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honestly i would be upset too
posted by
MiaElla
on October 9, 2010 at 9:36 PM
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posted by
Cheerygirl
on October 9, 2010 at 2:42 PM
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I will add a sub clause to my recommendation and that is while books like those i mentioned can be helpful it's also good to be aware of the expectations they may set up. People stick to patterns pretty closely. And as to "
Am I wrong to feel hurt? " None of your feelings are wrong, they are your feelings.
posted by
Azur
on October 8, 2010 at 10:18 AM
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sm7, have you seen "Looking for Amanda"? Great film about a guy who loves and needs his spouse, but lies and steals from her. He's a daming addict. In the end he goes to rehab. I'm sure that's not the same, but he acted like your guy.
posted by
dsm_tchr
on October 7, 2010 at 4:01 PM
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Hey silvermoon7 it's great to have you back!
Honey, what I would say is this...if this guy isn't making much of an effort to include you in other parts of his life, including meeting his children...maybe it should end. At least, temporarily. If its been six months and he's still keeping the secret it's not worth the pain it's causing you. You have every right to expect certain things from this relationship, but if he isn't willing to give them maybe it's best just to say goodbye and move on.
Of course, maybe you just need a cooling off period. It may just be the kick in the ass this guy needs. I'm not suggesting you take my advice-God knows I'm not the best source when it comes to relationships with men. But something doesn't smell right to me here and I wouldn't want you to end up getting hurt.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on October 7, 2010 at 3:55 PM
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Lovely One...go to that cabin. Let him do the 'walking'...
if he's worth the sad eyes he will come to you. In the meantime, what Azur said.
Women...geez!
posted by
teddypoet_TheGoodByeFade
on October 7, 2010 at 3:02 PM
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Yes, I would let him know that you are disappointed, that you were looking forward to the time together.
But still chill. Use this time to relax and be open to an infinite range of possibilities. It's a bit hokey I know but it's true.
Love.
posted by
Azur
on October 7, 2010 at 2:45 PM
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It's a difference of perspective
And one where you need to better understand yourself and each other. I am staying at a friend's and have been reading a book by David Deida. There is one called The Way Of The Superior Man, and there is one called Dear Lover, A Woman's Guide to Men, Sex and Love's Deepest Bliss. Get these books, for him, for you. You will see why.
Apart from that - chill.
posted by
Azur
on October 7, 2010 at 2:42 PM
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I don't think you are wrong to be hurt! But, damn, know your worth and don't settle for anything less! He should have made alternate plan in lieu of going camping! I think you are too convenient for him! You make the concessions and he gets the gravy so to speak! I hope you go to Wisconsin and have one heck of a good time! sam
posted by
sam444
on October 7, 2010 at 2:12 PM
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