Comments on As the river runs... so do we

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your poems make me want to try my hand at one again

posted by Lanetay on December 11, 2009 at 9:51 AM | link to this | reply

Good flow and imagery until 'conform" and "paradigm"
which is out of place amidst all of the running, turning and so forth.  Other authors express the notion as "The Dance of Death", e.g. Strindberg's play, and dancing is also a way to move ones body.  You may have yet another image that you would prefer, but "conforming to a paradigm" is a jarring abstraction veering into sermonizing.  Replacing it would, I think, greatly improve the poem.


Carl


posted by cpklapper on December 10, 2009 at 8:53 AM | link to this | reply

BRAVO!

posted by Blue_feathers on December 10, 2009 at 8:33 AM | link to this | reply

What a beautiful picture and flow of words and form!

posted by Nita09 on December 10, 2009 at 6:48 AM | link to this | reply

Hello friend Sinome
The river without its knowledge, meanders its way towards the sea, egged on by some mystic force, as if it were its own yearning from within. Likewise man, if he allows himself to drift, and this comes after a lot of penance, purification, devotion, realization, let-go, he merges with its source, the Supreme self, God Himself, from where we come, just as the rivers, merging with the seas, becomes the sea itself. Thoroughly enjoyed the great metaphoric meaning behind your excellent philosophical post. xoxoxo .

posted by anib on December 9, 2009 at 11:02 PM | link to this | reply

Sinome
Beautiful! There is something magical about a lazily flowing river...

posted by Nautikos on December 9, 2009 at 7:04 PM | link to this | reply

It is magnetizing, how we all flow like this! Excellent imagery, too1 I loved your comment at my blog! What a fix he's in! sammie loves you dearly!

posted by sam444 on December 9, 2009 at 5:23 PM | link to this | reply

Ah for a day to simply watch that river run - to grasp at dreams and let them stream --- this really is an awesome, inspirational poem - xoxox Sinome, so glad to read you - Elyse

posted by elysianfields on December 9, 2009 at 8:49 AM | link to this | reply

First and foremost--thank you so much for tasking the trouble and voting for me. Secondly. nobody could have expressed better what I feel when I look over my terrace every morning when the sun comes up and contemplate the Miami river flowing just below. When do you come visit and look for yourself?

posted by vogue on December 9, 2009 at 2:04 AM | link to this | reply

Wow Sinome!!  Very strong comparison to the blind rush that I find myself in during this holiday season! 

posted by calia14 on December 8, 2009 at 9:50 PM | link to this | reply

Such a fitting metaphor the river is for our dreams.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on December 8, 2009 at 7:21 PM | link to this | reply

I watch the river as it flows through our local town I watch it when it
freezes over and they ice fish on it. I too wonder about its adventures.

posted by Kabu on December 8, 2009 at 3:06 PM | link to this | reply

Sinome - I always love where your imagination takes you. How many people think about the river and where it is going and what is missing?  Like always you write beautiful and    thank you for sharing such a nice poem.       Chuck.

posted by Chuck_E_Ibrahim on December 8, 2009 at 2:57 PM | link to this | reply