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your poems make me want to try my hand at one again
posted by
Lanetay
on December 11, 2009 at 9:51 AM
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Good flow and imagery until 'conform" and "paradigm"
which is out of place amidst all of the running, turning and so forth. Other authors express the notion as "The Dance of Death", e.g. Strindberg's play, and dancing is also a way to move ones body. You may have yet another image that you would prefer, but "conforming to a paradigm" is a jarring abstraction veering into sermonizing. Replacing it would, I think, greatly improve the poem.
Carl
posted by
cpklapper
on December 10, 2009 at 8:53 AM
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BRAVO!
posted by
Blue_feathers
on December 10, 2009 at 8:33 AM
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What a beautiful picture and flow of words and form!
posted by
Nita09
on December 10, 2009 at 6:48 AM
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Hello friend Sinome
The river without its knowledge, meanders its way towards the sea, egged on by some mystic force, as if it were its own yearning from within. Likewise man, if he allows himself to drift, and this comes after a lot of penance, purification, devotion, realization, let-go, he merges with its source, the Supreme self, God Himself, from where we come, just as the rivers, merging with the seas, becomes the sea itself. Thoroughly enjoyed the great metaphoric meaning behind your excellent philosophical post. xoxoxo
.
posted by
anib
on December 9, 2009 at 11:02 PM
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Sinome
Beautiful! There is something magical about a lazily flowing river...
posted by
Nautikos
on December 9, 2009 at 7:04 PM
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It is magnetizing, how we all flow like this! Excellent imagery, too1 I loved your comment at my blog! What a fix he's in! sammie loves you dearly!
posted by
sam444
on December 9, 2009 at 5:23 PM
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Ah for a day to simply watch that river run - to grasp at dreams and let them stream --- this really is an awesome, inspirational poem - xoxox Sinome, so glad to read you - Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on December 9, 2009 at 8:49 AM
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First and foremost--thank you so much for tasking the trouble and voting for me. Secondly. nobody could have expressed better what I feel when I look over my terrace every morning when the sun comes up and contemplate the Miami river flowing just below. When do you come visit and look for yourself?
posted by
vogue
on December 9, 2009 at 2:04 AM
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Wow Sinome!! Very strong comparison to the blind rush that I find myself in during this holiday season!
posted by
calia14
on December 8, 2009 at 9:50 PM
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Such a fitting metaphor the river is for our dreams.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on December 8, 2009 at 7:21 PM
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I watch the river as it flows through our local town I watch it when it
freezes over and they ice fish on it. I too wonder about its adventures.
posted by
Kabu
on December 8, 2009 at 3:06 PM
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Sinome - I always love where your imagination takes you. How many people think about the river and where it is going and what is missing?
Like always you write beautiful and thank you for sharing such a nice poem. Chuck.
posted by
Chuck_E_Ibrahim
on December 8, 2009 at 2:57 PM
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