Go to I am here and I am not silent
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I'd like to...
One of these days, I would really love to post a link to my former partner's site indicating the direction in which he is going. Believe me, what he did to me - horrible as it was, damaging as it undeniably was - is truly peanuts compared to what he's doing right now to some poor woman.
posted by
kidnykid
on March 3, 2003 at 9:05 PM
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Yep, That's Him All Over
I am really intrigued by your posts on domestic abuse, especially when you focus on verbal and psychological torture. I was married to one of the guys you describe. When he was laid off, it was my fault. When he was ticketed for speeding, it was my fault. When he wrecked my car, it was my fault. (Not, mind you, the fault of the decrepit old man who backed his pickup truck out of the parking space without ever looking around to see if there was anyone behind him. It was my fault.) When he started looking at porn sites on the internet, it was my fault. It didn't matter how outlandish, unreasonable, or idiotic it was to try to blame me for the happenings in his life, it was my fault.
There is one thing, and only one thing, for which he can honestly lay the complete and total blame on me: the fact that we have only two children. When I realized how ill I was from back-to-back pregnancies, and when I understood that the marriage was dying, I decided to use every possible method to prevent a third pregnancy. He adamantly refused to use birth control, even though the doctor and midwife had said that I needed to avoid pregnancy for at least two years after the second baby was born. But I insisted on it --- no, I demanded it. And soon thereafter, I chose to leave him and establish a healthy home for my sons.
Anyway, keep up the posts....and help people to recognize that, while verbal and psychological abuse don't physically injure or disfigure a person, they hurt just as badly as beatings and they disfigure the soul.
posted by
editormum
on March 3, 2003 at 8:46 PM
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