Go to Earth Magic
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- Go to No One Wins in a Fight
Avant
Having read all the comments carefully, one thing that comes to my mind is: You can win an argument but lose a friend. So, I follow this rule of ignoring to the extent possible.Anger can not be suppressed, but there is a way in observation that makes one see the folly of it all. I have myself been a violently angry person but I meditated on my anger and saw myself a fool at times in my very justification, or in trying to rationalize as to why I was right.Sometimes it is most definitely needed, but only as a show. How to remain internally undisturbed is quite another matter and no intellectual understanding can throw it out altogether.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on December 7, 2006 at 6:04 AM
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Avant, "to everything there is a season", now it's your time to raise your
sons and have a family. Perhaps, it's my time to fight the battles I have to. I have to do this. There is no other path for me. I understand the psychology, I know myself better than most, I believe, know my demons by name. But I will still challenge the status quo, and if it rocks the boat, then the boat had a leak anyway.
posted by
Blanche.
on December 7, 2006 at 3:56 AM
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Beautiful but short, not a bad life, even for a tree, Avant
posted by
Blanche.
on December 7, 2006 at 3:50 AM
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Tanga
If I can only keep my counsel and not get frantic, I do well. I see now that taking care of myself is paramount to taking care of them.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:43 AM
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Blanche
There are Christmas tree farms near here. I see them hauled up and down the highways. It's sad in a way. But, they are beautiful.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:42 AM
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OFFBEATS
Yes. The need to protect oneself is the very core of our survival urge. What we often fail to see is that the fear that drives it is based upon an illusion itself. Death only comes to those who prepare to avoid it.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:42 AM
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Justi
I am by no means passive. But, I do believe that intelligence is driven by the intense desire to foster positive change. That means the willingness to see one's ownership in this calamity we've helped to create each and every day with our fellow man.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:40 AM
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Blanche
It doesn't matter to me which path you follow. But, as I point out, there is always a consequence (destination) for each path we choose. I have trodden these same paths for decades, and by much pain and chagrin, I have realized the truth.
The best way for me to prepare my sons for life is to live how I know they will benefit the most. I am doing one of the most important jobs of my entire life right now.
I do not support any war. I do not believe one political system is better than another. They are founded upon an illusion of separation and the philosophy that springs from it.
If I defeated every man on earth, I would expect God to defeat me. If I laid down my defenses and loved every man on earth, I would realize that God does not punish. I do.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:39 AM
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faholo
Your email has profoundly affected my thoughts of late. I'm preparing to teach my boys how to thrive in society. But, first I must accomplish this feat myself. How little we know, once it is our turn to teach and guide.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:35 AM
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sannhet
You are absolutely right. Thanks for a succint display of wisdom.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:33 AM
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Blanche
As I said in another comment just now, anger always needs a justification. Otherwise, it would appear insane. Sometimes, anger needs to be expressed in order to recapture self-worth. The trick is to recognize it early on and wield it accordingly. No, thank you is an expression of anger. Does that sound odd?
Anger that is suppressed, for acceptance's sake, turns to rage. And, rage always seeks to kill the assumed source of its humiliation.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:32 AM
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TAPS
If it weren't for my intense, reflective nature, I'd be completely lost. I do still make mistakes, but I try to remember when I choose them. It helps immensely.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:30 AM
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Troosha
Something so primal is often so hard to discover. I think the fact that we feel anger spontaneously and have done so since we were birthed only complicates it. Controlling it is futile, for it turns inward and eats the organism. Letting it out and studying it is the only way to free oneself from it.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:29 AM
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Cee
You're welcome. Thank you for reading.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:27 AM
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appleworks
Thanks for the analogy. It is a good one. I have found many metaphors in nature.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:27 AM
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afzal
Thanks.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 7, 2006 at 3:26 AM
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Absolutely wonderful and wise words. I am just thinking... your kids are
so lucky to have a wise and wonderful dad like you. I enjoyed this, thanks. 
Mrs T
posted by
Tanga
on December 6, 2006 at 1:20 AM
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Avant, the need to have the last word is a definite ego thing I eschew
I am giving it up right after I say this. Intelligent debate? Show me some, I am starved for it round here.
posted by
Blanche.
on December 5, 2006 at 6:59 PM
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I can't believe how expensive Christmas trees have gotten, Avant-Garde,
speaking of trees. Of course, there is a quantum difference in quality between the trees at the Garden Center, Noble, Douglas and other firs, as well as spruces and hemlock. I had to take a walk through there, just to smell it, it was wonderful. I bought some mulling spices for cider.
posted by
Blanche.
on December 5, 2006 at 5:19 PM
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avant gard
I like what you said "Insecurity drives anger" and I firmly believe you are right..Sometimes you have to walk away from the person and allow them to sit with their own anger.. Why get yourself all wrapped up in something you can't control..and you will never change nor control any intelligent debate so long as there is anger..Good post~
posted by
Offy
on December 5, 2006 at 4:42 PM
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Avant Gard
This is an excellent post. I did not see you pushing passivity, but civility, intelligence and respect. No matter what changes come in this country without these things all else is waste. God bless you.
posted by
Justi
on December 5, 2006 at 11:54 AM
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NO!!!! I have tried to embrace this philosophy, Avant and I cannot.
