Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, December 30, 2012

who enjoys sex more?

A man and a woman were having drinks, getting to know one another and started bantering back and forth about male / female issues. They talked about who was better in certain sports, who were the better entertainers, etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour when the topic of sex came up. So... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Retiring destroyers

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the... Sign in to see full entry.

taking chances

A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes." Sign in to see full entry.

large gathering

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, "Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died." "Well," replied the man, "she must have had a lot of friends." "Nope," said... Sign in to see full entry.

perfect men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,... Sign in to see full entry.

couple fighting

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9... Sign in to see full entry.

mad wife

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light! Sign in to see full entry.

Dating conversation

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Dentist pun...a real groaner for you wiley

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and... Sign in to see full entry.

Blonde skydiving

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?" Sign in to see full entry.