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Re: Luz, could this be burial at Sea? --Bhaskar
it feels like one. the painting that inspired it looked oddly sad and yet blissful, with four people by the seaside. they look sombre, or as if they had just come from a sombre event, and yet the two women are dancing...thanks as always for your readership
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 18, 2008 at 4:10 AM
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NiteTide and Lionreign
Thanks again for reading
I'm proud that you think it's clever
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 18, 2008 at 4:08 AM
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Very clever
and yet somehow it also makes me feel incredibly sad. Very well written
posted by
lionreign
on August 18, 2008 at 2:40 AM
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Luz, could this be burial at Sea? I don't remember.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on August 18, 2008 at 12:15 AM
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This was simply stunning! Extremely well done, Luz.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on August 18, 2008 at 12:10 AM
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Clever......VERY clever! Loved it much!
posted by
NiteTide
on August 17, 2008 at 11:04 PM
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Re: Re: BWC comment
xylophone... xenon... xenomorph... x-ray... Xanadu might be a good one!
posted by
Ciel
on August 17, 2008 at 10:44 PM
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Luz Briar
Everyone including you is so smart. I never got onto it was an alphabet poem until I read some comments luv. Old age sucks, I have to blame my lack of understanding on that. But hey girl, how about xerox for the x words.
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 17, 2008 at 9:45 PM
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Rumored
the X line is still driving me nuts! i hate it! thanks for reading
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 17, 2008 at 9:15 PM
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Luz, this is quite the alphabet poem (so many poem types I've got
away from, most of my "poetry" is more prose)...I'll have to try the alphabet style again soon, just for practice sake....
(that "X" line would have driven me nuts...:)
posted by
Rumor
on August 17, 2008 at 8:19 PM
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Re: very nice....
Thank you, OnRain
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 17, 2008 at 7:36 PM
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Re: BWC comment
Thanks, Ciel, for the honest critique. this one was never one of my favorites. i hate the X line especially. the original line was
"X will never have you in woe"
meaning, X as in infinity. needless to say, i never did an alphabet poem again because what's the point when you get all the way and then you reach the damn X
and nobody uses X words except maybe Xenophobia.
i guess it's all about experimenting.
I'm enjoying the HERETICS very much, and that's what's got me hooked!
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 17, 2008 at 7:35 PM
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Re: This is breathtaking
Thanks, Bel!
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 17, 2008 at 7:32 PM
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very nice....
posted by
Star5_
on August 17, 2008 at 7:30 PM
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BWC comment
The thing about form is that you have to work at the words and wording, to achieve success. To do an alphabet poem like this, using the entire alphabet is especially challenging, when you get to 'X' and here, the use of a word so obscure just to fulfill the form just doesn't quite work.
That out of the way, on the rest of it, you have achieved the goal with beauty! I was really impressed with how well the words and images flow despite the form's requirements.
There was one little sticky spot: "orb" rarely works outside a Victorian style. Oh, and with spiders... 
Thanks, Luz, for all your really encouraging comments over in THE HERETICS. You are keeping me going more than anyone, in continuing to polish up and post the chapters!
posted by
Ciel
on August 17, 2008 at 6:55 PM
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This is breathtaking
posted by
Bel_
on August 17, 2008 at 5:19 PM
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Summer Night
Inspired by a romantic painting I saw. I've forgotten the title and the artist, I'm sad to say, but the painting was of a beach at night. There were two women dancing together, and two men sulking in the shadows. The artist may have been John Constable, or J. M. W. Turner. If there are any art experts here, maybe you can tell me what painting I'm thinking of.
This is an alphabet poem.
posted by
Luz_Briar
on August 17, 2008 at 2:44 PM
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