Go to Malcolm's midwife: Words from the heart
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Malcolm
You are full of confidence in your writing and always strike me as a very intuitive person. Now I do not want to upset you by putting this to you - but if your son was mine and the dance business was not doing him any good. I would put a time limit on how long he pursued this so hard - if it was more of the same, I would focus on the talents that boost him up instead and make the "dance" a much lesser part of his life. Life is too short to feel sad or inadequate - what do you think?
posted by
Dolls-43
on August 29, 2007 at 2:21 PM
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Be sure to tell your son about how others react to his talents
and be sure to seek out a dance studio that is encouraging. I am sure that there is one out there. Don't rule out the hip-hop places. One of my younger son's soccer teammates really enjoyed the hip-hop dancing studio he went to. Another alternative, which would be great for his social confidence, is ballroom dancing with girls his age.
Good Luck!
Carl Peter
posted by
cpklapper
on August 28, 2007 at 6:33 PM
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Malcolm
I am sorry you feel this way but yes, as parents we have to look to ourselves. My only concern regarding my son is that he doesn't regret what might have been. I try to tell him about the choices he has now.
"after having all confidence crushed out of him by a succession of ex-dancers who thought they would try teaching when their mediocre careers came to an end, is convinced that he is worthless - not just in dance but everything else."
I was struck by this remark about the dance teachers. I think you could look closely at your description of the teachers for self-insight. You put the blame squarely on the teachers, and regard them as mediocre. Not a good starting point. Many people end up having mediocre careers with dreams unfulfilled but they are also humans who have tried.
Tell your boy to prove them wrong.
If a teacher is not giving and supportive, find another.
posted by
Azur
on August 28, 2007 at 5:43 PM
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malcolm
Fifteen is a difficult age for boys and girls alike. Working through it can be overwhelming for them. Keep having faith in him, and keep appreciating him. Those things are so important on the outcome.
posted by
TAPS.
on August 28, 2007 at 7:34 AM
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self worth is taught u are worthy of u gotta think highly of urself so that others will think it of u
posted by
Complete_Balance
on August 28, 2007 at 6:51 AM
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Growing up pains. Get help if necessary. Generally, more exposure through workshops, camps etc can build up confidence. I have seen younger children change through exposure. A teen should be able to adapt much better.
posted by
A-and-B
on August 28, 2007 at 6:42 AM
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Malcolm,
This post breaks my heart. I sometimes suffer from this same feeling, but in the eyes of God who made us, we are ALL worthy. I hope you and your son will remember this.
Peace and blessings to you both...
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on August 28, 2007 at 6:20 AM
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malcom
I would have never thought that of you...You always seem quite confident to me just from the little I have read of you..Maybe your son is going through the teenage phase and will exit it with all the confidence in the world? I sure hope so for the both of you...
posted by
Offy
on August 28, 2007 at 6:03 AM
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