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- Go to c4 of 5 (Warning - graphic description)
Very well written
posted by
Sinome
on April 12, 2008 at 12:15 PM
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Re: breath taking description, Sorry about the bad memories Pel ---
Thank you very much for you comments in spite of the negative memories
posted by
jefco
on April 12, 2008 at 12:03 PM
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breath taking description,
very well done. It's bringing me bad memories, but well, good that someone brings such an thing in a story.
posted by
pelagus
on April 12, 2008 at 7:16 AM
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ooooooh, creepy
Wonderfully written, it still gave me an odd feeling as if Cindy was being raped but couldn't stop the sensual feeling of a huge, hard cock ramming in and out of her. I must admit that it made me uncomfortable as a woman, because I've had friends, wives, who have been "Had" in such a manner and they were more scared than turned on. So you created the mood and the feelings through your writing. I'll come back for further installments. Good job!
CEE
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on April 12, 2008 at 5:10 AM
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Re: Aw Mermaid!! I am truly sorry to bring up such bad memories
and that you had to suffer them.
It makes your willingness to comment very, very special.
posted by
jefco
on April 11, 2008 at 11:54 PM
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i hate the feeling it brings back to my memory lane my dear friend...not exactly the same but as horrible as it can get for any woman within my race.... cindy may have the temporal bliss but the aftermath may haunt her forever....you did very well my dear friend...yes, maybe a little more on the torture of cindy's emotion or the horrid angst of the predator, i guess...but all in all i vote for your writing my dear....
(please send cindy home alive).
posted by
__Purple_Mermaid11__
on April 11, 2008 at 11:18 PM
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Interesting and highly absorbing read !
posted by
afzal50
on April 11, 2008 at 10:44 PM
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I'm sorry, I'm giggling at the comments...this is so graphic yes...made me squint my eyes sometimes
but, then I got on my bifocals. You're a writer ~
Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on April 11, 2008 at 8:48 PM
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posted by
CRShelley
on April 11, 2008 at 7:05 PM
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Re: Thankyou for the input serendipity09, I will see what I can do in c5
As for Cindy....... you'll have to read the next installment
posted by
jefco
on April 11, 2008 at 6:43 PM
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Re: I am sorry Sam it is after all just a story.
posted by
jefco
on April 11, 2008 at 6:40 PM
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This is twisted. Intense. Well written at least. But i was once told by a very smart blogger that it's not enough to tell what happens....you have to make the reader feel how the characters are feeling. Share their thoughts, they're emotion. Everything they feel about everything that happens. But you do write very descriptively in other aspects. Like situations and scenery. I hope things get better for Cindy
posted by
serendipity09
on April 11, 2008 at 5:27 PM
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Sounds like Cindy is having fun.......at least, I hope so.
posted by
ZenMom
on April 11, 2008 at 3:32 PM
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I had hoped she would get away from the mess. sam
posted by
sam444
on April 11, 2008 at 2:37 PM
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