Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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- Go to To Gift or Not to Gift? Tis' nobler to give a crappy gift than none at all?
Oh, I'm sorry.....just one more thing I forgot
Giving time when someone hasn't any (like cleaning their house, gardening for them, babysitting, etc.) allowing them more time; is also the perfect gift.
posted by
roadscross
on December 26, 2006 at 10:29 PM
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Why don't more people just boycot the entire obligatory process?
I have a keen desire to touch every heart I care about at least once a year and there are many on my special list. I make homemade cards with a new poem every year and send them to everyone on my special list. For co-workers or those that I do business with or those I'm closest to, I give a loaf of banana bread; now, I'm not suggesting that my way is a right way, I've had many loaves flop many years and have suggested using them as pet food or even paper weights; but it is what everyone expects of me. (Lower the standards of expectation slowly though), lol. Now, I'm not saying it's easy making all that banana bread, nor is it easy to send as many cards, but as a single-mom always squeaking by, I've never had a choice.
We were rather poor, hard-working people when I was growing up and we were taught to give our time in helping others. We made fancy IOU's and gave car washes, gardening, house-cleaning and babysitting as gifts; or let's do lunch my treat or dinner or a night at the movies is on me; all gifts involved spending our time with those we love.
And in turn, I don't value something someone buys me that I don't need as much as I value their time.
Memories are the perfect gift; developing and nuturing relationships; time shared, given in anticipation not obligation, unconditionally.
posted by
roadscross
on December 26, 2006 at 10:26 PM
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Obligatory giving is not so good. The attitude of the giver always appears in the gift. I have a few people in the family who keep sending me lavender gifts. Lavender is the worst possible color that anyone could place before me at this time, but the yucky gifts have been from obligatory sources. We can tell.
posted by
Jenasis
on December 26, 2006 at 11:04 AM
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Julia...
Your query echoes many of my own thoughts and concerns about the holidays. I don't really know the answers to them, I flounder through Christmas year after year just doing the best I can, just doing what seems "rightest" as much as possible.
I do have a thought about the perfect gift though; the perfect gift would have to be the gift of unconditional love. I know that sounds sappy as hell, but I really believe it. Unconditional love, however it might be expressed, conveyed, or "given" is the pearl of great price. It is rare, selfless, and does not demand reciprocation. It is...perfect.
posted by
A_Norseman
on December 26, 2006 at 10:05 AM
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Joe--
I do see the logic in them, but I still question whether we should give people money--is it out of obligation or do you truly enjoy giving them money to buy their own gift?
posted by
Julia.
on December 24, 2006 at 9:29 AM
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avant--
I will certainly try to! Hope you have a wonderful holiday as well my friend.
posted by
Julia.
on December 24, 2006 at 9:26 AM
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Julia , I plead guilty.
I'm one of those gift card people. . , mainly because I work way too hard for my money to have someone take my gifts and place them in a yardsale. Here, take the giftcard, and go buy yourself something that you actually like.
Now, as far as the $5 gift card delemna. . , well. ., that IS a problem. (grin)
posted by
Joe_Love
on December 23, 2006 at 4:55 PM
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Julia
I completely understand your sentiment here. Have a Merry Christmas anyway!
posted by
avant-garde
on December 23, 2006 at 3:58 PM
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I-R--
who doesn't redeem their Best Buy gift card?? I'll take it!! lol.
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 3:56 PM
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whacky--
oh yeah, now THERE'S a useful present, lol. Actually I think the Chia Kitty might be cute.
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 3:55 PM
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A-and-B--
maybe the pain is dulling my brain, but I don't know what you mean!
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 3:54 PM
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Maggie--
I did finally go to the chiro yesterday, not sure if it helped much but the pain is bearable. At least I won't be writhing in agony on the floor instead of enjoying the Christmas meal with my family. lol. Merry Christmas!
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 3:54 PM
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katray--
the "present bin" is a great idea!!
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 3:51 PM
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Julia, 43 million dollars of unredeemed gift cards at Best Buy this year.
Millions of dollars in gift returns on December 26th by angry and somewhat disappointed gift receivers. I am happy in knowing that I..yes I... do not contribute to this madness. Heh-heh-heh
Merry Christmas, Julia!
posted by
I-R-William
on December 23, 2006 at 3:30 PM
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Well...there is always the ch chi chia pet.
