Comments on Unyielding Star

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Re: Sorry, but I am in a proof reading mood

he's 16 jesus just read it and keep the technical shit out

 

posted by Shanlizer88 on January 5, 2008 at 10:44 PM | link to this | reply

hope things get better...

posted by star4sky5 on January 4, 2008 at 5:31 PM | link to this | reply

hope things get better...

posted by star4sky5 on January 4, 2008 at 5:31 PM | link to this | reply

Sorry, but I am in a proof reading mood
"Your" is frequently used where "you're" is meant.  Also, I believe you mean "break" rather than "brake".  Otherwise, this is not a bad poem.

 


posted by cpklapper on January 3, 2008 at 10:30 AM | link to this | reply

Okay, time to stop the pain.  I liked the imagery and the very well placed rhyme.  sam

posted by sam444 on January 2, 2008 at 8:03 PM | link to this | reply