Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
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- Go to Thank you Ciel and a few others for your advice, I am back again to explain
Dear One I can only speak from my own experience so many years ago. I Married the father of my children twice. I went through therapy went into business for myself grew and thought I had it all together. You see he had been the perfect date before I married him. After I divorced him he again was, even had some therapy, not a lot for himself, he was that charming promising person. I did not see it coming the last time. I thought for sure he had changed. Some do I am sure. I don't know about them, but I would still use caution and get therapy together or somethig powerful to let you know the truth about him. It hurts worse to go through it a second time when you feel sure you are going into a healed relationship. I love you and remember when this was going on and you were in such trouble. I want you to be happy and I don't have the answers, just prayer.
posted by
Justi
on July 16, 2011 at 11:29 AM
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Thank you all so much for your comments and advice...
I love coming here and expressing myself...I always go away feeling better for airing it....especially when I get comments like these ones...thanks so much much appreciated....I have written another post..this time from the heart....it's long, I am sorry for that...but I needed to get it off my chest....
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 16, 2011 at 4:54 AM
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Symphony
Y Look for cracked eggs. I hope that you'll find a good carton love. BC-A, Bill’s RRRst
posted by
BC-A
on July 16, 2011 at 4:48 AM
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That poem explains so much. Thank you for your visit. I will keep you in my prayers. Please feel free to email me if you need to talk.
posted by
Amanda__
on July 15, 2011 at 3:18 PM
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It is so classic, the abusive spouse, abused spouse...
Maybe it is easier for the abused to grow stronger, than for bullies to heal the inner damage that makes them abuse. You know you have done that.
Now the question is: Has he gone through a process of therapy to get past his abuser-programming? If he has, then it is far more likely he has changed. If he has not, then could be he has changed his mind... as he did when he returned to sanity after the times he hurt you. Maybe he has avoided the stress that sent him into violence. That is not a cure. How would he handle stress and frustration now? Has he gone through an anger-management program? Kudos if he has, but that is still not enough, because anger management courses are generalized methods to express anger safely. It takes counseling focused on the specific person to deal with the why of the anger.
If he hasn't done both, my suggestion is to keep at arm's length until he does.
If he won't, then your answer is clear.
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posted by
Ciel
on July 15, 2011 at 2:55 PM
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Thanks for your visit. I hope everything works out well for you.
posted by
Nita09
on July 14, 2011 at 11:22 PM
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I'm not much on giving advice, but I do like to read you and I'm always glad when you drop in for a visit. Would be nice if you stay around for a while.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 14, 2011 at 9:21 PM
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Well, about your question on whether people can change in five years...
YES... a lot. Is there a chance things could go bad again? Always.
What you have to remember is that there is always a chance that things will go bad in any relationship, especially if you don't have two people who are willing to work through the difficulties that can come up.
All I can say is evaluate your situation. Maybe get to know him as he is now. Don't try to build on the past... just start fresh. Think of things like.. do you like him as a person? Do you share interests? Does he seem sincere? ...etc... anything that may be important to you.
After you have answered yourself those things, you have to figure out if it is worth giving him a try. Yes, there will be a risk. Yes, the chance of having a great relationship is worth that risk, in my opinion.
Evaluate your situation... and decide how much you may gain from him, and if it is worth the risk to you.
Nice to see you back, by the way. 
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on July 14, 2011 at 6:32 PM
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posted by
afzal50
on July 14, 2011 at 5:49 PM
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I'll be back too!
posted by
Whacky
on July 14, 2011 at 3:20 PM
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Hi sweet little one. Instead of looking at whether he can change, look at you who has changed. You have a totally new life now with lots of success. I remember when you were going through this and it was so difficult for you. We all love you and are so very proud of you.
posted by
Justi
on July 14, 2011 at 3:18 PM
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blogit is sure a wonderful place to tell one's story and i find people
care rather than criticise. so many here have had a touch break or two or three and so are very understanding. Your poem speaks stright from your heart and so it was good to know that you have moved on from there since then.
posted by
Kabu
on July 14, 2011 at 2:52 PM
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It is wonderful all of the great advice and overall support we receive from our fellow bloggers.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on July 14, 2011 at 10:23 AM
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