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You are far more forgiving than I have been able to be.
posted by
Annicita
on June 20, 2023 at 5:14 PM
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Re: Pat B,
posted by
Ciel
on June 20, 2023 at 11:12 AM
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Re: CCT,
It's true that some hurts do not heal even when we have in our hearts forgiven, in our minds understood.
I well understand how your mother believed she could not love, though in fact, she might simply have never been able to recognize it in herself. I've learned that even if one doesn't feel love, it doesn't mean one does not love. I suspect a lot of us souls come to the world to learn what love is and is not, how many ways it is formed and manifested.
posted by
Ciel
on June 20, 2023 at 11:11 AM
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Re: adnohr,
The older I get, the more realizations are made among psychologists, friends, and relatives, the more I get it that most of the people I know fall somewhere on 'the spectrum' of mental/diversity. ADHD symptoms abound in my family, and it is more than a little plausible that my dad was on there somewhere with his total lack of empathy. I once told my mom that his relationship with me was like someone who drove the to beach and never got out of his car. She laughed and said, "He did that, actually, you know!"
posted by
Ciel
on June 20, 2023 at 10:59 AM
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A healing write. Some people do not seem to have the capacity for love, to show it or to accept it. I feel so sorry for them, for there is nothing quite as wonderful as love, be it for a child, a partner, a friend or an animal. Both the giving and the receiving.
posted by
adnohr
on June 19, 2023 at 3:14 PM
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Yes well, I think you are being over-generous. Intellect does not entitle one to
dismiss the love that should be shown to one's children. My Mother said she could
not show love to her children because she had never been shown any as a child.
Her father was killed early in the war and with such a large family no benefit came for months they had to rely on a loan from the so-called big house. That was only
because they were clean and respectable.
Her Mother came from a well-to-do business family that somehow went downhill
she had never really worked. Children too many. Love was surviving.
Scars sadly exist forever.
posted by
C_C_T
on June 19, 2023 at 11:10 AM
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posted by
Pat_B
on June 18, 2023 at 12:37 PM
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