Go to Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)
- Add a comment
- Go to Dealing With Someone Who Is Potentially Very Bad News
Are those two sentences even at all related, Dave?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 14, 2007 at 11:09 AM
| link to this | reply
Um, because I didn't feel like going, A + B.
Also, technically, I was "sick". In a way.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 14, 2007 at 11:08 AM
| link to this | reply
Be sure to update us on this story. We need to know the outcome. I can't sleep.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on September 14, 2007 at 6:42 AM
| link to this | reply
Why are you CUTTING school?
posted by
A-and-B
on September 13, 2007 at 8:04 PM
| link to this | reply
Manon would totally chicken out at the last second, riri. I know she would.
So I'm just gonna go ask him about it, directly. I'm only waiting until the school day officially ends, so no one catches me cutting.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 11:20 AM
| link to this | reply
you rip the beard off while a friend takes a face shot and then run
posted by
riri0322
on September 13, 2007 at 11:14 AM
| link to this | reply
Yes, Straightforward, except for one key difference:
The wig goes on the top of the head.
Oh, and also, how could it be a "fake wig"? That would mean it's actually your real hair.
Think about it.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 11:08 AM
| link to this | reply
iSN'T WEARING A FAKE BEARD SOMETHING LIKE WEARING A FAKE WIG?
posted by
Straightforward
on September 13, 2007 at 10:57 AM
| link to this | reply
That's another interesting theory, Pat B ...
He doesn't really look like a student, though.
Plus then I assume he'd have to be going to some sort of a night school.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 10:10 AM
| link to this | reply
It's probably an experiment for a psych class -- wear a clearly fake beard
and write down how people react to it. Probably has a video cam mounted behind Field & Stream on the back wall to document behavior tics among the newspaper buying demographic.
posted by
Pat_B
on September 13, 2007 at 9:52 AM
| link to this | reply
Well, Troosha, the truth (hopefully) shall be revealed a few hours from now.
I'm going to try to catch him at the end of his "shift". I can't go sooner for fear of being caught cutting class, um, being sick.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 9:11 AM
| link to this | reply
I have a longstanding feud with the Amish, Frankenkitty ...
Dating back to a bizarre incident which occurred outside the Reptile House at the Philadelphia Zoo.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 9:08 AM
| link to this | reply
Mybe the poor guy just can't grow a beard of his own
and he thinks he looks dapper sporting one. But even that would fall into the quirky category.
posted by
Troosha
on September 13, 2007 at 8:22 AM
| link to this | reply
Well that's a dilemma I've
never heard of before. Maybe he's Amish and is follically challenged in his face? Or not. Very strange. Take care
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on September 13, 2007 at 6:14 AM
| link to this | reply
Simultaneously, Offy?
I'm probably not going to school today (because I'm "sick"), however, I may still pay "Weird Beard" a little visit.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 6:05 AM
| link to this | reply
I think you should definitely confront him...I bet he wears brown and gray socks too!
These types have to be taken very seriously ya know
posted by
Offy
on September 13, 2007 at 5:52 AM
| link to this | reply
Good morning, A + B.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 5:47 AM
| link to this | reply
No, Dave. But he did make a memorable (two-part) guest appearance on "Seinfeld".
In which, he briefly dated Elaine, and later wanted Jerry to help him move.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 5:46 AM
| link to this | reply
I found one. Was he once a carpet-fitter?
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on September 13, 2007 at 5:25 AM
| link to this | reply
Good morning.
posted by
A-and-B
on September 13, 2007 at 5:23 AM
| link to this | reply
I have to see if I can find a picture of Keith. I'll be so gladdox if I find one.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on September 13, 2007 at 5:21 AM
| link to this | reply
Thanks for dropping by, 7stars.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 5:18 AM
| link to this | reply
Former Mets 1st Basemen Keith Hernandez recently won the title of "All-time Best Sports Mustache", Dave ...
In a stunning upset over Rollie Fingers.
P.S. "Maddox"?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 5:18 AM
| link to this | reply
posted by
star4sky5
on September 13, 2007 at 5:14 AM
| link to this | reply
Maddox, I believe he might be practising for the World Beard Championships, the title of which is currently held by a German, I believe. He is attempting to win the title by cheating and he is testing it out on passersby or passerbys. For his own sake, you need to tell him that he will be spotted by the judges. Last year's winner only won by a whisker, but any bogus beardies would soon be spotted. Tell him. It is your duty.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on September 13, 2007 at 4:58 AM
| link to this | reply
But that might be over-stepping the bounds of decorum, Dolls ...
I think I'll just try to grab the beard and rip it off.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:45 AM
| link to this | reply
The problem, Whacky, is that he seems to work primarily during school hours ...
Later in the day, his son or daughter (I'm not sure which it is) takes over.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:42 AM
| link to this | reply
Matie, one time, I was positive I had seen a photo of the school janitor hanging on the wall in the post office.
Turned out not to be him, though.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:39 AM
| link to this | reply
If only I could, A + B ...
It's just not in my nature.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:36 AM
| link to this | reply
What's your point, Enigmatic?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:36 AM
| link to this | reply
That actually happened to Andy Warhol during a book signing, Ariala ...
Some girl grabbed his wig, and tossed it out the window (into the arms of a waiting accomplice).
