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caring
saying that you do not care about what other people think is your own defense mechanism working overtime and i can see your insecurity peeping. but the thing to do is tell yourself it is ok to be defensive or insecure. it is your life and your experiences that made you what you are so ok you will learn and grow. people will ne what they are.
posted by
tenny_A
on January 16, 2007 at 6:59 PM
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Julia.
I used to care a lot, probably too much. Now I care more about what I think of myself. If I'm comfortable with me probably others will be also.
posted by
TAPS.
on January 12, 2007 at 3:55 PM
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just be the best you you can and let the chips fall
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on January 11, 2007 at 5:53 PM
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I think we all care to different degrees
Nobody is beyond just a little vanity, or ego. Which means nobody is perfect!
posted by
David1Spirit
on January 11, 2007 at 4:54 PM
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i wish i could say i didn't care
but i think the truth is that we all to some degree care what others think. I've noticed that it's more in relation to people i don't know that well, i.e. people at my new job, cute bartender who could be potentially more, etc. With my friends and family, they know me and love me no matter what..so I could really care less what they think!! hehe
posted by
quarterlifecrisis
on January 11, 2007 at 4:41 PM
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Why worry about what others think or say.....
I certainly wouldn't want to wake up late in life and realize the total time spent not being my real self out of fear of what others thought.
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on January 10, 2007 at 8:45 PM
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Julia
I do comprehend what you're saying in regard to living in the shadow of your brother's criminal past. The mentality of guilt by association (or relation) is so common in our society. I just want you to know that I enjoy the essence of your being as it exists here on Blogit. I'm drawn to the style in which you express yourself. It exudes confidence and open-mindedness! Do I care what others think about me? To some degree, yes I do care, but I'm relatively fearless in many other regards.
posted by
Presley
on January 10, 2007 at 8:34 PM
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You know, I would love to walk the walk and just not give a damn what anyone thinks. I think in person I portray that on the surface...but deep down I'm just an insecure girl who wants everyone to like her. Damn it.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on January 10, 2007 at 4:23 PM
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Well. . , have to tell you, Quirky.
It's very liberating to just be yourself and not care what others think about you. However, being the best person you possibly can (a humble and honest person) is a pre-requisite to capturing this freedom.
posted by
Joe_Love
on January 10, 2007 at 3:09 PM
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Julia, If I worried about what people thought of me,I'd be in sad shape
I go along the lines of "To know me is to love me and if you love me you will not judge me." .....Seems to work for me.
Peace
posted by
I-R-William
on January 10, 2007 at 9:56 AM
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i think everyone cares - but in different degrees
posted by
ladychardonnay
on January 10, 2007 at 7:14 AM
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Hi Julia...I cared more what people thought of me when I was younger.
The older I get the less I care. I mean I don't want to be considered a jerk due to my actions but if people think I'm weird because of my beliefs or what I write I simply don't care. I find you to be an interesting person...a break from the mold! I have always been a nonconformist- why change now!
Hey I hear you are going to get our frigid weather before it gets to us. Uh, could you put it on hold......
posted by
RckyMtnActivist
on January 10, 2007 at 5:18 AM
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Nope, not at all
I revel in being a nerd. I was made fun of ruthlessly growing up, and as an adult I find that I don't exactly fit in. As I grew older I found I liked who I have become and I wouldn't want to be cookie cutter. Given that, I can't really worry about the comments. I can't make everyone happy. I can't make a majority happy.
posted by
terpgirl30
on January 9, 2007 at 9:27 PM
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Julia,
now that I hear that you are one of these Furby fanciers, and even though I have never actually seen one (but then, I haven't seen dragons either, lol), I think I have to revise my opinion: you may be a fruitcake after all...
posted by
Nautikos
on January 9, 2007 at 7:07 PM
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My Teacher says (paraphrasing) that what is important is what God thinks of us, not what others think - I try to live with this thought in mind - failing frequently. MoonSpirit 
posted by
syzygy
on January 9, 2007 at 7:05 PM
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Julia,
Very few us of can say honestly that we don't give a hoot what others think of us. I'm not at that point yet. On the job, I don't care what the people I supervise think, I just want the job done, but on a personal level, I do care what others think of me as a person.
posted by
word.smith
on January 9, 2007 at 6:44 PM
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What Maggie???