Merry ChristmasT
posted by
Whacky
on December 23, 2006 at 1:55 PM
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It took years of giving before we even got the crappy gifts exchange. Lol.
posted by
A-and-B
on December 23, 2006 at 1:02 PM
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Julia, I doubt there is one of us who doesn't fall into that very situation every year. You're absolutely right about it, but how do you get away from it? If someone gives me a gift and I know they're going to do it, I don't want to be caught not having one for them. It's too embarrassing for me.
I hope you're feeling better today. Do you plan on seeing a doctor, or not? I know it's none of my business, but I'm asking because I'm concerned. I HATE PAIN!
Merry Christmas, Sweetie - hope you can enjoy it.
posted by
MaggieMae
on December 23, 2006 at 10:36 AM
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I always say gift from the heart
and if a person who is not well known to me shows up on Christmas, I pull out the ol' present bin and tell them to select. The bin contains a wide variety of items that I've purchased at clearance, closeout sales. Nothing is wrapped, but they do sport ribbons and bows. This way, nobody feels left out and hopefully they will find something they like or need. Or something a family member or friend of theirs may appreciate, lol. It's fun too; kind of like a treasure hunt.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS JULIA! 
posted by
Katray2
on December 23, 2006 at 9:51 AM
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thanks Afzal, and the same to you!
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 9:18 AM
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Merry Christmas and a happy new year.
posted by
afzal50
on December 23, 2006 at 9:10 AM
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TAPS--
I agree, the "expected giving" is not one of the finer traditions of Christmas. Giving when there is a special need or want, is so much more enjoyable than giving at Christmas because you're supposed to.
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 8:59 AM
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Presley--
Only if they are purple!! lol. You think I'm kidding but I'm not, we don't get my sister anything unless it's purple!
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 8:57 AM
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Julia
You have expressed exacly why I don't like this thing of expected giving of gifts at Christmastime. It drives me up the wall because I am not creative in that department. I like to give gifts just any time of the year when I see a need or something that really lights up the eyes of one I love and then just enjoy the Christmas ambiance at this time of year. But then, everyone knows that I am growing more eccentric and rebellious as the years pass. LOL
posted by
TAPS.
on December 23, 2006 at 8:55 AM
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Julia
Think she might want the mini ornaments and stinky candle? I'd be happy to send those, too. I'm a giver! LOL
posted by
Presley
on December 23, 2006 at 8:45 AM
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Presley--
Send me the purple socks, lol--my sister is the Purple Queen and she not only loves purple, but she wears NO OTHER COLOR! I kid you not...
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 8:40 AM
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ROFL... yeah, I guess it is.
posted by
-blackcat
on December 23, 2006 at 8:36 AM
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blackcat--"semi perfect" lol--
isn't that an oxymoron?
I know, a lot of people think gift cards are great, but I don't.
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 8:35 AM
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Julia
LOL! This is great! I received some obligatory gifts from some of my co-workers this year: a pair of purple, fuzzy socks - a pack of 6 mini tree ornaments that are no bigger than a large jaw breaker - an evegreen scented candle.
I don't think there was any "thought" put into the purple socks or the mini tree ornaments. Everybody needs socks, but why purple? Mini ornaments? I'm guessing BARGAIN BIN! The candle wasn't so bad. I've mentioned I like the smell of Christmas trees, so it's the thought that counts, but this particular candle, well, it's a bad imitation of the Christmas tree scent.
Good post, Julia!
posted by
Presley
on December 23, 2006 at 8:33 AM
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bel--
yes, you done good! My address is...
I love getting a massage but you are right, it's something of a splurge that I rarely do. I could really use one now.
posted by
Julia.
on December 23, 2006 at 8:33 AM
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LOL... I like to think there's a semi-perfect gift for that moment in time,
but honestly, I try too hard to find it. I have to work on that... LOL
As for gift cards, I agree. I really don't like receiving them because I feel like that person just gave me money, and I don't want their money! However, I think I'm in the minority because most people have no problem taking money as a gift. LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on December 23, 2006 at 8:33 AM
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Oh but
If I were to send you gifts I would send
toys for kitties...hmmmmmmm maybe some catnip toys at that.
For BQ, I am guessing the evil furby is about worn out.
For you, a gift certificate for a nice massage because it's something I doubt you would spend on yourself and you could really use one.
Am I close?
posted by
bel_1965
on December 23, 2006 at 8:21 AM
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LOL Julia
I hate buying gifts for people I barely know.
posted by
bel_1965
on December 23, 2006 at 8:19 AM
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