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You're not being silly at all
Even if he didn't appreciate the true value of the gift, he should have had enough manners to at least act like he was grateful. Any gift, regardless of material or personal value, deserves some measure of appreciation!
If he were my "friend", I think that's the last time he'd be getting a present from me--I'll save my gift-giving efforts for those who appreciate it!
posted by
Sira890
on May 7, 2008 at 7:36 AM
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Vogue
The specific 'ritual' around giving and receiving gifts vary from culture to culture, but they usually are simultaneously an expression as well as a re-affirmation of an existing bond. But it literally needs to be expressed somehow, made visible, be enacted. If it's not, it's an indication there really is no bond. In this case, we have an example of an unfortunate assymetry - you thought of this man as a friend, but he may not have thought of you that way.
It's sad that you lost your prized piece. But my suspicion is that this man, who 'has everything', either has no real friends at all, or is incapable of thinking of people as such...
posted by
Nautikos
on May 7, 2008 at 7:29 AM
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I'm sorry to say this man is no true friend. you poor luv. I feel like
popping in to his house and lifting it and giving it back to you. Bad manners is never acceptable in any society and that's for sure. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HE MAKES ME MAD.
posted by
Kabu
on May 6, 2008 at 10:15 PM
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It's not you, it seems he's an unappreciative so-called-friend.
Sorry you parted with something so special to you.
posted by
Kolekshuns
on May 6, 2008 at 7:09 PM
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...thanks for reading...and thanks for your comment...you have helped me get some ideas...
posted by
_mai_
on May 6, 2008 at 4:52 PM
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His reaction tells you a lot about your friend. Too bad it was such an expensive lesson - emotionally and financially. Moon 
posted by
magic_moon
on May 6, 2008 at 4:13 PM
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I give and then that is that! If they appreciate it, they will let you know. sam
posted by
sam444
on May 6, 2008 at 12:57 PM
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I would have felt the same way. I think Americans just
too much stuff to appreciate things. I know I'm trying
to cut back. Who needs all this stuff??? I would rather
have a few nice things possible given to me by a sweet
friend.
posted by
Samantha39
on May 6, 2008 at 12:52 PM
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vogue
how rude, sounds like he is wee bit on he phoney side
posted by
Lanetay
on May 6, 2008 at 12:14 PM
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Your ungrateful "friend."
In my opinion, the man needed to have some sense slapped into him! How unfeeling and insensitive can someone be? I suspect that he wasn't being honest with you when he admired the jar. If someone is being ingenuous, you have to wonder why he was buttering you up, in the first place. He was probably trying to get something more from you, and you are fortunate to have dodged a bullet when he showed his true colors. Although this lesson cost you a treasured possession, you now realize that you almost certainly would have lost much more, learning the same lesson, eventually. Maybe he was hoping that it was still full of opium!
If Karma is real, you and he will both get what you truly have coming to you. You will be much happier with how things turn out, than he will.
Guy
posted by
northsage_45
on May 6, 2008 at 11:31 AM
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Awww
~ no, you're not being silly dear Vogue...that's hurtful --- that's 'rude' ~ just a mis-judgement it appears. I'm that way at times...and I will try to take note here of how to hone it more.
~Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on May 6, 2008 at 8:07 AM
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No vogue, you're not at all being silly. I don't blame you for being a bit miffed. Frankly, I find your friend's lack of appreciation downright rude.
Just out of curiosity, are you from Germany originally?
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on May 6, 2008 at 7:51 AM
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hi there vogue
just dropping in to tell you to come over check out my articles over at Associated Content. already I've bumped into Ciel, Mysteria and Avante over there. Would be good to see you there too - come say hello. Same name over there too -
Jaahda :-)
posted by
Jaahda
on May 6, 2008 at 7:12 AM
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No my dear you are not being silly!
You chose a gift with much thought and renching of the heart! I am sorry to say that I find your friend highly selfish and ungrateful; I trust you learnt a worthy lesson! Thanks for sharing and God bless
posted by
mariaki
on May 6, 2008 at 5:23 AM
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You had an emotional attachment to the gift, which he apparently
does not. In truth, he may have been less interested in art and antiquities than he seemed to be. You've learned something valuable, and now you've got a reason to shop for a nicer collectible to fill the spot your gift came from.
posted by
Pat_B
on May 6, 2008 at 5:21 AM
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Your "friend" is obviously not as thoughtful as you are. When I was a kid we didn't get much and although we wished for more expensive things we knew it wasn't really affordable and at least pretended that we really liked it if we didn't so as not to hurt our parents feelings. I guess times change and to those who have many possessions neither gifts nor friendship mean much.
posted by
AardigeAfrikaner
on May 6, 2008 at 4:35 AM
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