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avant-garde
That is a fact of life, give, give, give, all you can, what flows out, flows in. What a lovely post as usual for you my friend.
posted by
WileyJohn
on January 17, 2007 at 9:42 PM
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avant--
great post! That's why I think the idea of Random Acts of Kindness is so nice--they are not done with the intent to get something back (other than a good feeling, I guess).
posted by
Julia.
on January 17, 2007 at 10:49 AM
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avant-
Your post brought to mind the giving of gifts at Christmas.
My giving is always based on each person's unique needs and wants and that comes from listening all year long. I take more joy in watching everyone open their gifts than seeing what I got.
It is interesting to compare different family Christmas traditions. We make sure each person has one gift to open and we watch each other open their one gift. You might say we savor the experience.
By the time the rest of the family convenes at our house in the afternoon for dinner and we have another exchange, the tempo picks up considerably. Everyone is unwrapping as fast as they can. It's a busy, hectic, loud ripple in time with a personal sense of privacy. I still like to see who gives what to who just to savor the moment. Even if it is more hectic it is still joyful.
It all revolves around "self" and the many faceted needs and deeds of self to complete oneself, day in and day out. There's that self again! Our mission is to experience life and to be the best ME you can be, every day.
Cee 
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on January 17, 2007 at 10:35 AM
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Every little thing we do, we do from more than a single motivation.
Giving has many benefits for the giver, and I don't think we need to be unmindful of them, to give sincerely and freely.
Receiving is also a virtue and is part of generosity: It is a human need, to be received from-- to know that what one offers is welcomed and valued. It is very sad, to have no one to give to, and no one who appreciates what you offer.
When we give, we obligate whether we mean to, or not-- especially if we give something of value to the receiver. When we receive something back, there is a balance achieved. The imbalance manifests as guilt, resentment, inferiority, indebtedness...
posted by
Ciel
on January 17, 2007 at 8:58 AM
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I do want to be free
now more than ever before...
posted by
malcolm
on January 17, 2007 at 5:39 AM
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Whacky
Yes, you can say that.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:30 AM
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mysteria
Well, maybe we can enlighten each other some.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:29 AM
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bel
Thanks. I'm glad you stopped by.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:29 AM
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faholo
You have spoken wisely. I have felt this on many occasions.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:28 AM
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Presley
Thanks.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:28 AM
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Bhaskar
Thanks for the visit, my friend.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:27 AM
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Moon
You are absolutely right. The giver is the receiver!
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:27 AM
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Troosha
Precisely! Thank you for this.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 17, 2007 at 2:26 AM
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So take the self out of selfless?
posted by
Whacky
on January 16, 2007 at 10:32 PM
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avante, thank you for this dialogue and the resulting comments.
This post and the corresponding feedback is the one of the reasons I subscribe to Blogit. Enlightenment
posted by
mysteria
on January 16, 2007 at 4:30 PM
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This is good food for thought.
posted by
bel_1965
on January 16, 2007 at 9:39 AM
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Hello Avant! This is thought-provoking post and I am
forced to think about why I do what I do in caring for my brother, which is a repeat of caring for my mother. I have found, whatever the reasons in the beginning may be, there comes a point when selflessness becomes a way of life, which although exhausting and even confusing at times brings peacefulness in the heart and soul. In this stage the only reward is gratitude for the grace, courage and love to continue to the end! Resentment only comes when one feels trapped or forced to live a life of unselfish love because of LOVE. He said, God is LOVE and I have chosen to believe HIM! Blessings on you and yours this day!
faholo
posted by
faholo
on January 16, 2007 at 6:52 AM
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Avant
You are a wise soul!
posted by
Presley
on January 16, 2007 at 6:50 AM
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Avant
Reading today's posts of all you excellent writers has been a delight. Will have to come back for a second read. Though crisp, aphoristic almost, its profundity has to be digested in time.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on January 16, 2007 at 6:06 AM
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Avant, an interesting thing can happen (I was fortunate, it was God's gift, it was Grace) in the giving: one becomes soley concerned with the welfare of the 'other', the distinction between self and 'other' disappears, one's joy is proportional to the joy of the recipient, the recipient's welfare is the only concern. When that happens an energy is release, a spiritual gift, again - Grace - that can only be experienced, not communicated. Sometimes people would say to me what a blessing we were conferring on these wretched homeless. That always struck me as odd. My perception was that we (the givers) were the ones being blessed. MoonSpirit 
posted by
syzygy
on January 16, 2007 at 5:23 AM
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Avant
I'll leave the same comment I left for Moon on this subject....
Some people often suggest that our apparent acts of altruism are really, deep-down, motivated by a desire to make ourselves feel good and by extension are therefore selfish acts. But even if satisfying our desire to help others does bring pleasure, it does not follow that the original cause of our action was a desire for the pleasure. That confuses the true intent of our actions with a beneficial side-product. Just because something good results, it does not follow that this something must have been our motivation all along. We have the capacity to give of ourselves and whatever the motivation, whatever the outcome, the gift should be given. There is no price attached but can we entirely separate our self from the inner peace and joy (which is a reward) that takes place when we give of ourselves unconditionally?
posted by
Troosha
on January 16, 2007 at 5:21 AM
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