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:35 AM
| link to this | reply
Jewish newspaper guys are religiously obligated to wear fake beards, Soul Builder?
One of my mother's coworkers' brothers is a rabbi, and he doesn't even sport a beard (fake or otherwise).
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:33 AM
| link to this | reply
Which government is that, Tattered?
I've certainly never heard that theory before.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:30 AM
| link to this | reply
Not sure about that, ModernBoz ...
Although, nevertheless, I do plan to confront him (a couple hours from now).
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 13, 2007 at 4:28 AM
| link to this | reply
Madamoiselle
My guess is this chap has got an enormous zit on his chin and low self esteem. Try giving him a tube of clearasil and a friendly squeeze!
posted by
Dolls-43
on September 13, 2007 at 3:46 AM
| link to this | reply
Maybe you could just keep an eye on him?
Roses
from me and Bo =^..^= the wonder dog!
posted by
Whacky
on September 12, 2007 at 8:42 PM
| link to this | reply
Maybe he is on the FBI 'Most Wanted' list?
posted by
Matie
on September 12, 2007 at 8:38 PM
| link to this | reply
Ignore him.
posted by
A-and-B
on September 12, 2007 at 6:52 PM
| link to this | reply
Mademoiselle
posted by
Enigmatic68
on September 12, 2007 at 5:02 PM
| link to this | reply
LOL, there's only one thing TO do...grab it and run!
posted by
Ariala
on September 12, 2007 at 4:12 PM
| link to this | reply
Mademoiselle
A clue might be his religion!
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on September 12, 2007 at 2:12 PM
| link to this | reply
mademoiselle
I personally do not believe this myth, but the government says it is true
posted by
Tattered_Knight
on September 12, 2007 at 1:28 PM
| link to this | reply
Ask him
You may get the most amazing answer of your life.
posted by
ModernBoz
on September 12, 2007 at 1:27 PM
| link to this | reply
Only criminals have "beady eyes", Tattered?
And vice versa?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 1:25 PM
| link to this | reply
You should ask him, "Excuse me, what time is it?"
And he might just press the wrong recording and reply, "One dollar and twenty-five cents."
posted by
bandanafish
on September 12, 2007 at 1:22 PM
| link to this | reply
mademoiselle
Does he have beady eyes? If so, go to the nearest police station. If not, ask him about it and see what his reaction is. Depending upon the reaction, go to the nearest police station
posted by
Tattered_Knight
on September 12, 2007 at 1:22 PM
| link to this | reply
You sound like you might be "speaking from experience", bandana?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 1:21 PM
| link to this | reply
Re: "Not with that raspy voice"
Maybe "he" is lip syncing all these time, and that "he" has a recorder hidden under the stand with only a few pre-recorded phrases, like a deep, "Thank you". "See you tomorrow"... you know, stuff like that. You should test him tomorrow.
posted by
bandanafish
on September 12, 2007 at 1:19 PM
| link to this | reply
I'm not just basing my theory on the residue, Saul ...
(That would be crazy.)
The hair itself appears fake to me, also. Almost like the bristles on a paintbrush.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 1:18 PM
| link to this | reply
What if the poor guy just has dry skin, M.? I mean, jeez, how embarrassing
for the guy would that be? "Hey, Mr. Kiosk, I see by the whitish residue there that you have a fake beard. What's new in the spy biz?" To which he looks dumbfounded, face turning red, scratches away the dead skin, and says, "What the hell are talking about, young lady?"
posted by
saul_relative
on September 12, 2007 at 1:10 PM
| link to this | reply
That's not a bad theory, FineYoungSinger, but I can't imagine that this could be a, uh, "drag king".
Not with that raspy voice!
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 1:08 PM
| link to this | reply
I don't know if I'd go to the police over a guy wearing a fake beard...
Though I would make it a point to say, "hey, dude, you have some spirit gum dripping along your ear" then find me another news stand....but that's me
Hey, who knows..."he" might just be a very clever crossdresser.
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on September 12, 2007 at 12:56 PM
| link to this | reply
Don't try to confuse me with your reasoning and logic, bandana!
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 12:49 PM
| link to this | reply
Well, Spinner, I do carry a trial-size can of hairspray in my purse at all times ...
I guess that's kinda like mace.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 12:47 PM
| link to this | reply
Ohhh.. you innocent young lady. Nooooo, see, if you asked him
about his beard, he would most definitely say it was real, and so, obviously,
he's calling you a liar. So go ahead. Pull his beard before he calls you a liar.
posted by
bandanafish
on September 12, 2007 at 12:41 PM
| link to this | reply
Perhaps his face has been disfigured maybe in a fire and he can not grow facial hair how knows / just ask just tell he has glue showing and smile the next ask him why he wears a fake beard and go from there. PS bring mace
posted by
spinner
on September 12, 2007 at 12:39 PM
| link to this | reply
How would that prove him wrong, bandana?
I mean, I'm pretty sure he must know it's fake.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on September 12, 2007 at 12:37 PM
| link to this | reply
Now, what's holding you back from going for 100%?
I'd say go for it. Pull his fake beard and prove both Manon and the
newsstand guy wrong!
posted by
bandanafish
on September 12, 2007 at 12:33 PM
| link to this | reply