It is not a matter of personal idiosyncracy or psychology or fear and insecurity or whatever. There is a moral right and wrong and what is happening in our country is not mere Zen. Reality may be an extremely persistent illusion, Avant, but so are dog bites and defiicits and dead SOLDIERS, nearly 3,000, and several billion dollars of deficit that your sons will be burdened with.
Every child born in this country today has a $28,000 debt to pay and it is rising due to the profligacy, waste and corruption of the nominal head of our country. I have tried to remain silent but I cannot and will not any longer. Not now, now that there is a mere 24 months window of opportunity for change, but we must act and I'm sorry, but I think that if you want to heal and mend however you must out in the hinterlands of the trees, then fine, do so. But I can't stay silent in the face of lies anymore, Avant, don't ask me to. Ever. Please. Not to spare anyone's feelings, not to keep the peace and make nice or get along. I've tried, and I just can't do it anymore. I can't stomach it.
The Founding Fathers were fiery revolutionaries and truth be told, even though Jesus is portrayed as being meek and long-suffering he had his passionate side, against injustice, he merely knew that it was fruitless and though his kingdom was not of this earth, he did not mean for his followers to be passive and remove themselves to live in monasteries, this is the world we live in, this country, which I love and I will not see it go down the toilet without a fight. I will not.
posted by
Blanche.
on December 5, 2006 at 3:00 AM
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Good post!
posted by
Whacky
on December 4, 2006 at 7:38 PM
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A wonderful post Avant! Anger is a secondary emotion!
Just a few comments about anger: When feelings of anger well up if we stop and ask our self: What am I afraid of? A truthful answer will cause the anger to dissipate and often brings a smile to our face! Fear precedes most angry feelings; often the cause is we feel attacked intellectually, physically, emotionally, etc. Or, our reputation is treathened it matters not if the reputation is good or bad. Take care and no others care and look forward to your posts. I am glad I found your writing Blog, it is great! Blessings!
faholo
posted by
faholo
on December 4, 2006 at 11:01 AM
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Avant -
Anger is the child of fear. If there is anger, fear is close by.
posted by
sannhet
on December 4, 2006 at 10:53 AM
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And altough many here try to make it personal, so that even after trying to
have an intelligent, rational, civil debate it becomes a playground, the level of schoolchildren, there is that final schoolyard taunt you must be familiar with from Luke and his friends, "He started it."
posted by
Blanche.
on December 4, 2006 at 8:13 AM
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Avant-Garde, in general I agree with you on personal matters
In the political realm, there are larger questions that need to be hashed out and there is the matter of what is true and what is false. Sometimes, the record on certain facts needs to be set straight.
When there is a long-standing history of being treated rudely, mockingly and dismissively and facts ignored, it can't be helped. Things are different in News & Poltics than in journaling or blogging in general. The record must be set straight.
posted by
Blanche.
on December 4, 2006 at 8:12 AM
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Avant-garde, You are at your best here. As you say, wisdom comes from experience and most of those experiences are embarrassing, to say the least.
posted by
TAPS.
on December 4, 2006 at 8:04 AM
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Avant
You’re right – anger is usually driven but something other than the anger itself (such as insecurity, fear, or frustration). There is a saying “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Sometimes we get so caught up in ramming our opinion down someone’s throat we forget there is little to gain by doing so. So what if someone thinks differently….celebrate the difference. And the peacekeeper - he or she knows it's not worth the grief.
posted by
Troosha
on December 4, 2006 at 7:42 AM
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avant-What an excellent post!
As always, you are answering the call as to our purpose here; to be the best ME I can be and to make thousands of choices in that direction daily. I enjoyed reading this very much today!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on December 4, 2006 at 7:42 AM
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avant
found a book in the house " how to stay alive in the woods" i want to make a wild wood salad, it is the wrong season. there are many plants i commonly see around, that now i know can be eaten. i am so familiar with the woods and fields off behind the house that i know where this stuff is. a new interest.
your post somehow relates to being lost in woods. the natives in the this part of the world stayed close to the sea, where they had access to its food all year round. the mussels are clammed up in a bunch as you need muscles to dig a clam.
posted by
appleworks7
on December 4, 2006 at 6:00 AM
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An excellent thought provoking post .
posted by
afzal50
on December 4, 2006 at 3:00 AM
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