipes on us all the time, variations of pasta salads, spaghetti sauce, garlic bread, pesto. Now he tells me about his recipe ideas on the phone, and it makes me sad. At least I know he will be out soon. Take care
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on October 25, 2006 at 7:49 PM
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any change is hard... but when it seems as though you have no other
choice, it can seem like we're stuck. From what I've read, I think you've been handling a very difficult situation amazingly well. It's not easy to give up so much, but sometimes it's worth the cost.
posted by
-blackcat
on October 25, 2006 at 7:22 PM
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Nice post . Take care.
posted by
afzal50
on October 25, 2006 at 6:23 PM
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My heart goes out to you, Julia.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on October 25, 2006 at 1:12 PM
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Julia.
You are wonderful.
You have had to make so many adjustments and I don't pretend to understand just exactly what you have went through to be close to your parents, but I am certain it was a difficult decision to make and a stressful path to follow. Changes in our environment and lifestyle are not easy to adapt to and it tends to be extremely unsettling. Your motive is pure and good and you are a special daughter. Blessings to you always...
and may you find much peace being back home.
posted by
jacentaOld
on October 25, 2006 at 12:55 PM
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Just think how you would feel if you had never left home
If you had not moved away from home you could have been more regretful than you do now.
posted by
AbsolutelyPositive
on October 25, 2006 at 12:49 PM
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what a beautiful way of stating your feelings of loss, Julia...
...it must be hard.
posted by
ginnieb
on October 25, 2006 at 12:37 PM
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Your unselfishness is what families are all about.
Yes, moving to be near your parents may have been a sacrifice and with it came some lamenting over some of the things you left behind (I would think more specifically the lifestyle you had created for yourself) but there is reward in the choice you made. And, as you said, in time you will ease into the life you are creating in your home town. Allow yourself those moments of grieving and allow yourself other moments to celebrate the strength you had to make the change. They are two distinctly separate emotions and must be nurtured within their own space.
posted by
Troosha
on October 25, 2006 at 11:55 AM
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God bless you, Julia. Any kind of move is stressful, but I think perhaps yours was above and beyond what most of us go through in a move. My last move was approximately ten miles and most of what I was used to is still within reach. I commend you for your undertaking.
posted by
TAPS.
on October 25, 2006 at 10:52 AM
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Julia., I hope it gets easier, and I'm sure it will.
Like you said, your conscience is clear that you did the right thing.
posted by
Blanche.
on October 25, 2006 at 10:39 AM
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Julia...
I too have wrestled with a similar feeling. I was endowed with a natural "wander lust" , I have been back home now for several years and not a day passes that I don't think about leaving to some unseen horizon. But I am home, my family and aging parents are near...so far, it has kept me. At the end of the day, home is a good place to be.
posted by
A_Norseman
on October 25, 2006 at 10:36 AM
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