It's not my fault she is the Furby's minion yet, I still love her.
posted by
bel_1965
on January 9, 2007 at 6:08 PM
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Good post.
posted by
afzal50
on January 9, 2007 at 6:00 PM
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Julia...
You don't have to worry - I admire you, you're a great writer, and I love you. Don't worry about what people think.
now, bel, hmmmmmmmmmmmm!
posted by
MaggieMae
on January 9, 2007 at 5:38 PM
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Oh, I almost forgot
you are a fruitcake but that has nothing to do with Samuel...it has everything to do with FURBY!
posted by
bel_1965
on January 9, 2007 at 4:17 PM
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Julia
I think on some level we all care too much. From my perspective: you have put things out there about your personal life that I doubt I would have ever had the courage to tell another soul, I have always admired that courage in you. Even with your caring you still won't change who you are or what you are simply to please others...so in a way, yes you do care but not so much that you are not still who you are.
posted by
bel_1965
on January 9, 2007 at 4:16 PM
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Julia
I haven't read your posts very often, though have enjoyed them when I did.
I had no idea that your brother had committed murder. The fact that he did has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on what I think of you. To put it in the strongest terms possible (at least here and now, lol) I don't give a rat's behind! Having said that, because of my background I might be interested in how you coped with that, but that's not something one can explore in this forum, and is in any case an entirely different matter.
Because you mentioned it, I read the last post in your other blog as well. I certainly don't think you're a fruitcake because of that, although my explanation for this dragon business, which is really not that unusual, would probably be quite different from yours, and you would probably not like it. The mind is a wondrous thing...
posted by
Nautikos
on January 9, 2007 at 4:08 PM
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Julia
This is such a good post. We all need to understand just as we want to be accepted our individual wish is as different from anothers as our reasons for feeling unaccepted. Excellent post and comments, sent me into a think swirl!
posted by
Justi
on January 9, 2007 at 2:00 PM
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Julia.. Julia..Julia
I wuv you!!
posted by
Blue_feathers
on January 9, 2007 at 12:59 PM
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Julia
As long as our words and actions are kind and filled with integrity, it shouldn’t matter who we are (nor should we care what other’s think of us). On a much smaller scale, I followed in the foot steps of my brother throughout high school. He happened to be the local drug dealer and an infamous shit disturber. He was a grade a head of me and each time I would arrive on the first day of school, teachers would look at their class list, do roll call, and inevitably when they got to me would say (with furrowed brow or raised eyebrow) “So….. you’re K.M’s sister …”. Arrghhh.
I think it’s inherent to care what other people think to a certain extent because we all thrive on acceptance and love. For some, that characteristic is driven by years of not being accepted. For others it’s simply a human need.
posted by
Troosha
on January 9, 2007 at 12:41 PM
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Julia.
Anyone who says he/she doesn't care at all what people think is lying. As social creatures, we have the need to be liked by others. The number and types of hoops we jump through in order to be liked differs with the individual, but everyone jumps through them. Everyone.
posted by
Talion
on January 9, 2007 at 12:29 PM
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Julia, I'd have to say I'd like to think that if someone doesn't like me
it's for a good reason, and I would hope it wasn't because of something I'd done. So I understand where you're coming from there.
A bad family event doesn't define who you are. Different circumstances entirely, but my Mam did something 17 ago that put our family under a microscope for a few years as did her family through various other happenings. A small community will make you an outcast for something as simple as a haircut. Your situation obviously very difficult, so I can only speculate as to how it must've been for you.
posted by
CringeintheUSA
on January 9, 2007 at 12:25 PM
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Julia...
This is a very interesting topic. Everyone is concerned, at least to some degree no matter how infintestimal, what others think about them. We all have at least someone in our lives that we want to like and care for us. For some people it may not extend beyond their inner circle of family and friends...while others care what the entire world thinks. Me personally, it is much more important to me that my position is understood rather than if it is agreed with. If someone understands my position and dislikes me anyway that's fine. However if someone dislikes me because they don't understand my position correctly that bothers me.
So...um...what do you think of me now? lol.
posted by
A_Norseman
on January 9, 2007 at 12:15 PM
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posted by
Amanda__
on January 9, 2007 at 11:39 AM
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