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Re: Responsibility comes first;
CHYRLANN I MUST TELL YOU I READ THIS FOUR TIMES TO MAKE SURE I GOT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING WELL I GOT. I WROTE IT OUT LIKE A LIST OF RULES. CALLED THE BOYS IN AND SET THEM DOWN AND SAID THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE. I SHARED THE LIST WITH THEM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST I TOLD THEM THAT ALL REWARDS ARE CUT OUT INCLUDEING THE TV THE GAME THE BIKES THE SKATE BROAD AND SKATES ALL THESE THING THEY TURELY LOVE. NOW MY LITTLE MAN ASK ME. ME TO MOM AND IT KILLED ME TO SAY YES BECAUSE I MUST ADMITT I HAVE HIM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPOILED TO IT'S A SHAME. HE DON'T EVEN PUT HIS OWN CLOTHES ON HE IS 6 YEARS OLD SOON TO BE SEVEN. AFTER I SAID YES TO HIM HE SAID WHY. I JUST LOOKED AT I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANSWER FOR HIM I TOLD HIM WE WOULD TALK LATER. HE THEN SAID YOU TOLD ME I AINT GOTTA DO NOTHING LAST TIME. I SAID I KNOW BUT THINGS HAS TO CHANGE THIS WOULD MAKE YOU A BETTER MAN WHEN YOU GROW UP. I NEED MORE TIME WITH HIM. ANYWAY I THANK YOU BECAUSE MY SONS SEEM LIKE THEY WERE LISTEN TO ME. I NEVER CAME OFF TO THEM LIKE THIS BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE A MOTHER NOW THIS A RESPONIBILTY LESSON FOR ME ALSO. SO THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE ALL THIS FOR ME. I NEVER HAD ANY HELP WITH THEM BEFORE. I HAD THE KIND OF MOM THAT SAID THING LIKE YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW LIE IN IT. I WAS A YOUNG MOTHER STILL YOUNG AND HAVE ALOT TO LEARN WHEN IT COME TO RAISING MY SONS. I KNOW RIGHT NOW IS HOW TO COOK WHICH I DO VERY WELL PUT CLOTHES ON THIER BACKS AND MAKE SURE THEY HAVE EVERYTHING THEY ASK FOR. WELL I WILL GO FOR NOW ARE I WILL WRITE ALL NIGHT. THANKS AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU.
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 7:55 PM
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Re: Did it work for me?
LINDO RIGHT. HAVE A NICE NIGHT
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 7:13 PM
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Responsibility comes first;
They need lines drawn, borders and consistency. If their appointed chores are not done, no TV, no games, no nothing. Chores; responsibility first.....if it takes all day or days, teach them to stick to a project and to complete it before there is ANY reward. It is an extrememly difficult endeavor that requires stubborn persistence on your part. It may takes months to get the point across but your reward will come in the teenage years and into adulthood. Don't give up. Stand firm and demand respect and authority...especially raising boys, not that girls don't need the same but boys need guidance, boundaries and especially direction. And with boys, consider 'the team' and competition approach. It is how boys (& grown men for that matter) think. Remember; persistence toward getting a job done, doing it well and following authority for approval is the name of the 'grown up' game, big time! If they don't learn this as children, they will not be ready for the real world where mom is not to pick up after them and to go to their work to get their jobs done......no more mom in the real world of adults....start them now.
I am not advising you of this because I succeeded. I had these same questions not so long ago and like you, I got so weary from trying to get them to help and do things right that it was just so much easier to do things myself. Now........ages 20 & 25, one is a little bit more responsible, but the other is still running to mom for help. I am now witnessing the 'after effects' of my lack of persistence, insistance and authority towards responsibility, finish tasks and doing them well. Please.....for your sake and the future sake of all involved, buck-up and take preventative action NOW...no matter how painstaking it becomes. Your reward will be somewhere in the near future. And like Wiley said..........pray :)
posted by
roadscross
on April 21, 2007 at 6:58 PM
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Did it work for me?
It worked for my parents (on us)
.
posted by
lindo
on April 21, 2007 at 5:31 PM
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LOL.....................LOL............................LOL.................
THANKS LUSTORLOVE. YOU KNOW HOW WHEN YOU COMMENT ON ALMOST THE SAME POST THEY STICK IN YOUR HEAD. WELL DO GET ME WRONG I HAVE COMMENTED ON TIMMY'S BEFORE. I JUST FORGOT I FEEL BAD. THANKS AGAIN LUSTORLOVE DID YOU TELL ON ME. DID YOU TELL HIM TO COMMENT.
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 4:21 PM
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Re: reflectionof
I am glad you finally know who the resident nut case is, you can thank me anytime
posted by
Lanetay
on April 21, 2007 at 4:02 PM
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Re: My child is 2 so i can give you my parents' way
LINDO I HAD TO WRITE THIS DOWN SO I COULD REMEMBER. THANKS DID THIS WORK FOR YOU
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 4:00 PM
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reflectionof
I am the resident nut case
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on April 21, 2007 at 3:59 PM
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Re: Reflectionofme
THANKS WILEY THAT IS SOMETHING I NEED TO WORK ON. I ALAWS SHOUT.
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 3:59 PM
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Re: reflectionof
HI TIMMYTALES I JUST ASK WHO YOU WERE NOW I KNOW. I THINK I WILL TRY THAT. THANKS
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 3:58 PM
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Re: Wish I could, but I am on bed rest
9547SUE YOU ARE TO CUTE..LOL.............THANKS
posted by
Charnell_Lanay
on April 21, 2007 at 3:57 PM
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reflectionof
When all else fails..........bribe them!
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on April 21, 2007 at 3:47 PM
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My child is 2 so i can give you my parents' way
1.Be firm and shut the Tv if that's what keeping them from cleaning.
2. Tie the pocket money to specific chores, they have to earn money if they want it, it 's a lesson that they will have to learn sooner or later.
3. If they don't do what you want, don't do what THEY want, there'll be some tantrums i'm certain, but if you sitck some cotton in your ears, i'm sure you can make them see the light.
and last but not least, be realistic: with kids, NO HOME will ever be 100% tidy.
I hope that you find this advice of use.
if only i can implement it on my kid
posted by
lindo
on April 21, 2007 at 3:37 PM
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Reflectionofme
My opinion, don't go and do it when they won't obey you. Pray-;)
Children need consistency, be firm, that is loving. Pray.-;)
Use loss of privelege type of discipline, but be firm. Pray-;)
Speak directly to them firmly, don't shout. Just my advice after raising 5 children and 4 step-children, but others will help you on here too luv.Blessings
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 21, 2007 at 2:51 PM
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Wish I could, but I am on bed rest
posted by
Star5_
on April 21, 2007 at 2:31 PM
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