Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to Insanity…are we all but one breath away??
Julia.
I'm going to be bold here and suggest that first you must accept, yourself, that you cannot be held accountable for the actions of your brother. Maybe you DO believe this; maybe you don't.
posted by
Joe_Love
on January 30, 2007 at 4:10 PM
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Julia
Did you communicate or contact your brother or his victims through Samuel? I am curious as to what he might say about it.
posted by
avant-garde
on January 28, 2007 at 2:47 AM
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Julia,
Your writing mirrors my own today, and I have to wonder why. Thank you for sharing these inner turmoils with the rest of us. Who hasn't wondered whether they're insane? And who makes up the bloody rules anyway?
My son supposedly has Asperger's Syndrome. Supposedly, that makes him weird or different. But I think he's more "enlightened" than anyone I know. He lives totally in the NOW. How he feels now, what he thinks now, what he knows now. If that's insanity, or even just weird, I think we could all use a dose of it.
Your thoughts about your brother and his victims are heart-breaking. The path you've come down is ravaged with sorrow. It sounds trite to say this, but I hope you know that you are not alone. 
posted by
myrrhage_
on January 26, 2007 at 10:14 AM
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Sounds pretty human to me
take a deep breath and cuddle with the babies, they will keep you warm.
posted by
bel_1965
on January 26, 2007 at 6:57 AM
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Julia
That really gripped me luv, because the same thoughts about my sanity course through my mind.
As a recovering alcoholic, my one saving grace as the result of sobriety, was that Joyce and I fell in love, someone loved me despite what I had been.
Now since she died, and I have lost relationships with my sons because of that love, I have to work at holding my mind together too luv.
You are in my prayers luv. God bless you
posted by
WileyJohn
on January 25, 2007 at 9:18 PM
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It you think you are insane then your not. or so I've heard.
-^..^- Bo can see you!
posted by
Whacky
on January 25, 2007 at 8:39 PM
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Unfortunately,
I don't know that it's possible to put all that behind you, but maybe it's possible to make peace with the fact that it's happened and nothing will ever change that. To be truthful, I've often wondered why - apart from chemical imbalances in the brain and such - some of us go mad and some of us don't. Peace and blessings.
posted by
word.smith
on January 25, 2007 at 5:52 PM
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Sending you emotional chicken soup
May your soul be healed. *hugs*
posted by
Jemmie211
on January 25, 2007 at 4:34 PM
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Julia
I don't know what to say. I'm sad for what you feel. I want to swoop in and make it all go away.
posted by
Presley
on January 25, 2007 at 3:51 PM
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You know Julia....I just thought about something...you went back to
the place where you experienced so much pain. Maybe to heal and this is part of the healing process??? I have read some of your older posts over the year and I'm so sorry for the price you are having to pay for your brother's doing. I have never been in your shoes so I can't offer any advice, just my prayers. I know you didn't post it but I think I know who your brother is....the girl's mother keeps popping up in the news from time to time....but you already know that.
posted by
RckyMtnActivist
on January 25, 2007 at 2:34 PM
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Hi Julia...I am sorry for what you're going through..sounds like a life
transition. You made a big change and that is a lot to adjust to. I think as we get older change becomes a bit more difficult. I believe you are where you are supposed to be as you seem connected to your inner guidance. Give it time...I know easy for me to say. And if it's any consolation I am here freezing my ass off too! BTW....Sanity is highly overrated...don't you think? LOL 
posted by
RckyMtnActivist
on January 25, 2007 at 1:54 PM
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Try not to dwell
on things you cannot change but have courage to change the things you can. I do believe January is the hardest month to get past, but nearly there now...
posted by
malcolm
on January 25, 2007 at 12:43 PM
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Julia, If I had the answers I would give them to you without hesitation.
All I can say is I can only help by listening to what you write.
posted by
I-R-William
on January 25, 2007 at 12:10 PM
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Julia
You sound so sad and torn today....
Still your heart
Keep it strong
Yet second guessing
Isn’t wrong
Hold your dreams
Keep them warm
Time will heal
All that you mourn
Don’t search for love
For it will find
Your heart that hungers
Your heart that shines
posted by
Troosha
on January 25, 2007 at 12:09 PM
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Darn.I am not sure this will make any sense.
Recently I met someone who had a close family member who did something horrible. And it was eyebrow lifting for me at the time. But now I don't remember who it was or what they said people were still taking out on them. I suppose the summary is: Sure, those close to the victims may hold the grudge. But, for the average human being on the street, it won't really even register.
Or, it could mean that my memory is even crappier than ever? 
In which case, never mind.
posted by
FactorFiction
on January 25, 2007 at 11:19 AM
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although i do not have the depth of tragedy in my past as you do, i
have learned that i must take what i have learned from my own heartache and use it to help guide others, in whatever form best presents itself. you can't change the past but as long as you're here with us, the world, you can move forward.
seems like we're kinda in the same boat today, hey julia?
posted by
fourcats
on January 25, 2007 at 10:44 AM
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Yes , it is very hard and difficult to forget the past .Touching post .
posted by
afzal50
on January 25, 2007 at 10:30 AM
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