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You say you are not a good model...?
You are the best kind of model: you show your daughter how to make a mistake, survive it, learn from it, and rise above it, to make your life better. You are the person you needed to be, to help her get through her pain with your understanding as well as your love.
How are you a bad model?
posted by
Ciel
on May 8, 2012 at 7:26 AM
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I love this post and the discussion that follows...
It seems so rational and sane here.
posted by
Pat_B
on May 6, 2012 at 5:37 AM
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Bel, that was inspiring. When is your book expected to be out?
posted by
Straightforward
on May 5, 2012 at 11:10 PM
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We all have our skeltons as it were but the main thing is what you say, taking care to make the present enjoyable and the future will take care of itself! sam 
posted by
sam444
on May 5, 2012 at 10:29 PM
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The distinction you draw between boys and men make sense...So important it is to learn from our past.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on May 5, 2012 at 8:08 PM
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Re: Naut
You are SO right! That could very likely be a topic of another blog post. As much as I would love to blame all that happened on Carl and not take my own responsibility, I can't.
I had the red flags and made the choice to ignore them and tell MYSELF lies. There are also many women out there who will play underhanded games to get a man. There are women out there who think men are nothing more than a meal ticket etc... none of which I condone.
It's we all grown up and create examples that will bring a new generation of adults into this society that are respectful, loving and emotionally healthy.
posted by
Bel_Marshall
on May 5, 2012 at 8:03 PM
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Re: BrightIrish
Thank you so very much!
posted by
Bel_Marshall
on May 5, 2012 at 8:00 PM
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Bel
I agree with you of course. But I must point to a 'mitigating circumstance' - there are an awful lot of women around who make it difficult for boys to be anything but boys...
posted by
Nautikos
on May 5, 2012 at 7:53 PM
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Such a great post .. I feel your guidance will not only be a gift to your daughter because others will gain from your experiences too. Excellent work! 
posted by
BrightIrish
on May 5, 2012 at 7:39 PM
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Re: you are right about there really are men out there. I found one...but
Darn it Kabu, now you made me cry. I feel so blessed to have you, Wiley and all my friends here at Blogit. I realize that each of you in your own way have kept me sane, loved me, been there when I needed you and have never ever abandoned me...I am so grateful to all of you. 
posted by
Bel_Marshall
on May 5, 2012 at 6:49 PM
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you are right about there really are men out there. I found one...but
it took most of my life to find him and yes I treasure him and loving him makes me want to be a better person. You are doing well come a long way to be writing this. I am proud of you and to have you for my friend.
posted by
Kabu
on May 5, 2012 at 6:47 PM
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