Comments on Women Don't Ask

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elysianfields, you're welcome.

posted by Greenfields on April 21, 2008 at 6:30 PM | link to this | reply

Re: elysianfields
Very true Greenfields  great ~ thank you Elyse

posted by elysianfields on April 20, 2008 at 7:53 PM | link to this | reply

elysianfields
we all are not assertive , because we have been socialised not to be.  So, actually, as Babcock points out, it is not so much nature as nuture.  Cheers.

posted by Greenfields on April 19, 2008 at 8:34 PM | link to this | reply

sam444
Well, it's never too late to start being more assertive!

posted by Greenfields on April 19, 2008 at 8:29 PM | link to this | reply

Loribeth215
You are so right.  I think if each woman were to think of her experiene - at the workplace and in relationships - we would find that it is true.  We expect others to read our mind and are hurt and upset if they don't! 

posted by Greenfields on April 19, 2008 at 8:28 PM | link to this | reply

ZenMom
Haha.  No, you haven't taken over my blog.  I am so happy to read what you wrote.  And, that if we women were socialised to take better care of ourselves, it might not come to this!  However, I do think that this generation of women can unlearn what they have become socialised to learn.  The responsibility still rests with the parents and families, who are are first teachers in any woman's life.  Yes?

posted by Greenfields on April 19, 2008 at 8:26 PM | link to this | reply

Purple Mermaid11, what do you think of this topic? I would love to hear.

posted by Greenfields on April 19, 2008 at 8:23 PM | link to this | reply

Great blog note Greenfields...I am just not assertive enough but, for some reason am just content with being able to accept and go on --- I'm not as assertive as I should be - this I know.  ach! my nature - Elyse

posted by elysianfields on April 19, 2008 at 4:52 PM | link to this | reply

Re:
This strikes a chord with me because I work in HR and literally see women doing 4 times the work for half the pay of their male counterparts. Sometimes the people--- who are usually women--- that hold up an entire office but get paid the less than anyone in the department.

posted by Loribeth215 on April 19, 2008 at 3:00 PM | link to this | reply

This is an eye opener. I think women need to be more assertive. When i think back to my working years and one male administrator said I was paid peanuts for the work I did. It never occurred to me that I had an option to negotiate due to fear of losing my position. I should have made much ado about something.  sam

posted by sam444 on April 19, 2008 at 11:15 AM | link to this | reply

It's Absolutely true---especially in the workplace

 We often don't ask for what we want! Not only have we been conditioned to believe that it's not proper for us to ask, women also have a mindset of "well, they should know how much I'm worth."  This goes hand in hand with the another mindset I have found amongst women at work that's almost as deadly: "well, if they could afford to pay me more, they would." No. You have to tell them what you want. And if they don't give it to you, leave.

The same is true with relationships. How many of us stay in relationships that we know are not working, because we won't demand from our partners what we want? Because it might make somebody upset, or they might want to leave us?

posted by Loribeth215 on April 19, 2008 at 8:44 AM | link to this | reply

I must agree on this point; women have been conditioned to expect less.......do more. I have only begun to expect more out of life w/in the last 5 years and I'll tell you why. Before then, I was working a full-time job, raising a family, while negotiating my way through a new marriage (with 3 more children). I was just too damn BUSY and STRESSED OUT to stop for a moment and give ANY consideration to HOW I WAS FEELING about life. Then I was diagnosed w/ MS and forced to retire. (retire at 45? - to tell the truth - it was forced disability retirement.) This retirement gave me the TIME I needed to meditate, read good books, take long walks, practice yoga and finally study t'ai chi. So, I have passed this along to my sisters and friends. TAKE TIME - even if it's 30 minutes a day to REFLECT quietly on the path your life is taking. It take inner strength to navigate life - I'm trying to pass this on to my 18 yr. old daughter. I don't think she gets it.

(sorry. looks like i hijacked your blog) Namaste

posted by ZenMom on April 19, 2008 at 7:49 AM | link to this | reply


posted by __Purple_Mermaid11__ on April 18, 2008 at 11:20 PM | link to this | reply