Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, June 3, 2013

Poor Puddy cat!

Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When... Sign in to see full entry.

Gotcha

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the... Sign in to see full entry.

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Lightbulbs 2

Q: How many (generation) Xers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two, one to go and shoplift the bulb so the boomers have something to screw in and the other to screw it in for minimum wage. Q: How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they *like* it in the dark. Q:... Sign in to see full entry.

Lightbulbs

Q: How many gypsies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, but you lose a lot of light bulbs. Note: None because gypsies don't have mains electricity, and the losing is a play on the larcenous reputation of Gypsies. You give a Gypsy a light bulb and ask him to change the hallway lamp, pretty... Sign in to see full entry.

Bird dog

A bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything.... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

One in a million

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants,... Sign in to see full entry.

Coroner's Report

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner said, "No." The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?", and again the coroner said, "No." Then the attorney asked, "Did you... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

no time for grieving

An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." The... Sign in to see full entry.

Practicing the profession

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell are you doing?" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense,... Sign in to see full entry.