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- Go to HELP! My first born is finally leaving home…….
Aw this tugged at my heart...one breath at a time and one day at a time, you will grow with his growth - and the cycle continues on and on. ~
Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on March 19, 2008 at 6:53 AM
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mariaki
I am sure you'll be able to cope with the situation. I have two sons aged 23 and 21 and both away, the eder one, since the age of sixteen, but we stay well connected. But I can inderstand your pain as a mother.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on March 18, 2008 at 9:45 PM
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Maria, what a beautiful and sincere poem, I was there 4 times, All my four children have gone now on their own. The three girls are married and the boy is living in his own apartment. He is only 21 and he still brings me his laundry :-) Its very hard the first time. You will spend sleepless nights wondering where he is and what he is doing. With a boy its worse than with a girl because you can not keep close tabs, but if you are smart about it you can still monitor him without his finding out about it :-). Just be his friends' friend. You will be surprised what a kid does for a home cooked meal. Have their phones. Call them to see how they are, and in between niceties, ask how yours is. Friends are eager to tell you all the trouble your darling is getting into lol Oh, and the girlfriends, those are the best source of information. Be ever so nice to them, wether you like them or not, and they will spill the beans every time. Be careful though, do not fall in love with them. I made that mistake with my son's first serious one and when they broke up it was harder for me than for him. I still miss that girl :-( Anyway, You will be OK, just trust all that you taught him and then...spy loll. Take care of you
posted by
Sinome
on March 18, 2008 at 9:26 PM
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Put him on speed dial! LOL! It will help!
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on March 18, 2008 at 4:09 PM
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Dear mariaki-I believe that you may feel proud of BOTH of you! You as his
Mother-have taught and guided him well-in order for him to believe he CAN make it out there-on his own! Also for your Son to have the Courage and Love to enable him to speak with you and plan this move into a new world-both working and living as an independent young man! Congratulations-to you both! Yes-you will miss him and need-(after a short period of time coming to terms with your'loss'-for loss it will be)-to adjust to the world as a uniquely independent person yourself! SAY-all you feel you want to say to him-before he leaves home!Be certain he understands that the door is always open to him-and of course-how much you Love him! I have 'been there' and it hurts for a while-but you WILL adjust!God bless.Chris.
posted by
Scramble
on March 18, 2008 at 1:52 PM
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It is a slow ajustment and when you think they are gone, they show up with laundry, they are hungry, need a quick shower, call a few friends and so forth. So they are never really gone, they just give one a short break! sam
posted by
sam444
on March 18, 2008 at 10:51 AM
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Just have patience and you will be able to adjust to the new situation
after sometime . I can relate to your feelings because I was also deserted in a similar way by many in my life including my sons.
posted by
afzal50
on March 18, 2008 at 7:26 AM
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This is lovely, maria
posted by
Kayzzaman
on March 18, 2008 at 6:25 AM
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Mariaki
I cam by for my morning injection of Mariaki's positive reinforcement only to find that you are struggling with the thought of your son moving out. My only words of wisdom - think of it as a time to redefine
you. As your poem says, he can always come home and your home will be his always. This is a time to celebrate a new phase in both your lives. View it not as a chapter coming to an end but a new one beginning. Blessings to you in CY...
posted by
Troosha
on March 18, 2008 at 6:18 AM
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Hugs
Never been on your side of this equation, but I can tell you that just because your son is moving out it doesn't mean he's leaving... I moved out years ago and still need my mum's help and support sometimes. The only difference now is that we can really enjoy each other's company when we see each other.
posted by
lionreign
on March 18, 2008 at 5:03 AM
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oh sweetheart...sorry to hear that...i may not have an appropriate tip for you love, for i'm way too naive yet in that aspect of life...(scares me too with my own son someday) however, if i may say so, perhaps you can focus on the positive side of the coin my love...Yes, finally your little boy is all grown up (be happy), he now has the vigor of eagle wings to fly on his own (be proud), as he walks out of the door, brave and strong; you have yourself to commend for shaping up a fine man out of him (be fulfilled), as he waves goodbye, it means he has now reason to come back and visit his beloved mother and chat on sunday coffee (Be excited), as you close the door behind him, feel the sense of pride, "your young boy has made his way to find his own place on this world (Feel blessed). Sweetheart i don't know if i made sense...I hope you eventually feel better about the whole idea...with love always; Jen
posted by
__Purple_Mermaid11__
on March 18, 2008 at 4:11 AM
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