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Great poetry _ I actually envisioned Pink Floyd's "The Wall" ~
--- Great poetry ~ You're an Artist!~ Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on July 27, 2008 at 11:56 AM
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MarineAir it's always a great ride with you
posted by
Smittenheimer
on July 26, 2008 at 11:53 PM
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Marineair, I had a Mom whom this reminds me of..her way of "pushing" was
simply to say, "You can do better than that." (it helped, but it hurt, too)
This is an interesting format I haven't seen in quite some time..
...
posted by
Rumor
on July 25, 2008 at 9:04 PM
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Good work buddy
excellent choice of subject for this exercise -very effective
posted by
lionreign
on July 25, 2008 at 12:45 PM
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Mama, can you hear me
. I feel it now, trying to finish my screenplay. Take care, BCA , “Top of the Stairs” 
posted by
BC-A
on July 25, 2008 at 5:13 AM
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Superbly done my friend!
This is a style I really like - it has a a certain flow that other forms lack..... very well done; thank you and God bless
posted by
mariaki
on July 25, 2008 at 3:19 AM
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Sheer brilliance...
posted by
DeeJay101
on July 25, 2008 at 1:49 AM
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posted by
NiteTide
on July 24, 2008 at 6:21 PM
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beautiful
posted by
Star5_
on July 24, 2008 at 5:37 PM
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Marineair, It definitely speaks to me. As mother of four sons and grandmother of eight grandsons, I've probably done my share of attempting to encourage and stand with and for the young man fighting for growing and doing what is right. You did a good job here.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 24, 2008 at 4:23 PM
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Sweet
posted by
NiqueKennon
on July 24, 2008 at 3:57 PM
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Not a girl, not yet a woman
I hate to quote Brittney Spears, but...
Very interesting angle of the build up. Think I might try that one day 
posted by
Lotus_Flower
on July 24, 2008 at 3:53 PM
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Very nicely done
For so many it is a hallow cry for help in the passage to adulthood.
posted by
skye08
on July 24, 2008 at 3:06 PM
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